The World as I See It

Down right Despondent and Depressed

2011-04-27T16:13:00.001-05:00

Oh how can I go on? How can I get up every freaking day for the next 23 days of school and be happy and cheery and want to help my students who struggle? Why did this burden get placed upon me? Why me?
I have been thinking about this for several days now. I was fired or let go because I stood up for something I believed in, homework. I have homework every night, I fold laundry, I get out of bed on time, I get forms and faxes where they need to be in a timely manner, and I pay my bills on time. How could my students become "productive members of society" without homework?
I go into work each day and face each challenge that is handed to me. I complain a little, but I get the job done, I do what I feel is in the best interest of my students. I have not bitten a student, I have not snuck out of the building, and I am not a terrible teacher.
This totally sucks; I always thought I would be a teacher, now not so much. I am anxious about staying home next year. Do I write my book? Do I find part time work at Wal-Mart?
Today was my breaking point. The teachers in my wing do not have a cohesive planning time, therefore there were 4 projects that are due or were due this week and next. I have kids who are in the general population that have had up to 4 projects due, talk about homework. Most all of my prep time is spent helping students complete said assignments because these kids lack that support at home. I do not want ANYONE to tell me I was not here for my kids, I do not want ANYONE to tell me that I have not bent over backwards to see that ALL of my students did not pass the 7th grade.
I am sad, I am sad that my administration cannot see what I do on a daily basis, that I am by no means a martyr but I have been there this whole year and all of last year to see to it that NO ONE fell behind.
I think of Horton who no one believed, I think of how he did and he got up every day to search through those small specks of dust to find the Whos when they were lost. I do this every day. I search and search hoping to save just one little who.
I am sad because when I became a teacher I was going to "have an impact" on students. They were going to become better because of me and what I had to teach.
I cannot wait for these next 22 days to be over.

New Adventures

2011-04-24T14:13:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, my house was clean, my kids were well behaved, I had dinner on the table on time, and I was able to sleep every night. Then I decided to have more kids and that changed everything. In a few weeks we will never have more kids because my husband has elected to go in and have surgery. I pushed for this, but I am also sad. I love babies, they are so sweet, so needy, and they are only little for a short time. In July our middle daughter turns 4 and in August the baby turns 2. It has been a joyous ride, and my adventures with cloth diapers and baby wearing are almost over. Just recently I weaned the Danger Hawk, and I still feel like I am missing something, even though my nights of almost uninterrupted sleep are blissful.
I came from a tiny family, and was jealous of those "good Catholic" families growing up, that had a million kids running around. I wanted a big family, but as time goes on and I get older, I do not know if I could do childbirth again. I do not know if I could do 3am feedings again. The last baby was very trying on my patience as well as my relationship with my husband and the rest of my family. As I sit here contemplating the next few weeks, I am sad, but in the not too distant past I remember how trying that last baby was and how blessed we are to have what we have.

Really, Honey? Really?

2011-04-18T16:52:00.000-05:00

Dear Anti Hippie,

I am just a little stressed right now. I lost my job, remember that? I left this morning and you were still in bed, I understand the night before you were working and did not get much sleep. I left early for work because I have several students in regular education classes with HUGE projects due this week. NOT ONE teacher has made accomidations on these HUGE PROJECTS. I fieled phone calls from parents all weekend about said projects, I got "talked" to by a fellow co-worker about a student whose parents "helped" him. WELL pardon the fuck out of me but he needed to get the stupid report and term paper completed, especially since he was absent last week.

So when I come home and I am pissed off because you went to the local IGA and bought groceries with out talking to me about what we need, I tend to get the right to be pissed. You bought 6 bottles of juice, we had 6 already in the pantry, you bought 4 more bags of coffee, we had 3 in the pantry, you did not buy the bread we needed, yeah I am just a little pissed and justly so. Now you are fixing dinner and asking me where the pots are? Really?

I appriciate all of your help and hard work, but sometimes you make my already stressful job more stress filled!

