Photo Shoot

Sometimes I feel like I am a really lucky person. We had been planning a 'photo shoot' for a long time, with my SIL Shelly Belly, she suggested that we do it on an overcast day as I wanted the pictures taken outside on my lawn. Friday the 13th, Shelly Belly came over to take said pictures. The kids cleaned up sort of well, and had on complimenting shirts from the Gap, BO(RED) and INSPI(RED). I was thinking this was going to be a big pain, but surprisingly it turned out great. Thanks Shelly Belly you really captured my kids, and now I have art for my wall.

Happy Father's Day

Dear Mr. Anti-Hippie,

Happy Father's Day. I am very happy that you adopted Eddy and that we had Baby Gnat together. You are the best dad that our two kids could have. You are patient, kind, caring, firm yet fun, not hot headed (like Earthy Birthy Mama), and most of all loving.

Thank you and I love you,

Earthy Birthy Mama

Uncle NASCAR, A Real Momma's Boy

My brother Uncle Nascar and I have this love hate relationship. I hate him because he always gets away with it, he loves me because I am an easy target and I always take his bait. My brother was in a serious car accident over 8 years ago. He was probably drunk, and he fell asleep at the wheel and rolled his mini-van, and suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). So the brother that I grew up with no longer exists.
Uncle Nascar believes he is the only one, the only one who has to work, who has to pay taxes, who has a mortgage, and who has to put up with the daily BS called life. He is the only one who works overtime, drives in traffic, shops at Wal-Mart, and listens to FOX News. He calls all the time to tell me how hard he is working, and how tough life is. But get this he is 28 years old, he lives in North Carolina and my Mother calls him every morning to wake him up. She gets up, even on the weekends and calls him and makes sure he is up so that he can go to work. I can't stand this, he is an adult, capable of purchasing alarm clocks, yet his mommy calls him every morning to wake him up.
Uncle Nascar moved to North Carolina because a friend of his lived down there, or so he says. I really cannot figure out why he moved down there, other than he likes NASCAR and he is far away from our parents. When I left home I moved to Alaska, 3000 miles away.
Uncle Nascar used to live in Illinois, and used to go to shows with me. I liked going and seeing some Hippy Bands every now and then and since I was single, I used to ask him to go with, just because I am nice. Well going to shows with me was an excuse to drink, because I would stay sober so that a.) we did not get mugged in down town St. Louis, b.) because I dance better sober, and c.) I would be the one to get him out of the truck when we got home.
This one time, Earth Muffin can vouch for me, we were at a Big Wu show and he went to the bathroom and was gone for a really long time, well Mr. Earth Muffin went in to check on him, and found him puking. Uncle Nascar gets my keys and goes out to my truck to sleep it off, when the show ends, it is starting to snow and I am banging on my own truck window for Uncle Nascar to wake up and let me in. When we finally got home, 3 hours later, I had to fire fighter carry Uncle Nascar to the porch.
Uncle Nascar, never remembers birthdays, adoption days, holidays, or anything. Every year Eddy Haskel painstakingly picks out gifts for Uncle Nascar, yet every year Uncle Nascar does not get the boy who totally idolizes him anything. Once when he came home from North Carolina, he was going to hang out at a friend's house and had brought gifts for their children, he felt guilty so he gave Eddy his pocket knife. It was the sharpest freaking knife I have ever seen, and yes I carry a knife in my pocket. But I could not let Eddy have the knife, even supervised he could do serious damage.

So upon closing this post, daily I mourn the brother that I lost that fateful night in June, 8 years ago. I am sorry that I will be the one taking care of my crazy parents, (see previous posts). And I am embarrassed for Uncle Nascar that he still needs his mommy, even though she weaned him from her breast 26 years ago.

I Forgot

Baby Gnat is almost walking, and I forgot. I forgot that babies get into things that they are not supposed to get into, and they go places that are dangerous. Actually I did not forget, I just thought that maybe she would NEVER walk. The new house we moved into is not at all child-proof. When the Brady Bunch lived here their children were all above the age of 4. I think when they actually renovated the house they were trying to make it more dangerous. I have a spiral stair case from the game room into my kitchen, and I could fall through those balusters.

I forgot how babies gravitate towards danger, outlets, Grandfather clocks, Legos. I am constantly asking Eddy to pick up his Legos, because Baby Gnat loves the pretty colors and loves putting things into her little mouth. I forgot, babies who wiggle manage to get poop on their clean clothes, third outfit of the day. It is summer so most of the time I forgo and outfit, as she gets messy even without the poop. I forgot that my little baby burrito, would grow up and want to walk. I am in the safety mode here, and I will try not to let her get into it, but damn it Eddy pick up those Legos.

