4 is Fabulous

Earth Muffin tagged me to do this one and I am finally child-free at the moment!

Four places I go over and over again:

1) To my not so super sitter's house. She is nice and all but I use cloth diapers and she said she would not have a problem with using them, except she sends home poop in the diapers, yeah she does not even rinse or wipe them out.
2) To my MIL's they live right down the street and are very handy when I need a sitter, plus they have office supplies that I might need. And Aunt KiKi lives there too!
3) Cherry's IGA, because it is the closest grocery store within a 5 mile radius
4) Target, because I too hate Wal-Mart and I never go to K-Mart

Four people who mail me regularly:

1) My friend Billie in Alaska, it is always forwards though
2) The Splendid Table Weeknight Kitchen, loads of great recipes
3) Free Cycle.org
4) My BIL with the Mia Royer Newsletter

Four of my favorite places to eat, (apart from home):

1) IMO's Pizza, not another Pizza like it around here. It is a true St. Louis style pizza with thin crust and provel cheese
2) Taste of Thai, my favorite place to eat Thai
3) Darcy's Pint, great home-made chips and cold beer
4) Red Lobster, I know cheesy answer but I am craving it right now!

Four places I'd rather be now:

1) at a job interview?? I need a job so having an interview would be great
2) out with the Anti-Hippie ALONE!!
3) at the movies
4) out with my Girlie Girls!

Four favorite TV shows:

1) ER, I've watched this since the very first episode. I am with Earth Muffin on this one, I love ER and I am already sad it is almost over.
2) LOST, it starts in three weeks cannot wait
3) Criminal Minds, because I love Mathew Gubler's character and some of the shows just creep me out!
4) Arrested Development, very smart but it got canceled :(

Four movies I could watch over and over again:

1) Princess Bride, what a great movie and book
2) Almost Famous, Earth Muffin turned me on to this movie!!
3) Office Space, because everyone's had a job they hate as much as Peter hates that job. The Anti Hippie can recite this movie verbatim.
4) Gone With the Wind, because I sit down every year and spend hours watching this movie!!
and if I could get a #5 up there it would be Ferris Bueller's Day Off just because it was one of my favorites for a long time
Four people I'm tagging:

1. ?????
2. ?????
3. Help me out here!
4. Anyone, anyone??

Christmas Predicament

My eldest son Eddy, is at that age where I think he has a sneaking suspicion that there is not really a Santa Claus. You know, the one who brings the gifts? Where upon lies my predicament. Do I tell him or not? Do I let him become Santa Claus on Christmas Eve and help us put out the presents? Do I really want to open that can of worms with my tell-all-to-anyone-number-one-son'?
He has a big mouth and his very opinionated. I never actually ever remember being told there was not a Santa Claus, up into my late-late teens my parents still went to great lengths to make it seem like there was really a Santa Claus. I think I figured it out when I was Eddy's age, but part of me wanted to believe, part of me still wants to believe. If I do not put out the gifts will there magically be some gifts there in the morning?
I want my children to stay children for as long as possible, because as you readers know it is a cruel-cruel world out there, and reality really does SUCK. I know he will not stay young forever, but I still want Christmas to be magical for Eddy.
I was thinking that this year because we actually have a fire place, that I would even leave ashy foot prints around the fire place. Those of you who know Eddy know what a blabber mouth he is, I think I will try and keep this one under wraps for one more year.

December Ramblings

I cannot believe that Christmas is in less than one week! Where did 2008 go? Oh yeah I forgot, we had our house on the market and then it sold, I was working on my Master's degree, I had just had a baby, anything else?
Well, I have not been blogging much lately because I have been a hell-uv-alot busy these days. Even though I am not currently employed BES has called me to sub 5 out of the past 10 school days, I repainted the dinning room, I finished painting Gnat's room, I baked some cookies, I went shopping for Santa, and I am trying to keep this house in order. So, those things do not allow me much time for blogging.
I just want to rant for a moment about how I hate the Holidays, no not all of it just some of it. I, unlike my BFF, love Christmas music, I know all the classic carols and sing along when they come on the radio, I love decorating for Christmas, and if you all check your mail soon you'll see the hand-made card just from our family to yours. The things I hate are obvious, I hate spending money on 'stuff', I hate shopping in general so to actually go out and purchase unnecessary 'stuff' for other people just ticks me off, I hate crowds they make me crabby, and did I mention that I really hate shopping?
Anyway check your mail, I really do wish all three of my readers a very happy and healthy holiday season. Please stop by if you are in the neighborhood and have a beer with us, we would love to show off my new paint jobs!!

Happy Belated Birthday Eddy

Summer 2008

Winter circa 2000

Eddy you are the biggest pain in my butt, but you changed my life forever that night you arrived 10 years ago. I love you and hope you grow up to be a strong man! Thank you for coming into my life and for making me see that there is more than one way to skin a cat!!

Love, Mom

WTF Wednesday

WTF Parents at my son's Christmas program last night? Did you not hear the principal announce that you needed to be quiet while the students other than your own were singing. SHUT THE FUCK UP PEOPLE!!! Come on I know Little Suzie Q looked so sweet in her little Christmas dress, but did you have to get up 20 times to take her picture? I also know that when big kids sing, it is boring, but that was my big kid who was up there while you were talking on your cell phone and while your kids were running and screaming in the lobby. Did you not think that they have been practicing this since before Halloween, and that you might want to encourage the freaking arts?

WTF Teacher? No not my cooperating teacher but her BFF, I cannot stand her. She wants to be the center of attention but really no one cares. So to you SHUT UP!!! Also Ms. Music Teacher, who needs to get laid, quit smacking your food in my ear at lunch, or move to another table.

WTF Family? It is the holiday season not a competition for you to go out and buy, or better yet for you to ask for big ticket items. You know who you are! They asked for a Barbie Jeep for their baby who is younger than Gnat, and who is not even walking yet?? WTF

WTF Weather? Just snow enough to get school canceled, this icy road shit has got to go. Either let it rip and send us a blizzard or just stop!

FINALLY!!!!

This week marks the end of a very long journey, I will finish my student teaching on Friday and will graduate with a Master's Degree in Education. This journey started over 13 years ago when I initially graduated from high school with hopes of becoming a teacher. I attended a private college near the town where we lived until I could no longer afford to pay their tuition. I completed most of my general studies at that private college, when it came time to transfer to a state university I found that few if any of my credits actually transferred over, which was the universities way of saying that they wanted more of my money. Needless to say, I flunked out my third year of college because I was just tired of the bureaucracy. I wanted more in my life, I needed direction. So I left.

I really ran away to Alaska. I wanted to see the world, I wanted to have an adventure, I wanted. I was naive and I trusted people and humanity too much, and I ended up pregnant and on welfare. Ten years ago next week I gave birth to my son, Eddy and my life changed forever. I needed a good paying job with benefits and I needed to get my life back together, not only for me but for this life I had just brought into the world. I came back home. I drug my no good lousy sperm donor, two dogs, and a baby back and tried to get it in order. That lasted for about a year, when I became tired of his abuse, and I left with only the baby and the truck.

Meanwhile I had started back to college albeit one night a week, but I was a trooper I went to class faithfully every week. I moved in with my parents and they assumed child care on those nights when I had class, I had also secured a job as a personal care teacher assistant for three disabled children in a local school district. I trudged on, I worked as an aide full time during the week and on the weekends I bar tended and waitressed my way through bills and tuition. In 2002 I graduated with a bachelor's degree in psychology. PSYCHOLOGY, yeah you thought I went for the teacher degree right then and there huh? Well nope, I was too proud to quit my job with full benefits and an actual income to fulfill the requirements for the teacher degree, which included quitting the said job and going back on welfare.

