Holy Shit Where Did the Week Go?

Well I have two MeMes from Earth Muffin that I have to do, as well as a ton of other shit so that all must wait until the weekend. But I have a ton of other shit to get off my chest so here goes.

I took Baby Gnat to the Doctor this week as she needed a physical for the new babysitter. Well... um.... I am a great, wonderful, loving caring, outstanding mother but I have not kept up on her immunizations. Like, she has not had any since she left the hospital the day she was born. Now I am not trying to be radical in not immunizing my child, but for crying out loud Doctor. Do not belittle me for not doing so, she is my child and I am SUPER busy and actually we do not go to the Doctor that often so getting her immunized was not my top priority. Also, public health clinic please do not talk down to me, I am not PWT (poor white trash), and when I decline the MMR because I would like to find a Green Doctor who will give the MMR in three separate shots please do not announce to the whole group of people waiting in line that "SHE DECLINED THE MMR" while you are shouting across the room to the nurse who is setting up what vaccinations Baby Gnat will be getting. See the county Public Health Service has a clinic at various locales throughout the county on various days of the week, their set up so that when you walk in the door you sign in and get the necessary paper work filled out for the vaccinations you need, then they tell the nurse across the room what she needs to get out, then you walk across the room (this happened to be a fellowship hall at a tiny church), and you get the said shots. I am not a criminal because I didn't have my vaccines up to date. Also Doctor, if I choose to not feed Baby Gnat meat until she is older, that is okay too. She is getting all the protein she needs from my BOOBS, and from the various vegetables and dairy products that I feed her. She eats tofu, she eats beans, I eat nuts and meat. I think her dietary intake of protein is satisfactory. And no, Crabby Patty I am not starting some radical movement by not vaccinating my kid. Like I said MY KID.

Okay on to less bitchier things. I love my cooperating teacher, Pete. She has already let me teach some lessons, which have gone great. I like my class of Third Graders, they are so eager to learn and think that it is really neat that I am still in school and that they get to have 2 teachers until December. They actually listen to me and respect me like they should. YIPEE.

I bought a book that is helping me deal with Eddy's health issues and that is going GREAT. Three days of being TOTALLY CLEAN!!! He is actually behaving himself while the Anti-Hippie has been gone, and I can see that he is really trying to help me. He is a great kid with tons of potential to be a wonderful adult, and I love him dearly, I hope we are on the road to recovery and we have turned over a new leaf.

I still have not found before or after school care for Eddy but Baby Gnat's sitter is really working out. She is very patient with the fact that Baby Gnat is having some separation anxiety right now, and was so excited about Baby Gnat taking her first steps on Wednesday at her house. That makes me sad that I was not there, but I am happy it happened at Jamie's house.

I miss the Anti-Hippie so much, but when he leaves for two weeks it gives me time to assert some of my independence. I feel empowered, (I feel empowered when he is here, but right now it is just me, I have the 2 kids and I am responsible for EVERYTHING). I also am not washing 17 loads of laundry a day, nor am I washing dishes every night. I miss him and can't wait to F*** his brains out when he gets home, but being here alone reminds me how lucky I am than I have such a good guy whom is not bothered by helping out equally with housework or child rearing.

Well it seems like this week just flew by, and not that I am hoping my life away but let the next 14 weeks go by equally as fast so that I can be finished with this student teaching and I can work on getting my own classroom, or at least a job!

WHEW!

My cooperating teacher cusses like a sailor and drinks beer!! My cooperating teacher whom I'll call Peter (even though she is a girl), is very nice. What was I worrying about? We have 23 third graders in a school that is less than 5 years old. So everything is new, it still looks new, smells new, and makes for a wonderful learning environment. Peter seems really cool and we ate lunch in a diner today owned by some DEADHEADS, it was way cool. Peter is willing to let me have whatever materials I need and do whatever I need to do. I am so relieved. This might just be a wonderful learning experience.

The babysitter whom I'll call Smith, is also wonderful. Baby Gnat seemed to really take to her. She took her naps at the appropriate times and was well behaved. Smith also agreed to use cloth diapers, whooohooo!! Which saves me some cash, as I will be cash strapped very soon. Also, one of my ex-boyfriends little girl goes to Smith's. When we interviewed Smith she asked me if I knew Gretchen Wilson (that is my ex-boyfriends ex-wife, he started dating her shortly after we broke up). I told Smith that I knew Gretchen (that is really who she looks like). Well today when I pulled up, I noticed this red haired little girl, and I knew right away who she was even though I never met her, because she looks just like the ex's brother Joey. Anyway Gretchen and Jake got divorced last year sometime, and I know this because I read it in the local paper, and Gretchen is a single mom with this little girl. Gretchen did not get a teaching job this year, but needed work and a sitter so they are back at Smith's house.