This Sucks

2011-03-07T00:04:00.000-06:00

So they say that one bad apple ruins the bunch, well that is true my dear reader. I got fired this week, I get to finish out the school year, but I got fired.
Let me start from the beginning. Two years ago I graduated with a Master's Degree in Education. From my previous posts you know how difficult, yet rewarding this was. So I took a job, the first job that came my way. The job sucked, see my previous posts from 2009, but I got my foot in the door. When I ended that school year my cool supervisor told me she knew I did not fit in where I worked but that she talked to so and so and that she found me a place where I fit, right in my back yard.
Last year I started the school year off on maternity leave, but none the less when I came back I was the BEST teacher that I could be. In fact I think I knocked their socks off, because some co-workers told me I did.
At the end of last year my teaching assistant did something that pissed me off, she corrected me in front of my students for the fourth time. I was pissed, but I just ignored her for a while and thought she got the hint. See, she is way older than I am, she is old enough to be my mother. So there is this "respect your elders" sort of thing going on. I did not really tell her I was pissed, I just was really cool towards her, I still bragged about how great she was but I was upset. See you never undermine a supervisor, no matter if they are wrong or not.
So as the school year came to a close and we consolidated with the neighboring school district, we got our new assignments. I would be looping with some of the students that I had taught the year before and I would be teaching with Mrs. Tattle Tale down the hall. We would be splitting up the seventh grade case load.
As the summer ended I moved into my new classroom and told Mrs. Tattle Tale that she could have the teaching assistant the majority of the time and that we could share her during study hall.
The school year started and I thought things were rolling along just fine. I had a great group of kids and I felt that they were meeting all the challenges of the seventh grade. In late September I was called into my bosses office (not the principal) and was told that I should not be giving homework to special educational students. They had enough pressures and that homework was unnecessary. Albeit that my homework was a way for them to review for their spelling and vocabulary tests, but none the less I stopped just as I was directed to. After school one day I sort of bitched about it to a group of teachers, Mrs. Tattle Tale being one of the teachers, and I said what am I supposed to do "wipe their asses too?" Mrs. Tattle Tale got right in my face with her finger and in her crying whiny voice said "I take offense to that because I have special education children of my own." Her own flesh and blood are special education students, but they are in 5th grade, not seventh. She must have then gone to my supervisor to tattle on me, because in a moment fine readers you will understand my motive for posting such a long winded story.
Fast forward to January, after many snow days it was time for my yearly evaluation. My Supervisor (I have a few choice names, but now is not the time), came in to evaluate me and in my post evaluation conference she told me that my face is very expressive and she can tell when I do not like a student. She also told me that I need to work on my voice, that I talk really fast (as do most people who are nervous). It was also expressed in my evaluation that I did not get along well with co-workers. Ok, that being said I brought my evaluation home and let the Anti-Hippie go over it. He said that everything that was 'wrong' with my evaluation was contradicted in the next part. I was not worried. I would work on my voice and letting my face show how I was feeling.
In late January I was evaluated by my principal, he told me I am a great teacher, and that experience would make me better. All in all a wonderful evaluation. I am only a second year teacher, I know that I am not proficient in any area.
In early February I was again evaluated by my Supervisor. Last week after an IEP meeting I was asked by said Supervisor to stay after so that she could go over my evaluation. I agreed because I obviously did not know what was coming.
As we are going over the evaluation, she again comes to the part about me not getting along with co-workers, I then said do not beat around the bush, is this about my co-worker Mrs. Tattle Tale? She told me it was, I then explained that Mrs. Tattle Tale set me up a few times this year and she is not sharing our teaching assistant. A note was made in the evaluation and as she got to the last line she said "and it is with this evaluation that I am recommending to the board that you not be hire next year."
WTF? I am the THIRD person that Mrs. Tattle Tale has gotten fired, I am a DAMN good teacher, and REALLY.?

That my dear reader is why this SUCKS.
On a side note, some parents have found out about this and they are pissed, my principal is PISSED, and everyone of my co-workers besides Mrs. Tattle Tale and teacher assistant ARE PISSED. Look out because KARMA is a bitch!

EPIC Fail

2011-02-16T19:10:00.000-06:00

Today, our wonderful school system failed some of our future generation. I teach junior high special education, so really I not only teach but I am a mother, a nurse, and a counselor. I have had this one student I will call him Slacker, who is a royal pain in my a**. He is always getting in fights, he is always bullying other students, and he make poor choices. His mother blames and blames for all of his problems, "it is the other kids", "his teachers do not like him", blah, blah, freaking blah. He never, EVER takes home homework, and if he does he fails to bring it back. He is a student, that needs some serious mental health counseling. He needs a strong male role model to show him the way. He would also benefit from a swift kick in the butt. Anytime something does not go his way, he becomes insubordinate, he fights authority and has utter disrespect for the rules. We (my team) recently discussed moving him to a behavioral class, mainly because of his behaviors. Monday he got in another fight on the bus, with a very loveable yet smelly young man. He got 10 days out of school suspension. He has been suspended or absent 35 of the 104 days we have been in school. He needs another placement.