Well then again I found myself STUCK, I was a really good aide, but I hated my job. I hated being bossed around and found myself seeking another way out. So I started working on an associates degree in Fire Science because at that time in my life I needed more adventure and what better way to quench that need than to become a Firefighter. I broke many barriers in my pursuit of the Fire Science Degree, I was the first woman in the program to complete Fire Fighter I and II. I was the only woman in the class, and that in itself was exhilarating.

Meanwhile I joined a local fire department where I was treated as an equal and where I would later meet the Anti-Hippie. The summer after the Anti Hippie and I were married he encouraged me to get a degree that would make me happy and one that would allow me to get a job that I would be happy with. So I did, I started in the summer of 2006 and here it is a little over 2 years later and I am graduating with a degree that I am proud of and that I initially started out pursuing oh so many years ago. Well, my student teaching was one of the best things that I ever did, and I can honestly tell you I put my heart and soul into my class, my lesson plans, and my teaching. I have never worked so hard in my entire life as I have these past 4 months, and I did not even get paid for this! I am proud of myself. I am also proud of my family for supporting me over the past decade with all my career changes and wild adventures!

Happy Third

Dearest Husband,

Happy third anniversary. I love you more each day, no matter how crazy it gets around here. You surprise me with your patience and understanding. I know I am not easy to live with and that I tend to get testy sometimes. Our wedding day is still one of the most special days in my entire life. In fact today with the Indian Summer like weather we are experiencing I was thinking back to that Saturday just three short years ago.
It has not always been easy for us and I expect more turbulent times ahead. Just know that I love you and that I really like being married to you. Happy Anniversary.

Love, Earthy Birthy Mama

Crabby Patty Strikes Again

My mother has been bugging me for weeks about what to get the kids for Christmas/Hanukkah. I told her Eddy would appriciate a membership to the zoo, horse riding lessons, or art lessons. I told her Gnat would love a Waldorf Doll. Waldorf Dolls are made exclusively of natural fibers and the doll that I linked here is a fair trade doll, which means that the people making the dolls are treated fairly and paid a fair wage. I love this doll and coveted these when I was a little girl. They will allow so much imagination to the little girl or boy who plays with it, as they are not electronic and they encourage imaginative play.
Crabby Patty called me today to let me know that she does not like the doll and she will not be buying it for the Gnat. Okay, then why the fuck did you ask me what she wanted? Crabby Patty, being an expert in fiber art, said that the doll was too expensive and she thought it was ugly. Well riddle me this, will she be playing with the doll?
So I guess Santa Earthy Birthy and Santa Anti- Hippie will be buying the Gnat her very own Waldorf Doll.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

This post actually started several years ago but, I was not a blogger back then.

I was running into Target one day after Thanksgiving to get ribbon for a wreath. The wreath was for the cemetery as we decorate family gravestones each year for the holidays. While at Target I met one of Eddy's teachers I introduced myself and she told me she had a story to tell me about Eddy. I groaned thinking this was 'one of those' stories about his behavior or something. She continued, "last week I read to Eddy's first grade class, we read about Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving, you know the one where he messes up the meal?" yes.... "Well, after Charlie Brown messes up the meal he calls his Grandma, and I asked the class 'what do you think Charlie Brown's grandma told Charlie Brown about messing up the meal' and in all seriousness I called on Eddy and he said 'whaaa whaaaawaaaa' the teacher said, just like the adults on Charlie Brown talk." I was rolling on the floor! As an avid Charlie Brown fan, that is in fact what Charlie Brown's grandma would have said.

Second funny thing Eddy said happened many moons ago when he was in nursery school. I do not think they still call it that, so let me rewind and say that he was in pre-school. He came home one day in January and said we are learning about martinknewtheking, huh?? I said. You know that African American who helped give people freedom, you know mom martinknewtheking day, we don't have school that day. oh I said, Martin Luther King, yeah he said martinknewtheking. So every year in our house we celebrate the birthday of that great American freedom fighter Martin Knew the King.

Finally a funny that is not so funny, but take it in context. Before the Anti Hippie and I lived together Eddy and I lived with my parents. We watched a lot of news, Eddy watched the news with us every night, as we prepared dinner. Well with this story maybe he watched a tad to much. I recently had a class with a lady, we shall call her Jenni, who was doing her student teaching in Eddy's kindergarten class and she told me this story: One March afternoon while Jenni was in Eddy's classroom the teacher came in and told the class she had some bad news, and Eddy pipes up unsolicited and says "yeah I know Terri Schiavo died" and the teacher and Jenni who were really going to tell the class that recess was going to be inside, just looked at each other, wondering where in hell did that come from. Well folks that came from the mouth of a kindergartener who watched too much adult television.

Hope my stories made you laugh, they are much better told in person with a good glass of wine, but you get the point. Right?

This and That

First of all Happy 10th Anniversary to my BFF and her Husband. She posted a lovely little note to him on her Blog, go over and check it out. I wish them the best as they travel to K.C. this weekend for a little get away!!

Secondly, I am so happy fall has finally made her appearance, summer is my FAVORITE time of year, but fall/autumn comes in a close second. I love this weather and the anticipation of the fall foliage this year, colors are supposed to be spectacular. We decorated our porch with home-grown pumpkins from our garden and corn stalks from our garden as well. I think we have finally come to a conclusion about costumes this year also, Eddy wants to go as an Army Guy, (which I think is "gay", but he gets to carry a toy gun, so he thinks its cool) and Gnat is going to be an olive!!

Finally I am happy that my household is getting along somewhat, I have not dropped the 'F' bomb all week, so knock on real wood this lasts. Last week was crazy hectic around here with all the yelling and screaming and "F" bombs. I also told my mother that she needs to quit calling so much and criticizing my parenting, Eddy is ours not hers, and I don't need her Jewish Mother guilt making me even crazier.

Hope y'all are doing great!

Letter

The more I think about this the more angrier I get. My SIL in California is pregnant again, except it is a big secret. She is keeping it a secret from me and the other SIL until she is so pregnant we could not possibly steal her thunder. Yet, every time another member of the family has gotten pregnant she has gotten pregnant so she could steal their thunder. She always had more of what ever it was that the other pregnant person had, whether it was weight gain, cravings, cramps, pain, ect.. So, I just have to draft her a quick note so that this is not sticking in my craw for the rest of the week.


Dear Em,

I heard you were pregnant. Well gosh I hope I am not pregnant too, my period is seven days late, albeit that it is still pretty irregular since I am still breast feeding the Gnat. But let's get one thing straight if the other SIL or myself wishes to get pregnant then we are in no way stealing your thunder, this will be your fourth kid and you are only 26. You have not done the best job at raising the three you have, so let's think about this for a second... Do you only like them when they are babies and they constantly need your attention? Do you like the attention you get when you walk around all pregnant? Do you like the attention you get when you walk around with your troupe of three plus the baby?

WELL I sure hope my period comes soon, I would surely upstage you since I am here with all the family and all..
Think about it.
Talk to you really soon.

Love,
Earthy Birthy Mama

I have been tagged...

I was tagged by my friend, Earth Muffin, this tagging happened about a month ago, but alas I have been so busy it had to wait until now. I am not tagging anyone although if you want to play just copy and paste and add your answers.

Have Fun!!

A. Attached or single?
Attached, I really like being married. There is something safe and comforting in knowing that I will always have a someone to come home to, even if we disagree!