Anyway, all in all a good day. I really have nothing to be worried about, except Eddy's child care situation. I did call the day care center here in town and got on their wait list and I put an ad in the paper for a teenager who could come before and after school to watch Eddy. I hope this works, until then he is at my FIL's.

Hope everyone else had a good Monday or First Day Back at School.

Good Bye Summer

Good Bye Summer. I really enjoyed you this year, though I really miss the pool from our old house. See, if I still had the pool, I could hang on to summer just a bit longer, but I digress.


Things I really enjoyed this summer:

• Not having to get up early
• Reading the newspaper and refilling my coffee cup several times while reading and doing the puzzles
• My Garden
• My Flowers
• Watching my kids have fun and enjoy the summer (except for that time Eddy got kicked out of camp)
• My new bike
• Sewing ( this will be a future Blog post, some things I made need buttons)
• Canning vegetables from Garden
• Baby Gnat turning one
• Spending time with the Anti Hippie
• Some of the nice weather we have been having
• Good Books

So, good bye summer, I will catch you on the flip side. Thanks for coming this year. Talk to you later. EBM

Vindicated

I now feel vindicated. My Mother in Law Not Crabby Patti did not have a wonderful time in California like I previously mentioned. In fact she had a horrible time, Aunt Duckie was hormonal for the whole trip and Aunt Not So Earthy Birthy is not on her meds and was totally manic for the whole trip. The nieces and nephews are wild as ever, so I feel vindicated.

Also everyone apologized for Flakin' on me. Not Crabby Patti can help out with Eddy before school, if we need her and FIL felt really bad about not being able to help out. See his mother took care of The Anti Hippie and his three siblings when they were growing up because FIL worked all the time and Not Crabby Patti did not have custody of her 4 kids (another story for another time). Anyways everyone felt bad for Flakin' on me. But we still need to resolve the before and after school care issues for Eddy.

Maybe this too will work itself out. I feel better, I feel VINDICATED.

Why's Everbody Always Flakin' On Me?

Today I had a really important meeting about my student teaching and weeks ago I asked MIL to watch the kids, she even got out her calendar and wrote us down. Well earlier this week after she got back from seeing her favorite son in California I emailed her asking her if we were still on for her babysitting the kids while I went to my really important meeting. She emailed me back and said that she did not have us written in her calendar and that she could not babysit my kids. Crabby Patty ended up babysitting and she and Baby Gnat got along fabulously, so that worked out.

Okay MIL I get it, you are upset with me over something I did or said, and instead of telling me to my face, you are going to pretend that I did not give you all the information for the date that I needed you and instead of just telling me 'no, I can't' or 'no, I do not want to', you are going to make it look like I made the mistake about the babysitting schedule. GREAT, WONDERFUL, FREAKING FABULOUS.

Now, I am also dealing with some MAJOR behavior issues with Eddy these days, and we are really thinking something is physiologically WRONG with him and we are considering counseling and even medication. I am even considering military schools, because I have had it with his behaviors. I think there is something really wrong with him and I won't go into details because I am still going through the stages of grief. Right now I am at BLAMING.

So, we had it all worked out that Eddy would go over to my FIL's house before and after school. My FIL lives really close to the school and Eddy could walk or ride his bike to and from school. WELL, my FIL told The Anti Hippie TONIGHT (FRIDAY NIGHT) that he does not trust Eddy and he would prefer it if we could find other arrangements for Eddy for before and after school. FIL is just too busy with his ever expanding business to have to watch Eddy before and after school. Now, I get it I know Eddy cannot be trusted, he lies, he steals, he gets carried away, he won't stop, he is defiant, and he has some other problems. But he waited until tonight to tell us that he just can't help us, he just can't watch Eddy, and that we need to look into getting Eddy some psychological help and we need to look into getting Eddy before and after school care.

I am in tears right now, The Anti Hippie is out of town for his 2 week stint with the military and I am starting the most important part of my schooling right now, and I am supposed to find CHILD CARE over the WEEKEND.

WELL, HELLS BELLS!


I hope this gets better.