The main reason for this post is to talk about Auto Mechanic. Auto Mechanic will never go on to a higher institution of learning, yet he is great with bikes, four wheelers, and even cars. My goal for him is to get him into a career program where he can get certified to work on motors, or cars, or something. I have a goal for this kid. I see promise in him, he got into a fight last week, his first fight this year. He was provoked by another student who, yes is very very annoying. He did some real damage to this student and sent him to the hospital. Now the student who was hospitalized did get hit in the head pretty good, and maybe just maybe suffered some temporary memory loss. But Auto Mechanic got an out of school suspension for 10 days. I had been hearing rumors all week that Auto Mechanic was going to be removed from my case load and placed into the school north of here, that is reserved for really BAD, BAD, dangerous students. This is his first fight of the school year, he has potential unlike Slacker student who is looking for the easy way out. WE failed Auto Mechanic, in a big way.
It is all I can do to focus on what I need to be focusing on right now, I feel like an utter failure, I failed, we failed, and this time we can't fix it. Auto Mechanic is going to go be with some really BAD kids, and I see this as a spiral and now Auto Mechanic has no reason to even try. WE FAILED.

Lettuce

2011-02-14T18:19:00.000-06:00

I love to garden, that being said I traditionally plant lettuce on Valentine's Day. But alas, it really is to wet to plant anything, even in my containers which are nasty, yucky messes. So tonight I carried them up on to the back porch where hopefully they will thaw and drain so that later on this week I can plant me some lettuce!
I am also planning the garden for later on this spring. I have so many plans and good intentions, though with three kids my best laid plans sometimes take the back burner. I understand that winter is a part of the whole seasonal process and that winter winds and snow make for a more enjoyable spring and summer. But long about this time of year I become very anxious as I want to go out and play in the dirt!
On the "to do list" for this week, get some lettuce in the dirt!

I am Shellfish

2011-02-03T12:19:00.000-06:00

For those of you familiar with the Junie B. Jones series of beginning chapter books, you will know that this means selfish, for those of you who are not familiar I highly recommend these as a read aloud, they are laugh out loud hilarious, but I digress.
I am being very shellfish right now, I want my body back, I want my bed back, and I want a normal relationship with my dearest Anit-Hippie. Looking back on it, I have nursed babies for over 72 months, not continually but as of lately I am going on 48 months of almost straight nursing. I want my breasts back. I love nursing, I love the sounds that babies make while they nurse, I love it when babies look up at you with that nourished look in their eyes, I love being the sole food source for babies for the first 8 months of their lives, but I want my boobies back. The current champion nurser, Danger Hawk, can almost one handed, get up my shirt and into the nursing cami. all by him self. He is currently at the stage where I am trying to wean him and he is protesting every minute of it. It does not help that he has been my sick kid, and nursing makes both he and I feel better.
Eddy, nursed until he was about 18 months old and one day he just did not want to anymore, there were other things to keep him occupied. Gnat, had to quit nursing because I became pregnant with Danger Hawk. Like I mentioned before, I am weaning so he only gets one or two chances a day to nurse, but he will hang on until I shut down operations, by pulling down my shirt and buttoning up the hatches.
I want my bed back, I think the whole idea of a family bed is a wonderful idea, it works for some and not for others. I have enjoyed having all three kids in my bed at one time or another. Currently Danger Hawk and I share the queen bed in my room, and Gnat and the Anti-Hippie share the twin bed upstairs in the kid's room. Gnat is a very anxious child, and she knows when you remove yourself from her bed, and she usually makes her way downstairs to our bed. Some parenting experts say that one should never share a bed, because it is too dangerous and because kids belong in their own beds. Whatever, I have enjoyed having my kids close to me and sharing snuggles and sleep with them. I want my bed back.
This however poses another problem, the problem of intimacy with my husband. Occasionally, we have relations in the early morn, while the peeps are still asleep, as we rarely share a bed anymore. Sometimes, albeit rare, we sneak off like teenagers while a dvd is playing or they are occupied. Other times we just make rain-check deals with one another. I want my husband back.
Children are in deed a blessing, I am blessed with three healthy children, sometimes they are not a blessing and I wish to be Shellfish.