B. Best friend?
Earth Muffin and Aunt Kiki are probably two of my closest friends.

C. Cake or pie?
I love cake, just cake no icing, I totally love cake batter too. I love bundt cakes the best.

D. Day of choice?
I love Friday afternoons, the anticipation for the weekend

E. Essential item?
chap-stick, I am totally with EM on this one, also my sunglasses

F. Favorite color?
Yellow

G. Gummy bears or worms?
I love sour gummy worms and red gummy bears

H. Hometown?
Well I grew up in A-Town, but now reside in V-Town which is really small

I. Indulgence?
Pedicures, expensive beer, wine (I drink $5.00 bottles of Illinois Cellars, Norton)

J. January or July?
I like the newness of January, but the baby' s birthday is in July so I'll take either

K. Kids?
Yes, and I want more

L. Life isn’t complete without?
My Anti-Hippie and my kids

M. Marriage date?
November 5, 2005

N. Number of brothers & sisters?
One, Uncle Nascar

O. Oranges or apples?
both, but I like green apples the best

P. Phobias?
I have OCD so I am not really scared of anything but dirt

Q. Quotes?
"The recollection of quality remains long after the price is forgotten"

R. Reasons to smile?
My family, my friends, our health

S. Season of choice?
Early Summer or maybe Spring

T. Tag seven peeps]
I can't
(Sorry, Not tagging anyone. Many of the people I read don't seem to do memes. )

U. Unknown fact about me?
I can stand up and pee!! Really, I taught myself on a camping trip, I can stand and pee, bet your jealous!

V. Vegetable?
I like most all vegetables, artichokes and avocados are my favorites

W. Worst habits?
yelling at my kid Eddy, being bitchy, saying I'm sorry when I did not do anything, oh yeah and the guilt, good old catholic guilt.

X. X-ray or ultrasound?
Huh?? I had ultra sounds with both kids

Y. Your favorite food?
Cheese and salads

Z. Zodiac sign?
I am a Leo, bossy and in charge.

Putting away Summer

Well I think today might just be one of the last warm days of our Indian Summer. I have this feeling in my bones that I need to take all my beautiful flowers to the covered back porch, for some frost protection, so that I may enjoy them just a little longer. I saw the golden rod a few weeks ago, and the wives tale says with in weeks of seeing the golden rod there will be frost.
Now I am not complaining about the weather we have been having, it has been glorious, but it too must go. I have already begun to see some Sugar Maple trees start to turn. The ones I saw were a most beautiful crimson and yellow, also the hickory trees have already turned yellow.
So on this fair Sunday I am on my way outside to decorate for Halloween and to put my lovely summer flowers on the back porch. Fear not readers the flowers will return next April in all their stunning glory, until then though I will remember how they looked this past summer

WTF Wednesday

Hey Peeps! It is time for another WTF Wednesday. I know I have been away for a long time, but I have a really great reason, and it is called sleep. I am so very tired when I get home from work each night, and after fixing dinner I do not feel much like blogging or even getting on line so that is that.
Before I start my WTF I must say that student teaching is going so well, I love my class and Peter my cooperating teacher.

WTF People who do not use your turn signals? If you are going to turn, put your flipping turn signal on so that people know you are going to turn. Sometimes on my drive home, I find myself using the turn signal on the one way part of the square in C-Ville. People just use it, it is not that big of a deal, how about you get off your phone to free up one of your hands and use your blinker?

WTF 9 year old Eddy? Why are your teachers calling me already? It is only the 6th week of school, could you not wait to start misbehaving until like February? Come on, quit giving your teachers a hard time and for Pete's Sake bring your fricking assignment notebook home as well as your books, okay?

WTF Family? Why do you need to eat each and every night? Why? When I come home from work I am really tired, too tired in fact to make dinner AND clean it up. Husband, dear husband PLEASE BE PROACTIVE AND FIX SOME FREAKING DINNER!!!!

WTF third grade student who gags when he gets in trouble? Please do not gag around me, do not puke around me, do not make the heaving sound around me, I HATE PUKE it will make me puke. When you get in trouble kid, you are in trouble, I caught you, you are busted, so please do not gag when I take you out in the hall to discuss your behavior.

Gosh this was to therapeutic, I need to get up here more often. Talk to y'all later.

Holy Shit Where Did the Week Go?

Well I have two MeMes from Earth Muffin that I have to do, as well as a ton of other shit so that all must wait until the weekend. But I have a ton of other shit to get off my chest so here goes.

I took Baby Gnat to the Doctor this week as she needed a physical for the new babysitter. Well... um.... I am a great, wonderful, loving caring, outstanding mother but I have not kept up on her immunizations. Like, she has not had any since she left the hospital the day she was born. Now I am not trying to be radical in not immunizing my child, but for crying out loud Doctor. Do not belittle me for not doing so, she is my child and I am SUPER busy and actually we do not go to the Doctor that often so getting her immunized was not my top priority. Also, public health clinic please do not talk down to me, I am not PWT (poor white trash), and when I decline the MMR because I would like to find a Green Doctor who will give the MMR in three separate shots please do not announce to the whole group of people waiting in line that "SHE DECLINED THE MMR" while you are shouting across the room to the nurse who is setting up what vaccinations Baby Gnat will be getting. See the county Public Health Service has a clinic at various locales throughout the county on various days of the week, their set up so that when you walk in the door you sign in and get the necessary paper work filled out for the vaccinations you need, then they tell the nurse across the room what she needs to get out, then you walk across the room (this happened to be a fellowship hall at a tiny church), and you get the said shots. I am not a criminal because I didn't have my vaccines up to date. Also Doctor, if I choose to not feed Baby Gnat meat until she is older, that is okay too. She is getting all the protein she needs from my BOOBS, and from the various vegetables and dairy products that I feed her. She eats tofu, she eats beans, I eat nuts and meat. I think her dietary intake of protein is satisfactory. And no, Crabby Patty I am not starting some radical movement by not vaccinating my kid. Like I said MY KID.

Okay on to less bitchier things. I love my cooperating teacher, Pete. She has already let me teach some lessons, which have gone great. I like my class of Third Graders, they are so eager to learn and think that it is really neat that I am still in school and that they get to have 2 teachers until December. They actually listen to me and respect me like they should. YIPEE.

I bought a book that is helping me deal with Eddy's health issues and that is going GREAT. Three days of being TOTALLY CLEAN!!! He is actually behaving himself while the Anti-Hippie has been gone, and I can see that he is really trying to help me. He is a great kid with tons of potential to be a wonderful adult, and I love him dearly, I hope we are on the road to recovery and we have turned over a new leaf.

I still have not found before or after school care for Eddy but Baby Gnat's sitter is really working out. She is very patient with the fact that Baby Gnat is having some separation anxiety right now, and was so excited about Baby Gnat taking her first steps on Wednesday at her house. That makes me sad that I was not there, but I am happy it happened at Jamie's house.

I miss the Anti-Hippie so much, but when he leaves for two weeks it gives me time to assert some of my independence. I feel empowered, (I feel empowered when he is here, but right now it is just me, I have the 2 kids and I am responsible for EVERYTHING). I also am not washing 17 loads of laundry a day, nor am I washing dishes every night. I miss him and can't wait to F*** his brains out when he gets home, but being here alone reminds me how lucky I am than I have such a good guy whom is not bothered by helping out equally with housework or child rearing.

Well it seems like this week just flew by, and not that I am hoping my life away but let the next 14 weeks go by equally as fast so that I can be finished with this student teaching and I can work on getting my own classroom, or at least a job!

WHEW!

My cooperating teacher cusses like a sailor and drinks beer!! My cooperating teacher whom I'll call Peter (even though she is a girl), is very nice. What was I worrying about? We have 23 third graders in a school that is less than 5 years old. So everything is new, it still looks new, smells new, and makes for a wonderful learning environment. Peter seems really cool and we ate lunch in a diner today owned by some DEADHEADS, it was way cool. Peter is willing to let me have whatever materials I need and do whatever I need to do. I am so relieved. This might just be a wonderful learning experience.