Praise the Lord

I was talking to Crabby Patty on the phone the other day, and some how the topic of who was going to take care of her in the event of something happening to my father. {I do not wish my dad any harm, I am just sayin' that my mom will probably live to be 108} Anyways she said, yeah I figured I go down and live with Uncle NASCAR in North Carolina if any thing happened to your dad.

WOOOOHOOO!!!! I am so happy for Uncle Nascar.

WTF Wednesday

Okay I cannot sleep so this is technically posted on Thursday morning but WTF.

WTF Summer Vacation?
Where did you go? You came on so slow, by the beginning of May I was wondering if you would ever make your appearance. Now I only have a few precious days left, and they are flying by. I really enjoyed our time together, reading books, blogging, swimming, gardening, sleeping late, being lazy drinking too much wine, but soon you will be but a fleeting memory. This was not the best summer on record, but WTF why did you have to pass through so quickly?

WTF Laundry?
Dear Laundry Pile, go away! Love, EBM I mean seriously how do you get so big, I wash you and sometimes hang you out on the new clothes line, or toss you into the dryer, and I fold you. But, you keep on coming back. Is it the people here? Do they use a clean towel every time they shower? I use my towel at least three times if not more before I put it in the laundry. Is it the messy eating baby? I try and feed her with a bib on or I strip her to her diaper. Is it the smelly boy that lives here? Oh laundry please learn to wash your self.

WTF Neighbor Boys?
I am not an irresponsible parent, although on occasion I do let Eddy run free through out the neighbor hood, so what's up with all the boys here in the 'hood thinking its okay to come to the door and ask where Eddy is? First of all this normally happens when Baby Gnat is sleeping and secondly get on your damn bike and ride around and find him. Right now the 17 year locust are out and he is looking for them. It is not my day to keep track of him. {I really do keep track of him}

WTF Squirrels?
The Bird feeders are not for you, I put out cobs of field corn just for you. You know on those silly little seats? You are not letting the birds eat! Please, kindly move your fat asses up to the cobs on the tree. You look so cute sitting in the little chair eating your corn or trying to eat it off of that spinning thing.

WTF Poison Ivy or itchy rash all over Eddy?
The other night after Eddy mowed all the yards with the Anti Hippie he came in before bed and was scratching up a storm. I chalked it up to mowing the grass, gave him a Benadryl, told him to quit stalling, and sent him to bed. Well Tuesday morning he comes to breakfast and his face is swollen and he has a redish rash all over his neck, stomach, penis, and butt. I call the Dr. and upon seeing him pronounced it poison ivy. Dr. gave us a script for prednisolone. It seems to be clearing up but maybe not. Eddy hates taking any kind of medicine so this has been a real treat. We have gone the whole summer without getting any sort of itchy scratchy rash so WTF? Right before the craziest week of this year starts Eddy gets a itchy scratchy rash? ahhh

Putting Corn By

I am canning and putting food by, all this week. Mother Nature knew this was going to begin the craziest week in my life (important meetings (3), school starts, student teaching starts, Eddy starts 4th grade, Baby Gnat starts new baby sitter, and Anti Hippie leaves for his 2 week AT with the Navy) so she decides that it is time for Earthy Birthy to harvest her garden. Every time I walk near the garden, I see more ripe tomatoes. I will be canning those bad boys tomorrow. But tonight I put some fresh sweet corn by. The title of this post and the idea of putting food by came from this book probably the BEST book for canning and putting food by ever written.
When I was a little girl, I always helped Ma and Pa Kettle (new names for Crabby Patty and Red Green) harvest the garden. When I was older I not only got to harvest but stay up and help put food by, I remember one really hot summer and Pa was gone and Ma and I canned 35 quarts of tomatoes and it was so hot by the end of the night I was in my bra peeling and coring tomatoes. That was way before children and way before they moved out to the prairie.
This year with the cost of food, I thought that I might put some food by, I always can tomatoes but this year I have sort of a bumper crop of corn so tonight I put 7 cups of corn by, and come next January when the nights are cold, I will get to enjoy the fruits of my labor.


Three rows of Illini Sweet corn behind the 'tall as can be' sun flowers [aka the tall as fuck sun flowers].

Shucked corn cleaned in sink, waiting for water on stove to boil.
Said water getting ready to boil, you wouldn't know it but boiling water makes for a hot kitchen.
Supplies: sharp knife, water for hydration, wine for libation, and cookbook for the blanching times, as I cannot find my copy of Putting Food By.

Corn in water 'returning' to boil.
Corn out of boiling water and into cold water to cool rapidly.
7 cups of corn in freezer waiting for January and the next batch due later this week.