What I Can't Say to anyone but my BFF's

2011-02-02T15:01:00.000-06:00

**** Disclaimer: the opinion here is mine and mine alone

,

I have posted on here before about my family-in-laws, and how irresponsible I think that they are, hey give me a break the Blog is titled "The World as I See It". Well they have gone and done it again, several times over since I last posted.
Let me recap, in the summer of 2006, they lost a baby to anacephaley, and did not get any genetic counseling before they tried to get pregnant again. In December of 2006, I found out I was pregnant with Gnat, by January of 2007 they were pregnant too.
Now these in-laws are 10 years younger than I, they did not go on to any kind of secondary school, and the husband, my BIL works for his father. I was so excited that we were pregnant together, she was not, she was excited that they were pregnant but more so at the prospect of having a baby. In April when we were finding out the gender of our baby, they found out that their baby had something wrong with her. By June they found out she was a girl, and that some of her insides were forming on the outsides. In July when Nat was born (naturally) they came and visited us in the hospital and told me that they could not wait to meet their baby "Princess" two weeks later she arrived 2 months early. Princess, ended up having shortened bowel syndrome and was in the hospital for the first 5 months of her life. Fast forward a year and she is on the organ donor list in need of a small bowel. Now I say all of this and I seem really cold hearted to the fact that they lost a baby and now had a baby with a ton of health issues, but I am not cold hearted, in fact quite the opposite. I love Princess, she and Gnat are best cousin buddies, I just resent the fact that SIL does not work, yet complains and tries to get rid of her kids every chance she gets, but acts the part of a martyr when she talks about all the struggles they have had with Princess.
Anyway back to my post, in February of 2009, they got the call that a small bowel was available and that they needed to hot foot it up to Chi-Town to get Princess prepped. In deed it was a match, and that was great, but here I go again, another baby had to die in order for Princess to live.
Princess's transplant went well and she was home by April, at which time they were pregnant again. They were living at my mother in laws, they had lost their house because they could not pay for it (SIL always wanted a newer house), they were driving vehicles that belonged to my FIL and my MIL and now she still was not working.
Fast forward still, we had baby Danger Hawk in July, I started a new job in September and they had Baby Fat Cheeks in December. Meanwhile they were getting anxious to move out of MIL's house, so I suggested public housing to myself, um yeah that was shot down like a lead balloon, in my head! Well some dumb sucker offered them a newly remodeled 3BR ranch house for contract for deed. They got a house last April, complete with cable tv. But still she is not working. Over the summer my kids and I would walk to their house so that the Bestie Cousins could play.
Fast forward again to November, and they get the call that they have just been awarded a Make a Wish and Princess wants to go to see the Disney Princesses. They also won a Christmas wish from a local radio station. Ok, I am not denying that it is hard having lost a child, and having a child who needs constant medical attention, but every chance SIL gets she throws that up in everyone's face. Everyone here in town thinks that they are so special because they have lost so much. No one realizes that they set themselves up for this: #1 by getting married so young and having such and outlandish wedding 25K, #2 by not getting genetic testing after the several mis-carriages she had before loosing the baby, #3 by mooching off DAD and MOM, #4 letting everyone think that by having a sick kid that means you can't work.
Fast forward to this week, they are getting ready to leave for their trip. Princess is 3 what is she going to remember about this? What about all the germs on the plane, in the hotel, and in the actual theme park? She was actually just in the hospital with a compromised immune system a few weeks ago.
Well I hope they have fun, I hope that one day they realize what they are doing and how wrong it is to those of us who know the whole truth.