The babysitter whom I'll call Smith, is also wonderful. Baby Gnat seemed to really take to her. She took her naps at the appropriate times and was well behaved. Smith also agreed to use cloth diapers, whooohooo!! Which saves me some cash, as I will be cash strapped very soon. Also, one of my ex-boyfriends little girl goes to Smith's. When we interviewed Smith she asked me if I knew Gretchen Wilson (that is my ex-boyfriends ex-wife, he started dating her shortly after we broke up). I told Smith that I knew Gretchen (that is really who she looks like). Well today when I pulled up, I noticed this red haired little girl, and I knew right away who she was even though I never met her, because she looks just like the ex's brother Joey. Anyway Gretchen and Jake got divorced last year sometime, and I know this because I read it in the local paper, and Gretchen is a single mom with this little girl. Gretchen did not get a teaching job this year, but needed work and a sitter so they are back at Smith's house.

Anyway, all in all a good day. I really have nothing to be worried about, except Eddy's child care situation. I did call the day care center here in town and got on their wait list and I put an ad in the paper for a teenager who could come before and after school to watch Eddy. I hope this works, until then he is at my FIL's.

Hope everyone else had a good Monday or First Day Back at School.

Good Bye Summer

Good Bye Summer. I really enjoyed you this year, though I really miss the pool from our old house. See, if I still had the pool, I could hang on to summer just a bit longer, but I digress.


Things I really enjoyed this summer:

• Not having to get up early
• Reading the newspaper and refilling my coffee cup several times while reading and doing the puzzles
• My Garden
• My Flowers
• Watching my kids have fun and enjoy the summer (except for that time Eddy got kicked out of camp)
• My new bike
• Sewing ( this will be a future Blog post, some things I made need buttons)
• Canning vegetables from Garden
• Baby Gnat turning one
• Spending time with the Anti Hippie
• Some of the nice weather we have been having
• Good Books

So, good bye summer, I will catch you on the flip side. Thanks for coming this year. Talk to you later. EBM

Vindicated

I now feel vindicated. My Mother in Law Not Crabby Patti did not have a wonderful time in California like I previously mentioned. In fact she had a horrible time, Aunt Duckie was hormonal for the whole trip and Aunt Not So Earthy Birthy is not on her meds and was totally manic for the whole trip. The nieces and nephews are wild as ever, so I feel vindicated.

Also everyone apologized for Flakin' on me. Not Crabby Patti can help out with Eddy before school, if we need her and FIL felt really bad about not being able to help out. See his mother took care of The Anti Hippie and his three siblings when they were growing up because FIL worked all the time and Not Crabby Patti did not have custody of her 4 kids (another story for another time). Anyways everyone felt bad for Flakin' on me. But we still need to resolve the before and after school care issues for Eddy.

Maybe this too will work itself out. I feel better, I feel VINDICATED.

Why's Everbody Always Flakin' On Me?

Today I had a really important meeting about my student teaching and weeks ago I asked MIL to watch the kids, she even got out her calendar and wrote us down. Well earlier this week after she got back from seeing her favorite son in California I emailed her asking her if we were still on for her babysitting the kids while I went to my really important meeting. She emailed me back and said that she did not have us written in her calendar and that she could not babysit my kids. Crabby Patty ended up babysitting and she and Baby Gnat got along fabulously, so that worked out.

Okay MIL I get it, you are upset with me over something I did or said, and instead of telling me to my face, you are going to pretend that I did not give you all the information for the date that I needed you and instead of just telling me 'no, I can't' or 'no, I do not want to', you are going to make it look like I made the mistake about the babysitting schedule. GREAT, WONDERFUL, FREAKING FABULOUS.

Now, I am also dealing with some MAJOR behavior issues with Eddy these days, and we are really thinking something is physiologically WRONG with him and we are considering counseling and even medication. I am even considering military schools, because I have had it with his behaviors. I think there is something really wrong with him and I won't go into details because I am still going through the stages of grief. Right now I am at BLAMING.

So, we had it all worked out that Eddy would go over to my FIL's house before and after school. My FIL lives really close to the school and Eddy could walk or ride his bike to and from school. WELL, my FIL told The Anti Hippie TONIGHT (FRIDAY NIGHT) that he does not trust Eddy and he would prefer it if we could find other arrangements for Eddy for before and after school. FIL is just too busy with his ever expanding business to have to watch Eddy before and after school. Now, I get it I know Eddy cannot be trusted, he lies, he steals, he gets carried away, he won't stop, he is defiant, and he has some other problems. But he waited until tonight to tell us that he just can't help us, he just can't watch Eddy, and that we need to look into getting Eddy some psychological help and we need to look into getting Eddy before and after school care.

I am in tears right now, The Anti Hippie is out of town for his 2 week stint with the military and I am starting the most important part of my schooling right now, and I am supposed to find CHILD CARE over the WEEKEND.

WELL, HELLS BELLS!


I hope this gets better.

Praise the Lord

I was talking to Crabby Patty on the phone the other day, and some how the topic of who was going to take care of her in the event of something happening to my father. {I do not wish my dad any harm, I am just sayin' that my mom will probably live to be 108} Anyways she said, yeah I figured I go down and live with Uncle NASCAR in North Carolina if any thing happened to your dad.

WOOOOHOOO!!!! I am so happy for Uncle Nascar.

WTF Wednesday

Okay I cannot sleep so this is technically posted on Thursday morning but WTF.

WTF Summer Vacation?
Where did you go? You came on so slow, by the beginning of May I was wondering if you would ever make your appearance. Now I only have a few precious days left, and they are flying by. I really enjoyed our time together, reading books, blogging, swimming, gardening, sleeping late, being lazy drinking too much wine, but soon you will be but a fleeting memory. This was not the best summer on record, but WTF why did you have to pass through so quickly?

WTF Laundry?
Dear Laundry Pile, go away! Love, EBM I mean seriously how do you get so big, I wash you and sometimes hang you out on the new clothes line, or toss you into the dryer, and I fold you. But, you keep on coming back. Is it the people here? Do they use a clean towel every time they shower? I use my towel at least three times if not more before I put it in the laundry. Is it the messy eating baby? I try and feed her with a bib on or I strip her to her diaper. Is it the smelly boy that lives here? Oh laundry please learn to wash your self.

WTF Neighbor Boys?
I am not an irresponsible parent, although on occasion I do let Eddy run free through out the neighbor hood, so what's up with all the boys here in the 'hood thinking its okay to come to the door and ask where Eddy is? First of all this normally happens when Baby Gnat is sleeping and secondly get on your damn bike and ride around and find him. Right now the 17 year locust are out and he is looking for them. It is not my day to keep track of him. {I really do keep track of him}

WTF Squirrels?
The Bird feeders are not for you, I put out cobs of field corn just for you. You know on those silly little seats? You are not letting the birds eat! Please, kindly move your fat asses up to the cobs on the tree. You look so cute sitting in the little chair eating your corn or trying to eat it off of that spinning thing.

WTF Poison Ivy or itchy rash all over Eddy?
The other night after Eddy mowed all the yards with the Anti Hippie he came in before bed and was scratching up a storm. I chalked it up to mowing the grass, gave him a Benadryl, told him to quit stalling, and sent him to bed. Well Tuesday morning he comes to breakfast and his face is swollen and he has a redish rash all over his neck, stomach, penis, and butt. I call the Dr. and upon seeing him pronounced it poison ivy. Dr. gave us a script for prednisolone. It seems to be clearing up but maybe not. Eddy hates taking any kind of medicine so this has been a real treat. We have gone the whole summer without getting any sort of itchy scratchy rash so WTF? Right before the craziest week of this year starts Eddy gets a itchy scratchy rash? ahhh

Putting Corn By

I am canning and putting food by, all this week. Mother Nature knew this was going to begin the craziest week in my life (important meetings (3), school starts, student teaching starts, Eddy starts 4th grade, Baby Gnat starts new baby sitter, and Anti Hippie leaves for his 2 week AT with the Navy) so she decides that it is time for Earthy Birthy to harvest her garden. Every time I walk near the garden, I see more ripe tomatoes. I will be canning those bad boys tomorrow. But tonight I put some fresh sweet corn by. The title of this post and the idea of putting food by came from this book probably the BEST book for canning and putting food by ever written.
When I was a little girl, I always helped Ma and Pa Kettle (new names for Crabby Patty and Red Green) harvest the garden. When I was older I not only got to harvest but stay up and help put food by, I remember one really hot summer and Pa was gone and Ma and I canned 35 quarts of tomatoes and it was so hot by the end of the night I was in my bra peeling and coring tomatoes. That was way before children and way before they moved out to the prairie.
This year with the cost of food, I thought that I might put some food by, I always can tomatoes but this year I have sort of a bumper crop of corn so tonight I put 7 cups of corn by, and come next January when the nights are cold, I will get to enjoy the fruits of my labor.


