I know

I know why I get so frustrated with my mother. It is because I always think of ways to tell her off way after she has left. I know why Mr. Anti Hippie seems so stand offish when she is around, it is because he has to pick up the pieces when she leaves, when she leaves me in a tizzy. I so wish I could just tell her that I am hostile because she is the main reason I left for Alaska 11 years ago, she is the main reason why Baby Gnat does not like her, she is the main reason why I started my period yesterday, after 19 months of not having one, Sunday morning I woke up feeling shitty. In fact, I still feel really crampy right now.

Dear Mother,

I am your daughter, you raised me to respect my elders which is why I cannot tell you to your face that you frustrate me so much, and that I moved up here because I wanted to. I love you, but I am not your BFF, I am your daughter. You should relish in the fact that I love my husband dearly, and we still sleep in the same bed, I love my Eddy Haskel not because he looks like Uncle Nascar, but because I worked my ass off to make a better life for he and I. I also love Baby Gnat, no matter how spoiled she is, I love her because Mr. Anti-Hippie and I created this beautiful life together. Oh yeah and one more thing, I want more babies. No, I do not want to be bare foot and pregnant, but I still feel like I want more children.
I really wonder what you when home and told dad the other night when you left my house, with the beer. You should be proud of me for going to school, being responsible, managing a house, and our money. Mr. Anti-Hippie and I really worked on our relationship last year when you were not talking to me, I found that if I went directly to him with the problems that we were having, the problems seemed to get fixed, we are grown, responsible adults. I still am a strong woman, and no I do not need a man to complete me, but he is my best friend and lover, he and the kids are what makes me strong, not to mention all the other hurdles that I have had to cross to get here, where I am.
I am comfortable with my life, I am not you, I will never be you. I do not ever want to be you, yes you did a great job, but cut the freaking apron strings. Have I not shown you that I can be an adult, have I not shown you that I am a fully capable person.

Love, Your Daughter Earthy Birthy Mama

P.S. thanks for not calling me today

My Yard Sale (Beer)

I have finally recovered from the yard sale, it was a lot of work, but we managed to get rid of a ton of stuff. It all began when we moved into this house. As I have spoken of before, it is really large but I do not feel that it needs to be filled with clutter and things. I have been gathering items to have in the yard sale since before we moved here, yes I know I actually moved those items, but I knew that I might be able to make some money from them. So last week Auntie Katie and I started pricing and arranging stuff in the garage, as we actually were not having the sale inside the garage, but in the big drive way just off of the garage. Well we moved some of the Anti-Hippie's stuff, and we never heard the end of it.
We got all of our items priced and were prepared for the sale which we were going to have for two days. Thursday my mother came up because she was selling some of her Longaberger Baskets at my sale. She came up a day early because she had sent out invitations inviting all of her friends to come up to my house to look at her baskets, she used to sell the damn things in the late eighties and nineties, then she quit because she did not like the direction the company was going, don't ask. She came up with beer and snacks, in hopes of selling some of her baskets. See she is now into making her own baskets and the profit from this sale was going to help her pay for the basket making work-shops. Needless to say I was having a yard sale and people were looking for bargains, not baskets that were actually priced at Bentley Book value. Anyway I digress.
Katie and I set up for the yard sale on Friday morning, and we were quite surprised with the amount of people that came considering that it was a week day. We had some really interesting items in the sale, 3 big wooden boxes that really looked like pirate's treasure chests, 3 reel to reel recorders from the United States Navy that belonged to my SIL's father, a head stone that I found in my landscaping, silk clip on ties from the seventies, the list goes on and on. Well Auntie Katie kept moving stuff up to this one spot and we kept on timing how long it would take to sell once an item was placed in this one spot. There was a carpet cleaner that sold within 15 minutes of being placed in this spot, the treasure chest sold with in a half and hour of being placed in this spot, and the head stone with Jesus and the lambs sold with in 5 minutes of placing it in that spot. I have no idea where the head stone came from nor the purpose of the head stone, I found it under some vines in the landscaping, it was granite and Jesus and some lambs were on it, there was no writing, and it was not marking a pet cemetery. Like I have posted on here before, the previous owner of this house had quite an extensive rock collection, I wonder if this "stone" was part of his collection. The people that bought the stone had just lost a horse that they had as a pet for the past 19 years, so they were going to use the stone for a marker for their beloved pet. I personally thought the stone was creepy and I am glad it sold in the sale.
One of the funniest items that sold was a mock, mock turtle neck. Auntie Katie and I were sorting clothes and she made a comment about the mock turtle neck inside of a mock turtle neck and I could not stop laughing. So Friday morning while some customers were shopping I was telling my mom about the mock turtle neck that was a double mock turtle neck, and I started to laugh again, then this lady picked it up and said "well I like this, I think I want it" that prompted me to say "well I guess I cannot make fun of it anymore.
So all in all it was a good sale I made some money, my mom made me crazy, and Auntie Katie kept me sane. My mom left yesterday after the sale and she actually sold some of her baskets, but she took her beer home with her. What kind of stingy person actually does that, if I put beer in someone's fridge and there is some left after we have partied, I usually leave it there, unless they do not drink my flavor of beer. I went in to cool off after cleaning up and the beer was gone out of my fridge, she used my house for her sale, she used my sale to sell her shit, but she took her beer. WTF???

