Murder

Dear Husband,

I killed it. Remember last weekend when you brought home 2 new lizards, Uromastyxs to be exact. Well I hope you also remember that you left me in charge of these 2 new baby lizards (Uromastyxs), 1 Leopard Gecko, 25 or so Koi fish, 1 ten year old human male, 1 ten month old human female, and 2 domesticated canines. Most of these things need food and water on a daily basis, they need to have some one on one attention, they might need to be changed or bathed, and they might need a hug, kiss, or a swift kick to the ass. Well one of those baby Uromastyx died, sometime between 12am this morning when I finished blogging and 8:30 pm tonight when I came in to feed them some fresh lettuce. I do not know what killed it, all I know is that I called your step-brother to come over and remove it from the cage, as I cannot touch dead animals. I am really sorry, when you left on Sunday for your business trip and you thought I would be able to handle all of this, I think you were mistaken. I love you but I hate the reptiles you have brought into our relationship, and I am beginning to hate the pond, as I smell like algae right now.
Please do not get new baby lizards one day before you leave on business for a week. Good thing Eddy is not here tonight or I would have had to comfort him, at this time of loss.
Please call me so that I can tell you what happened, as I cannot reach you by cell phone right now. Are you at Hooters? Anyway, try not to be too mad at me, I am doing the best I can.

Love,
EBM