Three rows of Illini Sweet corn behind the 'tall as can be' sun flowers [aka the tall as fuck sun flowers].

Shucked corn cleaned in sink, waiting for water on stove to boil.
Said water getting ready to boil, you wouldn't know it but boiling water makes for a hot kitchen.
Supplies: sharp knife, water for hydration, wine for libation, and cookbook for the blanching times, as I cannot find my copy of Putting Food By.

Corn in water 'returning' to boil.
Corn out of boiling water and into cold water to cool rapidly.
7 cups of corn in freezer waiting for January and the next batch due later this week.

I know I blog about how much my Ma drives me crazy, but she did teach me important lessons in her kitchen and in her garden. I am proud that I can Put Food By and that I learned how to do it from her. If you want to help out tomorrow with the tomatoes let me know, I have two sharp pairing knives and some cold beers to share.

My Flowers in Picture Form

Koi Pond, minus 50 or so fish. Last week we got rid of all but 10 fish, the pond is quite beautiful.



Corn plant, on my back porch. I moved all the house plants outside to the back porch and they are thriving!




This one is called a Lime Zinger and the picture does not do the color justice. It is the prettiest green I have ever seen.




Hostas that are grown in a container, it too is thriving!




Begonias.



Impatients




Tallest ever Sunflowers. They are at least 12 feet tall.




Lantanna, so pretty


Container Herb garden.

Thoughts on being honest

Eddy Haskel is not the Anti Hippies' biological son. Before we got married the Anti Hippie and I discussed the adoption and felt it was the natural thing to do. Eddy did not know his biological father, and before he was two his biological father gave up parental rights and we had Eddy's last name changed to my last name. Eddy never questioned where is father was so it was never an issue for me.

The Anti Hippie and I thought that Eddy should come to the court house on the day of the adoption so that it would seem more formal in his little mind. Having never done this before I was unaware that the biological father's name would be mentioned throughout the court proceedings, several times. I worried myself sick on the way home from the courthouse about how many questions I would get from Eddy about said biological father. On the way home the boys found a turtle and all the questions never happened because of the turtle excitement. Several weeks later I sent out this email to friends and family as a script that they were supposed to follow if and when Eddy had questions.

Script:
A long time ago before Eddy Haskel was born Earthy Birthy Mama lived in Alaska, she had a baby there and his name was Eddy. Earthy Birthy Mama and Eddy lived in Alaska for a while. Earthy Birthy Mama was not being treated very nicely by a guy named Biological Father, who is Eddy's biological father. Earthy Birthy Mama called Crabby Patty and Red Green (her parents) and said that she wanted to leave and come live with them, because if Biological Father was not treating her right he probably would not treat baby Eddy very nicely either. So Crabby Patty and Red Green let Earthy Birthy Mama and Eddy live with them. Earthy Birthy Mama and Biological Father went to court and Biological Father left the court, because he did not like Eddy's Grandma Crabby Patty and Grandpa Red Green. Earthy Birthy Mama waited and waited until she met a really nice guy named the Anti Hippie. Earthy Birthy Mama and the Anti Hippie got married and the Anti Hippie became Eddy's dad when they adopted Eddy on June 14, 2006. The Anti Hippie is Eddy's Dad.

See, Eddy is a sneak and he could possibly blindside someone into giving out information that could quite possibly create a web of problems for me. So in my email I told friends and family to stick to the 'script' and if there were questions that they could not possibly answer that they should let me know and I would take care of the situation.

Everyone has been cool with the script thing, until tonight. Eddy was prying me for information, and I told him everything. I told him that I made mistakes, but he was not a mistake. I was mistreated and abused and that his biological father was not very nice. I even showed him pictures that I had been saving of what his Biological father looked like. I figured he would like me better in the long run if I was honest. We had a real frank conversation about my feelings on his biological father, and why I made choices. I made it clear that some of my choices were not right, or fair, or even legal, but they were my choices. I asked him if he had any questions and he wanted to know if I married the Anti Hippie because he was the opposite of his father? I told Eddy that the Anti Hippie respects me as a person, as a woman, as a partner, and loves me for who I am. The Anti-Hippie also loves Eddy with his whole heart as if he were Eddy's biological father and that is why we are so tough on him. That is why we expect him to be the best, because in our eyes he is the best. Eddy is the best mistake I ever made.

So being honest with Eddy tonight made me feel better. I feel like I have fewer skeletons in my closet, I feel like I don't have to be angry anymore about decisions that I made for the betterment of my family. It is time to let go of the anger I feel towards Biological Father and let Eddy become the person he is supposed to be, with the father that really truly loves him.

Open letter to White Trash Babysitter

Dear White Trash Teenage Babysitters at the Pool,

Hey Girls, you looked really hot today in your brassieres (bras) that you were wearing as bikini tops. Did you know that the little boy crying at the gate of the baby pool was in your care today? The weather here is hot as an oven, we are under a heat warning for Pete's Sake. Yeah I know we are at the pool but you can still get dehydrated in the water and you can sure as heck get sun poisoning. Maybe he was crying because he was hungry, tired, or thirsty. I am sure his white trash mama gave you some money to buy him something from the vending machines at the pool. You looked really refreshed drinking that cold Mountain Dew, from the vending machines.
Oh, you did not see him crying? Is that because you were on your phone or because you were too wrapped up in your ghetto talk with your other friend to notice, the crying tired little boy standing at the gate of the baby pool. Yeah you girls sounded so ghetto to me, like you came straight out of the hood, or in our town I think we call it the Trailer Park.
I am sure you would have noticed that the other Mamas and Grand-mamas at the pool kept on giving you dirty looks if you would have put down the phone. You would have also heard us saying stuff to the little boy like "honey I am sure your mama will be here soon" and "did you eat any lunch today?" and best of all "honey who is supposed to be watching you, why are you all alone in here?"
Well White Trash Babysitter you were too preoccupied with whatever it is that you were doing to notice, but I did. Did you get a date with CJ, KJ, or TJ ? Couldn't help overhearing your conversations, as you were talking on your phone while sitting in the baby pool. Your bra tan lines look fabulous, but I wouldn't let you watch my freakin' lizards!

Yours, EBM

Happy World Breast Feeding Week

Baby Eddy Haskell and Earthy Birthy Mama circa July 1999


I just visited Mamac-Ta's blog and there is the most beautiful picture of Mamac-Ta and her boy nursing. With this being World Breast Feeding Week I just wanted to give a shout out to all those Mamas who nursed or who tried to nurse. I know that some people choose not to breast feed, and I am fine with that, as you know the opinions expressed here are my own.
I just want to share the joys that I have been able to experience while I have nursed two babies. When Eddy was born, he and I had a hard time at first working it out, but once we did we were quite a team. He would choke on milk at first until he learned to wait for my let-down. He would nurse to sleep, and when he was learning to walk he fell really hard a few times and just wanted his mama to soothe his pains. Then one day when he was about 17 months old he just stopped, he did not need me anymore. He just woke up one day and realized he was an independent little man and did not want to nurse. I had recently left the "sperm donor" and I went through a sort of post-postpartum depression. I really missed those close times with him and I needed the contact, but he was growing and becoming a very independent young person. As an added bonus of nursing Eddy I was back down to what I weighed in high school!