I Found Him

2011-02-02T12:16:00.000-06:00

I have not posted in almost a year and here I am feeling sorry for myself so I decided that I needed to post a secret that has been the bane of my existence for a couple of weeks. I found "my Baby Daddy" on Facebook. I was bored one night and was holding a sleeping kid and surfing and lurking on Facebook. This surfing and lurking thing has become a past time for me, as I like to see how the other half lives; anyway I typed in his name in the Friend Box and searched. The search netted me over 75 people to look through, and then I saw a familiar face, holding a kid. Oh shit, I thought, no I take that back I thought a whole bunch of stuff, but oh shit works. I clicked on his name and I could view his page but he did not have much activity, so then I searched his friends and found his brother, and then I saw the baby. Myka is her name, I do not know how old she is or who her Mama is, but I had these feelings.
I felt like I was sneaking around on my very loving and very wonderful husband, I felt shame that I have made it almost, albeit in the age of computers not totally, impossible for him to see his son, I felt sad because there are some grandparents out there who will never get to enjoy Eddy Haskel and all of his antics, and then I felt angry because of what he did to me. So for the past few weeks I have been internalizing all of these feelings and it is not fair to my new family that I am acting this way. Have I deprived my own kid, by not letting him know that I know where his dad is? Will my Eddy go out looking for him someday? Will Baby Myka know that she has an awesome half brother out there somewhere? Has the "Baby Daddy" changed?
All of these questions weigh heavily on my conscience and I wonder sometimes what life would have been like if I had never met him nor gotten pregnant at such a young age. I believe in some sort of destiny, but what if?... What if..
So as I keep on lurking I am thankful that I have a husband who is not abusive, who loves me, and appreciates me.
But now I know he is out there and I wonder if he has found me yet?

Listening to the sound of silence

2010-05-21T16:00:00.001-05:00

Crabby Patty is giving me the silent treatment right now and it is wonderful. She is interfering with my parenting style and I let her know that I did not appreciate it, therefore my phone has not rung in 72 hours. It has been pure bliss. When Crabby Patty finds nothing wrong with the fact that I do indeed have three kids; that I am not raising them 'her' way; and that it is 2010 and kids are different than they were even 30 short years ago, she calls me all the time. She calls to tell me about so and so down the street, she calls to tell me about her horse who won the race, or about what my dad did. She calls all the time when she is not mad at me, right now she must be mad at me, because I am listening to the sound of silence.

Hair (not the musical)

2010-05-20T16:38:00.003-05:00

I teach special education. Some days I am rewarded with students who know the answer, some days I am rewarded when a student comes to school, and some days I find it really hard to be a teacher. Today was one of those days.
I have a student who is 13 and a sixth grader for the second time. She comes from a very dysfunctional home. Her mom is raising three of her own kids plus a grand baby. Her mom probably uses methamphetamine and likes that kind of life-style. My student is very street wise, she dates and is probably sexually active with older men. She probably self medicates with god knows what. She also has a great big giant dread lock on the top of her head, the dread is from about a year of not taking care of her hair (this was not a planned dread). This student has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals but never stays long enough to see any results. When she is at school she tries her best to go home, with faking sickness, faking heavy flow periods, self mutilation, I could go on and on. Let me just say when she is in my class, I let her sleep.
Today, I had the school social worker help me call in a professional to help her get her hair under control. After an hour of working on her hair, a person not familiar with the situation would not be able to tell, but I was very pleased with the results. She was able to free several large clumps of hair from the 'hair-ball'. The professional said she would come back tomorrow and spend the whole afternoon. I am a teacher, I should be teaching nouns verbs, I should be teaching writing, and reading. Instead, I spent an entire afternoon convincing a student that I saw progress on her hair. I do what I can, but after today I can say that I have really seen and heard almost all!

Three in diapers

2010-05-18T16:24:00.002-05:00

Eddy Haskel was diagnosed with encopresis several years ago. I have tried numerous doctors and self help books looking for a cure. Over the past few months I thought we had moved passed the pants pooping. Every book and doctor that we have ever gone to, have told me he needs to retrain his bowels. I have tried setting timers, letting him have the Gameboy while on the pot, pro-biotic yogurt, Metamucil, Fiber One, almost anything on the market that makes one move their bowels I have tried. Eddy continues to poop his pants. I can smell it the second that he walks in the door, I get angry, I yell, I scream, and that is not what I am supposed to do. I am supposed to ask him to finish having said bowel movement, get him clean underwear, and help him get cleaned up. Well, I do not do that either, wanna guess why? Because I have 2 other kids in diapers. One who is almost more potty trained than Eddy.
Last night I let him ride his bike, it was raining but I needed a break from him. I called him in a couple of hours later and he walked past me and the smell hit me. He sat in my favorite chair, thus causing the smell to get onto my chair. I asked him to go clean up and bring down his soiled clothing. He took a 30 minute shower and has still failed to bring down the dirty clothes for me. At dinner when I called him down, same thing; the smell of fecal matter. I asked him why he came down here when he had poop on his butt; his response was "I did not want you to get mad at me when you called me so I got up from pooping and did not wipe my butt." WTF? did not wipe your ass, came down the first time I called you? Bullshit.
I am tired of cleaning shit out of pants, I am tired of having an almost teenager who still shits his pants, I am tired of being nice about it.