Photo Shoot

Sometimes I feel like I am a really lucky person. We had been planning a 'photo shoot' for a long time, with my SIL Shelly Belly, she suggested that we do it on an overcast day as I wanted the pictures taken outside on my lawn. Friday the 13th, Shelly Belly came over to take said pictures. The kids cleaned up sort of well, and had on complimenting shirts from the Gap, BO(RED) and INSPI(RED). I was thinking this was going to be a big pain, but surprisingly it turned out great. Thanks Shelly Belly you really captured my kids, and now I have art for my wall.

Happy Father's Day

Dear Mr. Anti-Hippie,

Happy Father's Day. I am very happy that you adopted Eddy and that we had Baby Gnat together. You are the best dad that our two kids could have. You are patient, kind, caring, firm yet fun, not hot headed (like Earthy Birthy Mama), and most of all loving.

Thank you and I love you,

Earthy Birthy Mama

Uncle NASCAR, A Real Momma's Boy

My brother Uncle Nascar and I have this love hate relationship. I hate him because he always gets away with it, he loves me because I am an easy target and I always take his bait. My brother was in a serious car accident over 8 years ago. He was probably drunk, and he fell asleep at the wheel and rolled his mini-van, and suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). So the brother that I grew up with no longer exists.
Uncle Nascar believes he is the only one, the only one who has to work, who has to pay taxes, who has a mortgage, and who has to put up with the daily BS called life. He is the only one who works overtime, drives in traffic, shops at Wal-Mart, and listens to FOX News. He calls all the time to tell me how hard he is working, and how tough life is. But get this he is 28 years old, he lives in North Carolina and my Mother calls him every morning to wake him up. She gets up, even on the weekends and calls him and makes sure he is up so that he can go to work. I can't stand this, he is an adult, capable of purchasing alarm clocks, yet his mommy calls him every morning to wake him up.
Uncle Nascar moved to North Carolina because a friend of his lived down there, or so he says. I really cannot figure out why he moved down there, other than he likes NASCAR and he is far away from our parents. When I left home I moved to Alaska, 3000 miles away.
Uncle Nascar used to live in Illinois, and used to go to shows with me. I liked going and seeing some Hippy Bands every now and then and since I was single, I used to ask him to go with, just because I am nice. Well going to shows with me was an excuse to drink, because I would stay sober so that a.) we did not get mugged in down town St. Louis, b.) because I dance better sober, and c.) I would be the one to get him out of the truck when we got home.
This one time, Earth Muffin can vouch for me, we were at a Big Wu show and he went to the bathroom and was gone for a really long time, well Mr. Earth Muffin went in to check on him, and found him puking. Uncle Nascar gets my keys and goes out to my truck to sleep it off, when the show ends, it is starting to snow and I am banging on my own truck window for Uncle Nascar to wake up and let me in. When we finally got home, 3 hours later, I had to fire fighter carry Uncle Nascar to the porch.
Uncle Nascar, never remembers birthdays, adoption days, holidays, or anything. Every year Eddy Haskel painstakingly picks out gifts for Uncle Nascar, yet every year Uncle Nascar does not get the boy who totally idolizes him anything. Once when he came home from North Carolina, he was going to hang out at a friend's house and had brought gifts for their children, he felt guilty so he gave Eddy his pocket knife. It was the sharpest freaking knife I have ever seen, and yes I carry a knife in my pocket. But I could not let Eddy have the knife, even supervised he could do serious damage.