I met the Anti-Hippie in 04 and was happy with one kiddo and thought that I did not need anymore children. Meanwhile, I touted the benefits of breastfeeding to anyone who would listen. Not many people want to breastfeed, many people think it is gross, it takes too much time, or they are too modest, or they do not want to admit that breast are really naturally designed for babies. I bought breastfeeding books for friends who were having babies and I still tell women I know who are pregnant or are thinking of getting pregnant that I will help them and give them the support that they need if they want to try and breastfeed. (I secretly want to become a lactation consultant and work with new mothers. )I digress, the Anti Hippie and I decided that when we had a baby they would be breastfed, and lo-and-behold we had Baby Gnat last summer and she is still being fed by my wonderful breasts. She is a marathon nurser, she wants to nurse all the time, in her own way. If she could she would nurse all night and all day, in between being nosey about the world around her, she likes to look around while she nurses. With the awesome babysitter I had I was able to pump and nurse at lunch and Baby Gnat was able to have breast milk almost the whole time while at R's house. R even fed Baby Gnat her bottle in a way that was similar to the way that I hold her when she nurses. I sometimes had to supplement with formula due to medication, but otherwise Eddy and Baby Gnat are both breastfed babies.

I want to thank those people who supported me and those who are still supporting me and my decisions. I also want to tell all those Mamas who nursed, who tired nursing, and who are still nursing keep up the good work, and Happy World Breast Feeding Week '08.

Not a Very Good Friend

Dear Earth Muffin,

I really need to apologize for not getting back to you about last Saturday and the Live on the Levee concerts. I really meant to get back to you and tell you that we had a retirement party to go to and that I just really have run out of time this summer. I am really sorry, as I knew that you wanted some time away from your house right now. I never emailed you to tell you that I was not going to make it and we never went to the retirement party because Eddy was not being a very cooperative child and Baby Gnat is teething horribly right now.
I really wished I would have said "Mr. Anti Hippie, you can handle this" and gone to the concert. I am sorry that I never called or emailed.

Please get in touch with me this week so we can plan a "play-date" before we have to get back on schedules and the like!

Love, EBM

Found: Baby Sitter

All this week I have been struggling with the fact that I have to find a baby sitter for Baby Gnat. In fact I have been struggling with this since we left the awesome sitter when the school year ended. I contacted Community Child Care Connections and they emailed me a list of providers in V-Town and G-Town. I called all the providers here in V-Town, and either they were full or they did not answer their phones nor did they call me back when I left a message.
I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to call the names of the providers on the list, in the town south of here. The first person I called had 2 spaces available and I scheduled an interview for last night. I invited Mr. Anti-Hippie to go along, as he did not really like our other sitter. See she was in the process of being licensed and this is the Anti-Hippie's first baby so he was real nervous about her being there, I on the other hand made the executive decision and she went. I loved that sitter she was the greatest. Anyway I digress, we went to the interview last night and Anti-Hippie liked her, her name is Jamie and she has been doing daycare for over 14 years. Her house is nice and seems really kid friendly. I have a good feeling about her, but I still miss R. I did not ask about cloth diapers, but she will do breast milk. Baby Gnat will be the youngest child in her care.
I am very nervous about leaving Gnat with anyone. I feel confident I did make a good choice. I am just worried about all the changes that will be happening the next few weeks. I resigned from my job, I start student teaching on August 18th, Eddy starts school on August 18th, and the Anti Hippie is on his AT with the Navy starting on the 18th. I freak out at change, even more so than a kid would, I resist change, I am scared shit- less of change. But, every new adventure starts somewhere. Right?

You do not live here anymore

Dear Jim and Becki,

You no longer own this house, you sold it to Mr. Anti-Hippie and Earthy Birthy Mama. It is no longer your worry. We have two smaller children and if we want to tear up your old landscaping to make our yard bigger we are going to do so, if we want to rent a skid steer and move piles of dirt, it is our business to do so, if we want to move the rocks we can do so because we now own the house. Please quit driving by to see what we are doing. You are so creeping me out! And while we are at it tell the nosey neighbors to quit calling you every time we move a stick in our yard!

Love, Earthy Birthy Mama new owner of the house in V-Town

You're OUT

I just got the call, he is outta there. I need to take some deep breaths on my way to pick him up. Get this: he was not listening!! Go figure, so much for date night tonight and one more night without him. I am so LIVID right now I could just spit. So off we go to pick him up. He was asked to not come tomorrow for the program, so Earth Muffin I won't be there :(

Letting it Roll off my back

So here is where I usually post something really SNARKY about Crabby Patty, but today I am all grown up and I will not let her get to me. I am letting it roll, roll, roll, right off of my back!!

And it's One, Two, Three Strikes Your Out

Eddy Haskell is at Nature Day camp this week. He is staying with my parents all this week, and he was under direct instruction not to misbehave this week, at camp and at the grandparent's house. Nature camp has a strict discipline policy that states if you get three strikes during the week they will call your parents and you will be asked to leave camp.
When I talked to Eddy on Tuesday he said camp was going well and that he could not wait until next year when the campers get to 'camp out' one night. Well, yesterday Crabby Patty calls me and tells me Eddy has something to tell me, he got two strikes. He failed to mention that one of the strikes he got on Tuesday and the other one he got Wednesday. I was so angry with him, one for being dishonest, as he has the propensity to tell people what they want to hear and two because he is such a smart kid who really should not be getting in to trouble.
So I drove up to my parents house to lecture the kid, on being dishonest and to scare the bejeebers out of him so that he won't get the THIRD strike. I laid it out that he would not be watching television, he would be going to bed early, and he would not get to go to camp early in the morning, he would be arriving at the same time as all the other campers.
So, this morning he and Crabby Patty called me to wish me a Happy Birthday. I reiterated to him once more that he does not have anymore warnings, that the next inappropriate behavior he exhibits will get him kicked out of camp.
Let's hope the phone does not ring today. And boy howdy let's hope that he keeps it in line for the next two days.

My Baby is One

I have not been blogging for the past few days because:
a.) I have been busy
b.) I have been spending time with my family
and c.) Eddy left for camp on Sunday and is staying with my parents.
Yesterday was Baby Gnats first birthday, we actually celebrated it on Sunday with family, all except my parents and grandparents. See we had a party on July 4th for my Grandma's birthday and my mom and grandma gave the baby her gifts on that day. That was fine with me, except my mother Crabby Patty gave the baby an American Girl Doll, she got her Nikki the 2007 American Girl Doll of the year. Nikki is good with animals and is training a dog to be a service dog, very fitting for my mother, but WTF? Baby Gnat cannot play with this doll, not now and probably not ever, this toy is for kids 8 years and older, it says so right on the box, and this doll is not even in production anymore, so will she be worth millions when Baby Gnat is older?? Anyway it is a beautiful doll don't get me wrong, but this is like the time she bought Eddy Haskell a Fiesta Ware Tea party set when he was like 3, and he never got to use it.
Anyway we did have a lovely party the other day, she got some great appropriate outfits for the fall and winter, she got some developmentally appropriate toys that stack and sort, and Aunt Kate made her the coolest book about our back yard. Kate made this book out of fabric and she put the koi, the birds, the turtles, my garden, the dogs, everything is in this book, when I get the camera charged I need to post some pictures of this, it really kicks ass!!
Finally the cake, the cake was a huge success. I cut 3 small seedless watermelons and stacked them on a plate to make a cake of sorts, then I put some whip cream and a candle on the top and ta da, we had ourselves some cake. The baby loved it, and I even let her have the piece with the whipped cream on it and she went to town. It was a lovely party and a lovely time was had by all.
I then took Eddy down the road to meet my dad, Red Green as Eddy is staying on the "farm" for this week while he is at camp. I do miss him, as it is awfully quiet around here.
Yesterday The Anti Hippie and I went to the capital city to do some shopping and Baby Gnat hung out with us all day, I did a play by play for her as to what was happening a year ago, as it was her real birthday. We had a great day and now I cannot believe that I no longer have a baby but a one year old girl!! Happy Birthday.

