Stupid Family (not mine)

Disclaimer:
This letter is written to the Stupid Family that goes to my sitter. They have three Stupid Kids, one 9 year old hyper active girl, one 22 month old bully of a boy, and one very cute but large 5 month old. They infected my household with the pukes and shits last week, and this week they have two diagnosed cases of RSV.


Dear Stupids,
I know you need to go to work, and sometimes if your kids have the sniffles you think to yourself, who is this gonna hurt? Well Stupids it hurt my family last week, we were incapacitated for a whole 24 hours and were unable to take care of our children because we were too sick and weak to move. We actually left our 10 year old in charge of the little one. Not to mention the whole puking and shitting thing. Thanks for that.
Now, today you call the sitter as I am picking up Gnat. You call the sitter to tell her your two youngest have RSV and they were exposed to it at the sitters house? WTF??? NO ONE has been sick at the sitter's house but your dirty rotten brats!!! Now if Gnat gets RSV your gonna be in shit so deep, that I will have to....hmmmm. Bitch about this on my blog for a while. Thanks a lot. Now give your kids a bath, keep them home, and um, yeah quit getting us sick.

Love,
Earthy Birthy

WTF Wednesday one day early

This is my latest edition of WTF Wednesday because my posts here have been so sporadic.

WTF Weather?
First you send us arctic freaking blasts week after agonizing week, now you want us to think that spring is here? This weather is not supposed to last, it is supposed to snow this weekend. WTF!! Also, weather you make people dress so inappropriately. I saw people in tank tops, shorts, and flip-flops today. WTF, it aint even Valentine's yet people!!


WTF Husband?
He comes in to night while I am fixing dinner, haucking up loogies, and then he says I think we need to move to Arizona because now I think I might be coming down with a cold. Um, really, you want to trade me my pregnancy congestion for a little loogy spitting? I have been snotty since before Christmas. And really, Arizona?? NOW??? WTF? Watch what you are saying to the pregnant crazy lady, m-kay??

WTF Loud Cars with missing mufflers and crappy too loud bass sub-woffers?
Do you really think you are cool driving up and down my street? This neighborhood is full of smallish children, so #1 you are probably driving too fast and b. WTF????

Finally, WTF Stupid Family from the Sitter's who has sick kids again?
Okay, I know I am not a big proponet of medical interventions or doctors for that matter, but if your kid gets my kid sick again, I am gonna...??? I am gonna blog about it with full vengence, because I think you are the stupid family, and like I said earlier do ya really want to mess with the Crazy Prego???

Long Time No See

Okay, I admit it, I have not been taking very much time for me lately. I started a new job the same week the Anti-Hippie left for a 2 week stint with the Navy in New York. Leaving me at home with the 2 kiddos. That is all fine and good, except I am pregnant and full of those hormones and I just started a new job for pete's sake. When we planned this New York AT(Annual Training), #1 I was not pregnant and #2 I did not have a job, so when he called and asked how it was going, and I jumped down his throat, those are the 2 main reasons I did so.

So my new classroom is really tiny and I have 13 middle to upper class kindergartners through third graders. The community in which I teach does not acknowledge poverty, even though there is a trailer park directly across the street from the school, albeit, across the tracks too, but I digress. I came into this job because the person who had the classroom quit right after Christmas Break, there are rumors about why, but that is not my concern, my concern is getting this classroom into working order with structure and discipline.

So, the Anti-Hippie arrived back home last week and Gnat and I picked him up from the airport. He had to work the next day so I planned a girlie night with my girlie girls, in honor of the January birthdays. Mrs. Granola came, Earth Muffin was there, as was Aunt KiKi, and K. K is recently separated from her husband, and I barely recognize the woman she has become in the past 2 years of freedom. I am so proud of her for our life stories mirror one another's, and I knew she was the strong woman she is becoming!! (this is the only time I have taken for myself, I need to go get a massage and just learn to relax)

{Anyways, while the Anti-Hippie was gone, I learned that dogs who eat dirty diapers, puke up said dirty diapers and it is really gross!}

So this week was uneventful for the most part, I reconnected with an old friend on Facebook and he has been reading this blog, trying to catch up on my life for the past 14 years. Gnat got sick for the first time on Wednesday and the Anti-Hippie took such good care of her. By Thursday she felt much better, by early Friday morning I was as sick as a dog, and still had to go into work early to put sub plans out on my desk and to get my room prepped for the sub. I was sick all day Friday, UNTIL>>>>>>>> the Anti-Hippie got sick. Then I thought I better get better because who was really going to take care of stuff, now? So here it is 2pm in the afternoon, Gnat is running around the house and mama and papa are sick as dogs in bed. At 4pm I roused myself up to go get Eddy, so that he could entertain Gnat while I caught a few more winks. WRONG>>>>, Eddy wanted to eat, when Eddy wanted to eat so did Gnat, Gnat filled approximately 5 diapers with poo that night, at 7:30 I called Aunt KiKi and told her that I needed her, that the Anti-Hippie and I were dying, and that the kids were running amok. She came over, (from what I barely remember) and put jammies on the baby and rocked her to sleep, while Eddy fell asleep on the floor of the baby's room.
Now, Eddy was a champ that night, running between me and my puke bucket and the Anti-Hippie in the bathroom, updating us on each other and keeping a somewhat good eye on the baby. Saturday morning I woke up feeling much better, and started disinfecting the house. Knock on a huge piece of wood Eddy never got sick.
The Anti-Hippie is another story, I know I am dramatic, but WTF? He could win an Academy Award for his performances, yesterday and today. He actually said to me, 'how are you up moving around?", Well honey one of us has to be, because I am not reliving Friday night again, or DCFS will come and take our kids. And the house smells like sickness and I need to get it cleaned up for the week!!!!