I know I blog about how much my Ma drives me crazy, but she did teach me important lessons in her kitchen and in her garden. I am proud that I can Put Food By and that I learned how to do it from her. If you want to help out tomorrow with the tomatoes let me know, I have two sharp pairing knives and some cold beers to share.

My Flowers in Picture Form

Koi Pond, minus 50 or so fish. Last week we got rid of all but 10 fish, the pond is quite beautiful.



Corn plant, on my back porch. I moved all the house plants outside to the back porch and they are thriving!




This one is called a Lime Zinger and the picture does not do the color justice. It is the prettiest green I have ever seen.




Hostas that are grown in a container, it too is thriving!




Begonias.



Impatients




Tallest ever Sunflowers. They are at least 12 feet tall.




Lantanna, so pretty


Container Herb garden.

Thoughts on being honest

Eddy Haskel is not the Anti Hippies' biological son. Before we got married the Anti Hippie and I discussed the adoption and felt it was the natural thing to do. Eddy did not know his biological father, and before he was two his biological father gave up parental rights and we had Eddy's last name changed to my last name. Eddy never questioned where is father was so it was never an issue for me.

The Anti Hippie and I thought that Eddy should come to the court house on the day of the adoption so that it would seem more formal in his little mind. Having never done this before I was unaware that the biological father's name would be mentioned throughout the court proceedings, several times. I worried myself sick on the way home from the courthouse about how many questions I would get from Eddy about said biological father. On the way home the boys found a turtle and all the questions never happened because of the turtle excitement. Several weeks later I sent out this email to friends and family as a script that they were supposed to follow if and when Eddy had questions.

Script:
A long time ago before Eddy Haskel was born Earthy Birthy Mama lived in Alaska, she had a baby there and his name was Eddy. Earthy Birthy Mama and Eddy lived in Alaska for a while. Earthy Birthy Mama was not being treated very nicely by a guy named Biological Father, who is Eddy's biological father. Earthy Birthy Mama called Crabby Patty and Red Green (her parents) and said that she wanted to leave and come live with them, because if Biological Father was not treating her right he probably would not treat baby Eddy very nicely either. So Crabby Patty and Red Green let Earthy Birthy Mama and Eddy live with them. Earthy Birthy Mama and Biological Father went to court and Biological Father left the court, because he did not like Eddy's Grandma Crabby Patty and Grandpa Red Green. Earthy Birthy Mama waited and waited until she met a really nice guy named the Anti Hippie. Earthy Birthy Mama and the Anti Hippie got married and the Anti Hippie became Eddy's dad when they adopted Eddy on June 14, 2006. The Anti Hippie is Eddy's Dad.

See, Eddy is a sneak and he could possibly blindside someone into giving out information that could quite possibly create a web of problems for me. So in my email I told friends and family to stick to the 'script' and if there were questions that they could not possibly answer that they should let me know and I would take care of the situation.

Everyone has been cool with the script thing, until tonight. Eddy was prying me for information, and I told him everything. I told him that I made mistakes, but he was not a mistake. I was mistreated and abused and that his biological father was not very nice. I even showed him pictures that I had been saving of what his Biological father looked like. I figured he would like me better in the long run if I was honest. We had a real frank conversation about my feelings on his biological father, and why I made choices. I made it clear that some of my choices were not right, or fair, or even legal, but they were my choices. I asked him if he had any questions and he wanted to know if I married the Anti Hippie because he was the opposite of his father? I told Eddy that the Anti Hippie respects me as a person, as a woman, as a partner, and loves me for who I am. The Anti-Hippie also loves Eddy with his whole heart as if he were Eddy's biological father and that is why we are so tough on him. That is why we expect him to be the best, because in our eyes he is the best. Eddy is the best mistake I ever made.

So being honest with Eddy tonight made me feel better. I feel like I have fewer skeletons in my closet, I feel like I don't have to be angry anymore about decisions that I made for the betterment of my family. It is time to let go of the anger I feel towards Biological Father and let Eddy become the person he is supposed to be, with the father that really truly loves him.