Mosquitoes

I was under the impression that because we had such a cold winter last year that the bug population would be somewhat diminished. Was I wrong? Apparently. The Mosquitoes here are the size of golf balls and they are ruthless, they bite and bite and bite. My legs are so very bitten right now, it is as if I were a small child again. Eddy Haskell's legs look awful, what with the scabs, the blood dripping onto his socks because he won't stop scratching, and the calamine lotion that I insist he uses.
I go outside to hang up laundry, or to take down laundry, or to water the plants, or to just be outside and I am eaten alive. Now, I have tried: rubbing myself with dryer sheets, dousing myself in Vanilla, dousing myself in Warm Vanilla Sugar body splash from Bath and Body, I bought some citronella spray from our food coop, I tried Off, I have tried Deet free spray, lotions, and homemade potions. Nothing is working, my face and neck are not safe from the mosquitoes wrath. As I have posted earlier I love being outside, although right now I am considering wearing full body armor when I venture outside.

My Name is Earthy Birthy Mama and I have an addiction

I love plants. I cannot stop buying plants. It all started several years ago when Eddy Haskell and I still lived with my parents. My dad, Red Green, being a true naturalist did not want non native flowers planted at his house so I started some container gardens. My first containers were very simple, geraniums, marigolds, and some petunias. The next year I had some containers of impatiens, some geraniums, some chamomile, and some cannas. When I moved in with the Anti-Hippie he and Eddy bought me some planters and various annuals for Mother's Day. Over the years I have planted numerous annuals and now some perennials. I usually start buying plants at the annual FFA plant sale at a local high school, then I visit various nurseries, this one being my favorite. I spend a lot of money on these plants, but my flowers are gorgeous. I also spend a lot of time watering, feeding, and pruning the plants. I know I need to stop, as most won't last through the bitter harsh winters of the mid-west, but I can't. Actually I can because I am out of potting soil, and containers to put the plants in, I actually used an old tool box as a planter a few days ago, because I was out of containers. The Anti-Hippie says it has to stop as well, although I could have other habits that are far worse. When I get some time I will post some pictures of my favorites.

Poop

This afternoon after Baby Gnat went swimming in her kiddie pool in the drive way and after she had eaten I laid her down for a nap. (She is still taking 2 naps a day!) I usually let her cry herself to sleep, I heard crying then I heard nothing. I got Eddy Haskell and his friend ADHD a snack as they had been busy playing video games. I heard the most blood curling screams from the pack n play where Baby Gnat was supposed to be napping. I poked my head inside to tell her that everything was alright, and what did I see? A naked baby girl covered from head to toe in poop. She managed to get her diaper off, whether this was before or after her poop I will never know. There was poop on the netting part of the pack n play, there was poop in between her toes, there was poop in her hair, there was poop everywhere. I guess letting the babe nap in only her diaper was a big mistake.
I promptly put her in the shower and cleaned her off, then I put on a fresh diaper and put her into the excer-saucer so that I could clean up the pack n play. I stripped the sheet and then took the pack n play outside and hosed that sucker off. I am here alone with the kids today because Mr. Anti Hippie had to work. Lucky guy! So now the pack n play is out drying in the warm sunshine, and I am having a beer.

I am not trying to be a bad mother

Next week Baby Gnat will turn one. I have no desire to have a big ass birthday party. The night she entered the world it was just the Anti-Hippie and myself, so I see that it is only fitting that we quietly celebrate the day that she came into this world. I am planning on having a few close relatives come over and eat some water-melon, and that is about it. I am not purchasing a "Dive Cake", a cake that a baby can get messy with, I am not making a cake. The girl absolutely loves water melon so that is what I will be serving.
I am not against having a party, but parties for babies are really for the parents and the grandparents. She will not remember it, although I am sure there will be lots of photographs taken. She is very special to her family, but we are not having a big party for her. I am sure that her cousin who was born two weeks after her, will have a big she-bang of a party, but I am not that baby's mother. I think that we might have a place where guests can write the baby a sweet note that I will tuck into her baby book. I know that this is my decision, but I just got a call from Aunt Duckie and she wanted to know about the party. So next Sunday you are all invited to my house for some watermelon and a real happening PARTY!!

WTF? Wednesday

#1. WTF Eddy Haskell? Are you going through puberty right now? Do you have to sass me and back talk me, and get the last word in all the time? Come on kid, I know having a sibling who takes all my attention away is not 'cool' with you, but kid you get to do everything your little heart desires. You get all the freedom in the world, just check in with me every so often so that I know that you are okay. Could you please cut out the BS, could you please just stop whining, and for crying out loud could you please stop back-talking me, or you will be in your room for the rest of the summer, enough said.

#2. WTF Mr. Anti Hippie? I know you and Eddy needed a hair-cut today, but did you have to come with me down to co-op pick up? I needed to go to B-Town for co-op pick up, then to WR to the credit union, then to BH to the grocery store to buy some meat, as I had an awesome coupon for like $10.00 off, then it was back home. I could have run all those errands in like 3 hours, but no. You needed a hair cut, which meant, that we go to co-op pick up, then to the credit union, then you are hungry so we stop at Sgt. Peppers for brunch, then you just want to look at the welding torches, so we stop, then we go get the meat, then Baby and I wait in the hot car for you and Eddy to get hair cuts, and then we take the long way home, because you want to look at the spillway at the lake. Mainly, because you want to take Eddy fishing there. Then we get home, and you are sooo hungry, and your stomach hurts. Okay next time go get a hair cut with out me, I hate being in a car when I cannot drive, so thanks but no thanks, I will drive myself.

#3. WTF Mother? So as I already mentioned I got these great coupons from the little grocery store, in the town in which I used to reside in. They still have a butcher who cuts all the meat, Wednesdays are the best days to get meat, so this being Wednesday and it is on the way I planned on stopping. Which brings me back to my original point, I had previously asked Crabby Patty to get me my meat, she lives really close to this grocery, and she shops there often. I kept on telling her, use the coupons and get me some 'riblets'. Well she had never heard of them, were they really called ribs, or spare ribs, or something else? No Mother, they are called riblets and I bought them all by myself and used the coupons, so there.

#4. WTF Summer Vacation? It seems as if I only started this vacation a few weeks ago, and really I did. But, I cannot believe that it is July 9th already. I always get panicked by July 4th, I know that it is the downward spiral towards the end of summer, yet I still have a ton of shit that is still on my "To Do List". So Summer vacation please slow down, I have just a little over a month left and then you will be gone. Please slow down, I have yet to take the kids to the pool!

Honey Do

Today it is kinda wet outside to Eddy Haskell and Mr. Anti-Hippie cannot mow the grass, I however have found many things on my honey do list that my boys can do:

• Take Tubs of clothes to attic

• Hang some stuff

• Make beds

• Clean House for company

• Get all laundry to laundryroom

Thanks, Earthy Birthy Mama

Tick, going for the gold

Last night when I went in the bathroom to get ready for a shower, I noticed that I might be getting an ingrown hair, in my nether regions. I am quite limber so I put my foot up on the sink to get a better look. Guess what I found?
A teeny tiny baby tick had attached itself to my nether region. Of course I thought, it is warm and moist here, why not. I did not panic, but once I figured out the cause of all of my discomfort, it did make me feel a little squeamish. I tried all the home remedies that I knew to try and get it to pull his little head out, I smothered him in Vasaline, I smothered him in soap, I wiped him with isopropyl alcohol, I painted him with finger nail polish, and yet the little bugger did not pull his head out. By the time Mr. Anti-Hippie got home the tick bite really itched and my neck hurt from bending at such an angle. Mr. Anti-Hippie went right to work on helping me out, not to mention he kinda likes hanging out down there. Unfortunately when he tried to remove said tick, the tick was too small and he only got the body.
As of right now I am alternating between lemon and potato slices to try and draw the head out, the lemon is oh so fresh!! I am a very nature oriented person, so ticks do not surprise me, but ticks going for the GOLD, do!

