Last December ('06) when we announced we were pregnant, my mom was going to disown me. Now, I was not a teenage mother, I was not with an abusive spouse, and did I mention I am thirty years old. My mother thought I was going to ruin the life of my first born, who by the way was born in 1998.
When Mr. Earthy Birthy and I got married 2 years ago and I brought Eddy Haskel with me, in to this marriage. Mr. Earthy Birthy adopted Eddy shortly after we got married, although all along he has acted like the father figure Eddy never had.
Anyway back to my point, my mother wanted nothing to do with this pregnancy or this baby. When I was pregnant all she did was say how bad I looked, or how bad my ankles looked, and that she never had any of this with her two pregnancies with my brother Nascar and myself. Okay, I get it you were the perfect mother with the perfect pregnancies. I was miserable with baby Gnat during the last month, especially with all the pre-labor that I was experiencing, but when I went to give birth I only labored 3 hours, yeah that's right I started at 5:45 and by 9:00 pm I was holding that baby girl. My mom did not come to see us at the hospital, infact they did not see Baby Gnat until she was over a week old, and they did not want to hold her. In fact Baby Gnat was born in JULY and Crazy Mom did not hold her until November!! Yeah NOVEMBER.
Now, My Crazy mom cannot keep her hands off the babe, and I am just supposed to act like nothing happened. I am supposed to act like she is this baby's rightful grandmother who was there all along supporting me and Mr. Earthy Birthy. Well on the outside I am that stoic daughter who allows her Mother to treat her like poo, but on the inside I am screaming. I will be going to therapy for this, (yes, I will admit it I am going to see a therapist in March for all my issues) (there I said it). I really want to write a book on all the crazy shit my Mother has put me through and make millions on it, and even go on Oprah, but I also want some validation because I think it is unfair that she wants to be a part of this now and did not want this baby at first.
Anyway back to my Mother, this weekend for example she would not stop telling the baby to "say her name" or to say "Uncle Nascar's name". WTF. She cannot just decide out of the blue to be a grandma to one of my kids.
Am I crazy or what???
3 comments:
EBM, I had no idea. That totally sucks. I don't have any advice for you. It's so hard with moms because the consequences can be so long-lasting. Maybe you could have a conversation with her to try and find out what changed? Do you think she would talk about it?
CDJ, my mom is crazy, and I think blogging about it, writing about it, and seeking professional help are really therapeutic for me. In my family we do not talk about things, we sweep them under the rug, and walk around like nothing ever happened! Thanks for reading and sending me your positive vibes.
You really are between a rock and a hard place with this situation. By pretending all is peachy-keen, you are giving yourself an ulcer. If you try to discuss your feelings with Your Crazy Mom, you run the risk of her shutting you out again, which I know was equally hurtful for you. I think all the ways you're trying to get past this are very good for you. Maybe one day in the future you can face her and just ask what was going through her mind at that time and did she realize how much she hurt you when it was happening. You might not get the answer you're looking for, but to get it off your chest will be very liberating.
Oh, and I love your brother's nickname! Good one!
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