Change, not the kind in the bottom of your purse

2010-05-15T10:58:00.003-05:00

Is is bad that I am so resistant to change?
I really get worked up when things do not go according to my schemata. Take for instance next school year, as previously posted next school year we will be consolidating with a neighboring school district. This means I will be teaching a different grade level, I will be with a different team of teachers, and I will be in a different classroom. I am really anxious about the change, I walked into this job with a very bad taste in my mouth from my first year of teaching. I walked into this job not knowing what lay in store, I walked into this job with much joy in my heart because I have known all along that I am a good teacher. I was told that my sixth grade team was a difficult one, full of veteran teachers who were also resistant to change and who had a bad taste in their mouths because of previous special education teachers. Well, low and behold I broke the mold, I got along splendidly with my team and was able to make suggestions that would benefit all students. I looked forward to going to work. I was accepted and respected.
Yesterday we met with the new team of teachers from the school we are consolidating with, and they like most are apprehensive about change. The meetings went awful, we did not get our room assignments like promised and one teacher came in with a huge chip on her shoulder. I left school yesterday in tears, for the first time in a long time I felt anxious about next year.
I know I will be working with great teachers next year, a different kind of team but not all that bad. Then I did the unthinkable, I let my mouth open and words come out before my brain had time to filter what I was about to say. I told them if next year does not work out then I am quitting. Huh? What?
With the state of the economy and jobs in education in short supply what was I thinking. I was not, I was being selfish and resisting the change. Over the next few weeks as the Red Bird mascot disappears and is replaced with a panther, I have some reflecting to do. I need to make this about the new group of students whose lives I can make an impact upon, I need to just "get on the bus" and be happy that I have a job and that this is what I have wanted for a really long time. I need to let go and enjoy the ride.

Hey there Earthy Birthy How the Heck are You?

2010-05-14T22:36:00.003-05:00

Hello Blog

I am Earthy Birthy Mama, you might remember me from about 9 months ago. Well hopefully I am back.
Let's see, where to begin; let me do a quick recap of the past nine months.
August 2, 2009 we welcomed Danger Hawk to our family. Eddy Haskel started the fifth grade. Two weeks into the school year Eddy placed a fake snake on the chair of his teacher, who by the by is deathly afraid of snakes. Great way to start and end the year, Eddy. So needless to say, we have had a helluva school year.
In September my Anti Hippie became a Chief in the Navy and I drove three kids up to Michigan to his pinning ceremony. I was honored to be the one to pin my husband, and I am so proud of him. He is now constantly on the computer and phone putting out fires for the United States Navy.
In October I returned to work after an extended maternity leave. I teach 6th, 7th, and 8th grade language arts. My school district and the school district in which I live are consolidating and this school year has been one of celebrating the old and looking toward the new. I work with a wonderful team of veteran teachers and I know now that this is what teaching is all about, having hated my job last school year.
In November I hosted Thanksgiving dinner which was a success. In December my Eddy Haskel turned 11 and we celebrated the holidays with over indulgence and family.
January, February, and March passed in a blur of snow and really crappy weather. I taught units on the Iditarod, recycling, and Dr. Seuss. I still really liked teaching. Baby Danger Hawk went from being a crying baby to being a crying, drooling, and able to roll and scoot everywhere baby.
In March we left the 'not so good' babysitter and now have a sitter that comes to my house to watch the kids, uses cloth diapers, folds my laundry, and sometimes even does my dishes!
In April we planned our garden and had the hottie from the neighboring town come and till up our garden and our back yard where the Koi pond used to be. As April progressed Baby Danger Hawk began crawling. We got a new puppy. Whom I love and hate with a passion. I love the fact that I will have a dog that the kids can grow up with, but I HATE puppies! I enjoyed a night of pizza and libations with Earth Muffin and Mr. Earth Muffin. I went to see Jake's Leg with a bachelorette party. I also went to the ER with Gnat, who fell in the shower and hit her eye.
Now we come to May and boy what a May it has been already. I was informed that I will be teaching 7th grade next year, as I previously mentioned we are consolidating with the neighboring school district and we are making preparations for next year. This means up to 58 classroom moves and a change that means great things for our kids, but for people of the community it is the end of an era. So as we come into May and my school year ends, I am still here. More laundry, a dirtier house, growing kids, busier schedules. I love my crazy family and when they smile at me, or tell me they love me, it makes it all worth while. Glad I am back, I need to make this a regular habit. See ya tomorrow!