WTF Eddy Haskel

Well, Eddy did it again. He put something in his ear. Yeah he is nine years old and knows better, but he did it any way. He previously put a pearl button in his ear, when he was like 2 years old. Well, the bean in his ear must have been bothering him for a while, at first I thought it was a bug. I called my MIL who is a nurse, and asked her for the otoscope. She had let Aunt Ducky (they have a pet duck) borrow it, and she had not returned it. So I googled "things in ears" and I came up with some pretty disgusting pictures, try it sometime. None the less, the internet suggested that I use a bulb syringe and some warm water to flush it out, and I be damned if a bean/seed did not come out of his ear.
So the next time you see my boy and he has earmuffs on in the middle of the summer you'll know why.

Baby Sitter , copied from Earth Muffin

As posted over at The Land of Earth Muffin, here are some reasons why the babysitter rocked:

1. As a mother of a newborn baby, the babysitter did everything I asked. From holding her a certain way when she fed Baby Gnat her bottles of breast milk, to having her ready to go the minute I walked in the door. With our busy schedule, the babysitter knew that some days I was in a hurry.
2. As mentioned by Earth Muffin she was willing to use cloth diapers. This was a big selling point for me. She sacked the diapers up each night for me to take home and wash. This saved me loads of cash.
3. The babysitter was not that expensive considering all my requests. She was $25 a day, or $100 a week, so if the baby went the whole week I got Fridays for free. Looked into sending her to TTLC, which is a pre-school day care center just a few more blocks away, and they would not do cloth diapers, breast milk, and since she was not potty trained and was in diapers it was like $175 a week, with a three day minimum. Well Mr. Anti Hippie's work schedule is so crazy there would be some weeks where the baby would attend the whole week and some weeks where she would only need care one or two days.
4. My final reasons can be summed up into one last number. The babysitter knew what it was like to be a working mother. I also came at lunches to feed the baby. I too had a nice quite place to sit and nurse. Finally, the babysitter is just a genuinely nice person, one of the nicest that I know. I will miss her, as I am looking for a new sitter because of our recent move. I know that the new sitter probably will not let me use cloth diapers, and I know because of work obligations that I will not be coming on my lunch to nurse. Babysitter, thank you. Thank you for caring for Baby Gnat as if she were your own. I miss you and I recommend you to anyone who will listen.

I know

I know why I get so frustrated with my mother. It is because I always think of ways to tell her off way after she has left. I know why Mr. Anti Hippie seems so stand offish when she is around, it is because he has to pick up the pieces when she leaves, when she leaves me in a tizzy. I so wish I could just tell her that I am hostile because she is the main reason I left for Alaska 11 years ago, she is the main reason why Baby Gnat does not like her, she is the main reason why I started my period yesterday, after 19 months of not having one, Sunday morning I woke up feeling shitty. In fact, I still feel really crampy right now.

Dear Mother,

I am your daughter, you raised me to respect my elders which is why I cannot tell you to your face that you frustrate me so much, and that I moved up here because I wanted to. I love you, but I am not your BFF, I am your daughter. You should relish in the fact that I love my husband dearly, and we still sleep in the same bed, I love my Eddy Haskel not because he looks like Uncle Nascar, but because I worked my ass off to make a better life for he and I. I also love Baby Gnat, no matter how spoiled she is, I love her because Mr. Anti-Hippie and I created this beautiful life together. Oh yeah and one more thing, I want more babies. No, I do not want to be bare foot and pregnant, but I still feel like I want more children.
I really wonder what you when home and told dad the other night when you left my house, with the beer. You should be proud of me for going to school, being responsible, managing a house, and our money. Mr. Anti-Hippie and I really worked on our relationship last year when you were not talking to me, I found that if I went directly to him with the problems that we were having, the problems seemed to get fixed, we are grown, responsible adults. I still am a strong woman, and no I do not need a man to complete me, but he is my best friend and lover, he and the kids are what makes me strong, not to mention all the other hurdles that I have had to cross to get here, where I am.
I am comfortable with my life, I am not you, I will never be you. I do not ever want to be you, yes you did a great job, but cut the freaking apron strings. Have I not shown you that I can be an adult, have I not shown you that I am a fully capable person.

Love, Your Daughter Earthy Birthy Mama

P.S. thanks for not calling me today

My Yard Sale (Beer)

I have finally recovered from the yard sale, it was a lot of work, but we managed to get rid of a ton of stuff. It all began when we moved into this house. As I have spoken of before, it is really large but I do not feel that it needs to be filled with clutter and things. I have been gathering items to have in the yard sale since before we moved here, yes I know I actually moved those items, but I knew that I might be able to make some money from them. So last week Auntie Katie and I started pricing and arranging stuff in the garage, as we actually were not having the sale inside the garage, but in the big drive way just off of the garage. Well we moved some of the Anti-Hippie's stuff, and we never heard the end of it.
We got all of our items priced and were prepared for the sale which we were going to have for two days. Thursday my mother came up because she was selling some of her Longaberger Baskets at my sale. She came up a day early because she had sent out invitations inviting all of her friends to come up to my house to look at her baskets, she used to sell the damn things in the late eighties and nineties, then she quit because she did not like the direction the company was going, don't ask. She came up with beer and snacks, in hopes of selling some of her baskets. See she is now into making her own baskets and the profit from this sale was going to help her pay for the basket making work-shops. Needless to say I was having a yard sale and people were looking for bargains, not baskets that were actually priced at Bentley Book value. Anyway I digress.
Katie and I set up for the yard sale on Friday morning, and we were quite surprised with the amount of people that came considering that it was a week day. We had some really interesting items in the sale, 3 big wooden boxes that really looked like pirate's treasure chests, 3 reel to reel recorders from the United States Navy that belonged to my SIL's father, a head stone that I found in my landscaping, silk clip on ties from the seventies, the list goes on and on. Well Auntie Katie kept moving stuff up to this one spot and we kept on timing how long it would take to sell once an item was placed in this one spot. There was a carpet cleaner that sold within 15 minutes of being placed in this spot, the treasure chest sold with in a half and hour of being placed in this spot, and the head stone with Jesus and the lambs sold with in 5 minutes of placing it in that spot. I have no idea where the head stone came from nor the purpose of the head stone, I found it under some vines in the landscaping, it was granite and Jesus and some lambs were on it, there was no writing, and it was not marking a pet cemetery. Like I have posted on here before, the previous owner of this house had quite an extensive rock collection, I wonder if this "stone" was part of his collection. The people that bought the stone had just lost a horse that they had as a pet for the past 19 years, so they were going to use the stone for a marker for their beloved pet. I personally thought the stone was creepy and I am glad it sold in the sale.
One of the funniest items that sold was a mock, mock turtle neck. Auntie Katie and I were sorting clothes and she made a comment about the mock turtle neck inside of a mock turtle neck and I could not stop laughing. So Friday morning while some customers were shopping I was telling my mom about the mock turtle neck that was a double mock turtle neck, and I started to laugh again, then this lady picked it up and said "well I like this, I think I want it" that prompted me to say "well I guess I cannot make fun of it anymore.
So all in all it was a good sale I made some money, my mom made me crazy, and Auntie Katie kept me sane. My mom left yesterday after the sale and she actually sold some of her baskets, but she took her beer home with her. What kind of stingy person actually does that, if I put beer in someone's fridge and there is some left after we have partied, I usually leave it there, unless they do not drink my flavor of beer. I went in to cool off after cleaning up and the beer was gone out of my fridge, she used my house for her sale, she used my sale to sell her shit, but she took her beer. WTF???