So upon closing this post, daily I mourn the brother that I lost that fateful night in June, 8 years ago. I am sorry that I will be the one taking care of my crazy parents, (see previous posts). And I am embarrassed for Uncle Nascar that he still needs his mommy, even though she weaned him from her breast 26 years ago.

I Forgot

Baby Gnat is almost walking, and I forgot. I forgot that babies get into things that they are not supposed to get into, and they go places that are dangerous. Actually I did not forget, I just thought that maybe she would NEVER walk. The new house we moved into is not at all child-proof. When the Brady Bunch lived here their children were all above the age of 4. I think when they actually renovated the house they were trying to make it more dangerous. I have a spiral stair case from the game room into my kitchen, and I could fall through those balusters.

I forgot how babies gravitate towards danger, outlets, Grandfather clocks, Legos. I am constantly asking Eddy to pick up his Legos, because Baby Gnat loves the pretty colors and loves putting things into her little mouth. I forgot, babies who wiggle manage to get poop on their clean clothes, third outfit of the day. It is summer so most of the time I forgo and outfit, as she gets messy even without the poop. I forgot that my little baby burrito, would grow up and want to walk. I am in the safety mode here, and I will try not to let her get into it, but damn it Eddy pick up those Legos.

It's Friday and it's raining (again)

Well first off a big thanks to Auntie Katie for going yard "sailing" this morning. We found some great stuff. My personal favorites are the 2 heirloom quilts that I got for $15.00 each, they totally go with this house we live in, and the wooden folding chair from the Illinois State Fair. We also ate lunch at the coffee shop here in town, owned by two gay guys. So, the food is FANTASTIC and the atmosphere is totally 'city like'.

The main reason why I am here blogging today is my MIL. I love her dearly, but right now she is sort of sick. Last week she flunked a stress test, and when the results came back she has partial blockage in an artery, like a main artery. I am not what you would call an alarmist, but I am really concerned for her, and for us. I know this sounds totally selfish, but after all the hullabaloo is over and everyone has brought there covered dishes to share, and taken their turn caring for her, guess who will ultimately be responsible?? Us. Mr. Anti-Hippie and myself. She actually told us first, we found out last week. She however waited until yesterday to drop the news to the rest of her kids.

My MIL is a very hard worker, she works as a NICU nurse and an emergency room nurse at both the hospitals in our capital city. She is a good nurse and has turned out to be a somewhat wonderful MIL. When her 4 kids were young though, she left them. She had just lost her 6 year old daughter, whom she had when she was only a teenager. Her daughter Stephanie had leukemia, and would have been 4 years older than me. The loss of Stephanie sent her into a down-ward spiral of depression and probably drug and alcohol abuse. This is all speculation, as I never broach the subject with her. All I know is that my husband and his 3 siblings were raised by their father, who was given custody. This was in the early 1980's and for a father to be given custody was sort of unheard of. So as MIL's kids grew up, she made up for not being there by giving. She gives them money and stuff all of the time, like she is making up for not being there. I do not understand this, but I love her and I love my husband.

But, I am scared that if something happens to her, or she becomes incapacitated in some way shape or form, we will be the ones to pick up the pieces and get matters settled. I know that if something happens to my parents I definitely will be the one taking care of them as my brother, Uncle Nascar is too wrapped up in his own life down in North Carolina to even think that I might need help up here in the mid-west. Anyway, I hope that I am worrying for nothing and that this all works out okay.

I love you MIL and Crazy Fucked Up Family, even if you piss me off!!