It's Friday and it's raining (again)

Well first off a big thanks to Auntie Katie for going yard "sailing" this morning. We found some great stuff. My personal favorites are the 2 heirloom quilts that I got for $15.00 each, they totally go with this house we live in, and the wooden folding chair from the Illinois State Fair. We also ate lunch at the coffee shop here in town, owned by two gay guys. So, the food is FANTASTIC and the atmosphere is totally 'city like'.

The main reason why I am here blogging today is my MIL. I love her dearly, but right now she is sort of sick. Last week she flunked a stress test, and when the results came back she has partial blockage in an artery, like a main artery. I am not what you would call an alarmist, but I am really concerned for her, and for us. I know this sounds totally selfish, but after all the hullabaloo is over and everyone has brought there covered dishes to share, and taken their turn caring for her, guess who will ultimately be responsible?? Us. Mr. Anti-Hippie and myself. She actually told us first, we found out last week. She however waited until yesterday to drop the news to the rest of her kids.

My MIL is a very hard worker, she works as a NICU nurse and an emergency room nurse at both the hospitals in our capital city. She is a good nurse and has turned out to be a somewhat wonderful MIL. When her 4 kids were young though, she left them. She had just lost her 6 year old daughter, whom she had when she was only a teenager. Her daughter Stephanie had leukemia, and would have been 4 years older than me. The loss of Stephanie sent her into a down-ward spiral of depression and probably drug and alcohol abuse. This is all speculation, as I never broach the subject with her. All I know is that my husband and his 3 siblings were raised by their father, who was given custody. This was in the early 1980's and for a father to be given custody was sort of unheard of. So as MIL's kids grew up, she made up for not being there by giving. She gives them money and stuff all of the time, like she is making up for not being there. I do not understand this, but I love her and I love my husband.

But, I am scared that if something happens to her, or she becomes incapacitated in some way shape or form, we will be the ones to pick up the pieces and get matters settled. I know that if something happens to my parents I definitely will be the one taking care of them as my brother, Uncle Nascar is too wrapped up in his own life down in North Carolina to even think that I might need help up here in the mid-west. Anyway, I hope that I am worrying for nothing and that this all works out okay.

I love you MIL and Crazy Fucked Up Family, even if you piss me off!!

Wednesday WTF (borrowed from CDJ)

WTF weather? Hey can you just pick a season and stay there? huh? This is the prairie, not some far off land that gets a monsoon once a year, could you just stop raining so that I can get the rest of my garden planted???

WTF Brother and Sister in Law? See previous posts, this one, this one, and this one. You bought a boat? You have a sick baby who has medical bills, you dear SIL are unemployed, yet you thought you would 'stimulate' the economy by buying a bass boat. Are you kidding me? You still did not apologize for not getting me some fucking coffee the other day, but you bought a boat. Real smart.

WTF turtles? Why do you cross the road during rush hour? Why do you have to cross the road? Aren't there ponds and other hot turtles on that side of the road? Why must you cross when you know I cannot possibly stop and help you? Please, find suitable mating partners on your own side of the road?

WTF nosy neighbors? Okay I know we are new to this neighborhood, but for goodness sakes my husband grew up here, we are not from a foreign country, STOP STARING AT ME AND SPYING ON ME. I know you hate dogs, but I do not hate dogs and I like picking up their turds, OKAY? I see you bouncing from window to window trying to get a better peek at what I am doing. If you really want to know, come over and ask me. I have a compost pile and wait until you get a load of my new clothes lines that I will be putting up next week when I am on summer break. That will freak you out, especially when I hang out my granny panties.

Finally Thanks Earth Muffin I had a great time getting some beers with you today, Happy End of the Suckiest School Year on Record.

Thanks CDJ for letting me borrow your WTF Wednesday idea.

Coffee, is that too much to ask

Dear B & T,

I know it is your b-day weekend, but seriously. I forgot to get coffee on my way home from work yesterday, so last night we called you in hopes that you could stop by S n' S on your way home from your b-day dinner and buy us a small can of Thomas Coffee. You know it is a blue can with a cute little Scottie dog on the front of it?? Well Mother Fuckers you did not, you did not even fucking call and tell us that 'ooops we forgot'. Man that is low, that is really low. After all the shit we have done for you guys, I know it is your b-day and all, so Happy fucking Birthday.

Yeah I suck, I am pissy and grumpy from lack of Coffee

Thanks to you mother fuckers,

Love,
EBM