Chapter 3 cont.

By July Jacques and I had a comfortable groove going in our little shack in the woods. I could feel my need to move on though. I do not know why but there was a period in my life where I got bored in relationships and wanted more, even though what I was really looking for was right there the whole time. By the end of July and into August, I was partying really hard, I worked through the grave yard shift and had moved up to 3pm-11pm. Jacques was still on grave yard, so we did not get to party together too often.

One night I was asked by a co-worker to go tripping with him, he was in the Army and apparently LSD did not show up on drug tests or something like that. He had liquid acid, and I tripped balls strong for about 8 hours. I freaked only once, and to this day I prefer shrooms to acid. I had an awakening, and felt the need to move on from Jacques. I had a bad come down, I felt so bad, but I had to work the next day, so on top of no sleep and trippin balls, I went to work. Where I met my baby daddy.

I was still coming down while I was at work, and feeling really bad. I had just gotten into a big fight with Jacques, who accused me of being irresponsible, and although I did not see it at the time really cared for my well being. Anything could have happened to me while I was out there. Anyway I went to work feeling really shitty about myself but knowing that I needed another change. Sitting at the counter was this red headed guy I had never seen before and out in the parking lot was a piece of shit car with a wolf inside. I kid you not a real live wolf, that happened to belong to the redhaired guy. Now at the same time this new girl started working at Denny’s and she said she was with the red-haired guy. I played nice and befriended her. In hindsight it was to get to the red-haired guy. We all became friends and I quickly found out that she was not his girl friend, she was a front for the operation he had going up in the valley.

His name was Brian, he migrated to Alaska via hitch-hiking, and had set up a grow operation. He was not too discrete about his operation and told me all about it. I even went up a few times to see it. He had also bought the wolf pup off of a guy, and it was a real wolf. And not to be the antithesis of white trash, he had a red nosed pit bull dog. I really liked him though, I would see him when Jacques was at work. I told him that he was the reason for my awakening. This girl I befriended on the other hand had other ideas, she thought that she and Brian were an item, and looking back on it now maybe they were.

His Side: Her name was Stina, short for Christina. She came to Alaska with a heroine addict, and pulled into Girdwood (hippie Mecca of Alaska). Brian was living on a hill in a converted bus, and Stina just happened to pull up in front of his place with this heroine addict friend of hers, and Brian thought that he might just help them out. Well Stina’s friend left to go on a binge and Brain’s pit bull attacked another dog, all within the same time frame, so Brian needed to get the hell out of dodge. He convinced Stina that she could be a front for his grow operation and he would split whatever he made with her, plus the cost of her being the front and having a real job. So when I met them it was just a business deal.

Her Side: She was destined to meet Brian and he wanted her, so they moved up to Fairbanks and they together started a grow operation. She was going to be the front and make have the job. She was totally in love with him, and when she found out about he and I shit totally hit the fan.

During the month of August I had also saved up enough money to go down to Anchorage and get some gear for winter and buy a piece of shit car. On one of my long weekends, Brian and I took off for Anchorage. Now mind you, he had a wolf, dog, and a grow operation still going up in the valley. Stina still thought she was a part of this, and Jacques had no idea where I had gone for the weekend.

We hitch hiked down to Anchorage, we were lucky enough to get one ride all the way down. I was so scared yet elated that I was out there, doing something, that probably no one that I knew had ever done!!