Open letter to White Trash Babysitter

Dear White Trash Teenage Babysitters at the Pool,

Hey Girls, you looked really hot today in your brassieres (bras) that you were wearing as bikini tops. Did you know that the little boy crying at the gate of the baby pool was in your care today? The weather here is hot as an oven, we are under a heat warning for Pete's Sake. Yeah I know we are at the pool but you can still get dehydrated in the water and you can sure as heck get sun poisoning. Maybe he was crying because he was hungry, tired, or thirsty. I am sure his white trash mama gave you some money to buy him something from the vending machines at the pool. You looked really refreshed drinking that cold Mountain Dew, from the vending machines.
Oh, you did not see him crying? Is that because you were on your phone or because you were too wrapped up in your ghetto talk with your other friend to notice, the crying tired little boy standing at the gate of the baby pool. Yeah you girls sounded so ghetto to me, like you came straight out of the hood, or in our town I think we call it the Trailer Park.
I am sure you would have noticed that the other Mamas and Grand-mamas at the pool kept on giving you dirty looks if you would have put down the phone. You would have also heard us saying stuff to the little boy like "honey I am sure your mama will be here soon" and "did you eat any lunch today?" and best of all "honey who is supposed to be watching you, why are you all alone in here?"
Well White Trash Babysitter you were too preoccupied with whatever it is that you were doing to notice, but I did. Did you get a date with CJ, KJ, or TJ ? Couldn't help overhearing your conversations, as you were talking on your phone while sitting in the baby pool. Your bra tan lines look fabulous, but I wouldn't let you watch my freakin' lizards!

Yours, EBM

Happy World Breast Feeding Week

Baby Eddy Haskell and Earthy Birthy Mama circa July 1999


I just visited Mamac-Ta's blog and there is the most beautiful picture of Mamac-Ta and her boy nursing. With this being World Breast Feeding Week I just wanted to give a shout out to all those Mamas who nursed or who tried to nurse. I know that some people choose not to breast feed, and I am fine with that, as you know the opinions expressed here are my own.
I just want to share the joys that I have been able to experience while I have nursed two babies. When Eddy was born, he and I had a hard time at first working it out, but once we did we were quite a team. He would choke on milk at first until he learned to wait for my let-down. He would nurse to sleep, and when he was learning to walk he fell really hard a few times and just wanted his mama to soothe his pains. Then one day when he was about 17 months old he just stopped, he did not need me anymore. He just woke up one day and realized he was an independent little man and did not want to nurse. I had recently left the "sperm donor" and I went through a sort of post-postpartum depression. I really missed those close times with him and I needed the contact, but he was growing and becoming a very independent young person. As an added bonus of nursing Eddy I was back down to what I weighed in high school!

I met the Anti-Hippie in 04 and was happy with one kiddo and thought that I did not need anymore children. Meanwhile, I touted the benefits of breastfeeding to anyone who would listen. Not many people want to breastfeed, many people think it is gross, it takes too much time, or they are too modest, or they do not want to admit that breast are really naturally designed for babies. I bought breastfeeding books for friends who were having babies and I still tell women I know who are pregnant or are thinking of getting pregnant that I will help them and give them the support that they need if they want to try and breastfeed. (I secretly want to become a lactation consultant and work with new mothers. )I digress, the Anti Hippie and I decided that when we had a baby they would be breastfed, and lo-and-behold we had Baby Gnat last summer and she is still being fed by my wonderful breasts. She is a marathon nurser, she wants to nurse all the time, in her own way. If she could she would nurse all night and all day, in between being nosey about the world around her, she likes to look around while she nurses. With the awesome babysitter I had I was able to pump and nurse at lunch and Baby Gnat was able to have breast milk almost the whole time while at R's house. R even fed Baby Gnat her bottle in a way that was similar to the way that I hold her when she nurses. I sometimes had to supplement with formula due to medication, but otherwise Eddy and Baby Gnat are both breastfed babies.

I want to thank those people who supported me and those who are still supporting me and my decisions. I also want to tell all those Mamas who nursed, who tired nursing, and who are still nursing keep up the good work, and Happy World Breast Feeding Week '08.

Not a Very Good Friend

Dear Earth Muffin,

I really need to apologize for not getting back to you about last Saturday and the Live on the Levee concerts. I really meant to get back to you and tell you that we had a retirement party to go to and that I just really have run out of time this summer. I am really sorry, as I knew that you wanted some time away from your house right now. I never emailed you to tell you that I was not going to make it and we never went to the retirement party because Eddy was not being a very cooperative child and Baby Gnat is teething horribly right now.
I really wished I would have said "Mr. Anti Hippie, you can handle this" and gone to the concert. I am sorry that I never called or emailed.

Please get in touch with me this week so we can plan a "play-date" before we have to get back on schedules and the like!

Love, EBM