Well, hope you enjoyed this installment stay tuned for more happenings here in V-Town, where the Mamas are pregnant and crazy!!!

I am no longer unemployed!!

Having recently finished my teacher certification, finding out we were pregnant, and it being the middle of the school year my hopes of finding full time employment were none too high. Right before the new year, Aunt Ki-Ki sent me a Yahoo job notification that she received in her email in-box. I jumped on the chance to get employed at a school with just half the school year remaining. I jumped through all the necessary hoops like submitting a resume and a letter of intent. I also followed up with several phone calls to find out if the employer needed anything further from me. This lead to an interview. I really think I shined during the interview. I knew many of the 'buzz' words in education these days and was somewhat familiar with the direction that Special Education is headed these days. I immediately followed up the interview with a letter thanking the employer for granting me an interview and for taking me on a tour of the facilities. Finally, I had to ask several people for their references and if they would be willing to talk to this future employer on the telephone, they all agreed.

The last and final step was the most difficult, the WAIT. Waiting for the confirmation to come back via email that the future employer received the reference list, waiting for the phone call about whether or not I actually got the job. Waiting is really the hardest part. During this waiting part came the weekend, and of course no one is going to call you about a job over the weekend. So I waited and I waited. Yesterday while I was looking for a snake, I was waiting. Yesterday while I was getting the bird out of the house that flew down the flue, I was waiting. I waited all day yesterday. By this morning, I was tired of waiting. So tired in fact that I forgot to carry my phone with me from room to room, so I missed the call when it came. I saw I missed a call and IMMEDIATELY called them back. And yes after all this WAITING, I have a job!!! I will be a primary resource teacher in a very affluent school district just 15 miles north of here!! I will start as soon as I fill out the necessary paper work and get finger-printed! I waited and my patience paid off!

Escape Artist

Recently we acquired two more reptiles for our collection. The Anti Hippie recently went to a reptile show in St. Louis where he bought a Kenyan Sand Boa and won a Ball Python in a raffle. (I believe he was the only SUCKER that bought a raffle ticket) The Kenyan Sand Boa will only grow to be about one foot long and the Ball Python can grow to be four or five feet long. I am not apprehensive about reptiles as Eddy has been an Avid Herpetologist since he was able to walk. I am however apprehensive about the said reptile escaping which is what happened over the weekend.

The Anti Hippie was working all weekend and Aunt KiKi came over for a visit on Friday Night to eat hot-dogs and play the Wii. That was the last time we saw the Kenyan Sand Boa. Sunday afternoon when the Anti-Hippie returned from work and was going to feed and water the reptiles, he came trundling down stairs only to announce that the Kenyan Sand Boa had escaped. I was very upset as I had been assured that this would not ever happen. Toddler Gnat is in to everything, and what I did not need was for her to come in carrying a snake, alive or dead! So the search was on, Eddy and his friend Austin looked all over the upstairs, as efficiently as 10 year olds look for missing items (not very thorough). The snake was no where to be found, which led Eddy to believe that Abby, our dog known for eating just about anything, ate the snake. He looked at me and said with tears in his eyes, "her breath smells like snake." Well I think it smells like ass, but whatever.

I went to bed that night full of anxiety that a.) when I got up to pee numerous times in the night I would step on the snake and b.) I would not find the snake until much later when the aroma of dead snake filled my house!

Well my fears were alleviated yesterday morning when the Anti-Hippie and I found the snake, after a very thorough search of his office and my office/craft room. I am happy to report that at 9:37 a.m. on January 12, 2009 I found the snake and put him back in to his cage with the new reinforced lid. We are going to call him Blo-Go, for the newly impeached Illinois Governor who tends to get himself out of tight situations!

I have an announcement

As my two readers know I spent the past 5 months completing my student teaching. I was very busy and it was kind of stressful. There was the new baby-sitter, there was the before and after-school Eddy child-care fiasco, and then there was the actual student-teaching part; the part which I enjoyed the most!
In the beginning, the Anti-Hippie and I were faithfully taking my temperature every morning when the alarm went off. See, my BFF had given me her The Art of Natural Family Planning book and up until one weekend at the beginning of October I was successfully following the 'plan'. That is until I got, lazy, careless, fill in any number of words here, and I just stopped taking my temperature and keeping track of my monthly cycle. Around Halloween the local coffee-shop had a party where they had a fortune-teller. When I saw the fortune-teller she told me I was pregnant, I laughed my ass off because I thought it to be absurd, I think I had recently had my period and The Anti-Hippie and I were not planning on trying for another baby until August of 2009 or 2010 depending on my job situation. Well folks, I am pregnant! I go to the Doctor on Tuesday where they will do a sonagram to determine how far along I am and we shall see. My neighbor seems to think I am farther along than I think and I think I am only about 10 weeks. So if you are the gambling type we can start taking bets on when it is due and when it will actually arrive.
Oh yeah about the job situation, hopefully I will have an interview next week for a resource room position that is available, I will keep you posted on this as well as the other happenings in my life.

Does anyone else have this problem?

Eddy climbs on everything! He just turned 10 it is not like he little anymore, so WTF? I catch him standing on our couch, bouncing off my furniture like he is a ninja, standing on my stools at my breakfast bar, swinging on the stairs from the landing, and climbing down the spiral stair-case that leads to the kitchen. Did he become a monkey?
I am only concerned because Gnat, is WATCHING everything he does, she likes to imitate him and I am worried about what primate she may become!