We interrupt this story to bring you something completely different!

2009-09-17T15:23:00.005-05:00

On Sunday August 2, 2009 at 7:04 a.m. the Anti-Hippie and I welcomed our third child into to our family. Danger Hawk entered this world after 3 days of labor, sunny side up and star gazing!
We found out we were pregnant with Danger Hawk in December of 2008. I thought I had the flu, so I was not feeling particularly well. I was still nursing Princess Gnat so my periods had not returned regularly, so we were not quite surprised when I took 3 at home pregnancy tests and they all came back positive.
I was very lucky that I found a teaching job in January for the remainder of the school year, the job did not quite fit my personal educational philosophy ( but that is quite another post). I finished out the school year and in May was happy to be at home on summer vacation.
My pregnancy progressed through the summer and I had a great time being pregnant, up until those last three painful weeks. I was due August 13, and from July 28th on I started experiencing some pre-labor contractions. During this time, The Anti-Hippie, had passed his boards in the Navy and became a Chief Selectee for the 2010 Season of Pride (this too is another post), anyway this took the Anti-Hippie away from the house for a day or two at a time, where he was busy working on 'Navy Stuff'. At the beginning of August, there was to be a Navy Meet and Greet for all the Selectee Spouses and Families along with all the Genuine Chiefs.
The Meet and Greet went something like this: Hello I am The Anti-Hippie's wife, nice to meet you Chief So and So, Yes I am in labor I have been having contractions every eight minutes for the past 24 hours. Yes, I can't wait to meet him (baby Danger Hawk). No I do not think he will come while we are here. No, please do not tell me your birth story, about the labor from hell. Thanks nice to meet you too!
We eventually ate lunch, which the Selectees over engineered for, they expected 100 people, and only about 40 showed up. So my Husband and his troop of merry Selectees cleaned up dinner while the Genuine Chiefs had a meeting with all the wives, telling us that the next 8 weeks would be difficult, our husbands needed our support, yada yada... I am not bragging here, but while he was talking Danger Hawk decided to give some really good contractions, so I grimaced and listened, all the while thinking, GAWD I wish this baby would get here!!
After the Meet and Greet my husband was expected to clean up and so I went home with Princess Gnat and we got ready for bed, I was not in a lot of pain at this time, but I could tell that this baby would be here soon.
The Anti-Hippie arrived home from cleaning up at around 10:00pm and by 10:30 we were all fast asleep in our beds. At midnight The Anti-Hippie got up to go pee and I also had to pee, so I tried to race him to the bathroom, en-route I felt dampness around my bottom and we decided that my water was leaking. We called the awesome Grandma down the street and she came to sit with the kids while we rushed to the hospital. It was a very foggy night, and our drive was slower due to this.
We called ahead to the hospital and then to our surprise when we got there the Anti-Hippie's mother who is an ER nurse was able to take us upstairs to the maternity floor.
I labored somewhat comfortably for the next few hours, and then it hit, my contractions were coming at about 3 minutes apart and I was feeling great pressure. The Anti-Hippie was so wiped from the previous days events that he laid on the sofa bed and kept telling me I was doing a great job. I really wanted a natural child birth, but by 5am the pressure was so great and I was so tired, that I said the magic word and I got an epidural. By the time the whole process was over I had an epidural by 5:45 and was able to sleep a bit in between contractions. The Anti-Hippie will tell you this made a world of difference in my labor, I was smiling, not from the drugs, but because the pain had eased up due to the epidural. by 6:45 am I was ready to push, I pushed for 10 minutes and by 7:04am Danger Hawk had arrived.
Although my birth did not go as I had planned, it was still a wonderful experience and I was still in control of my body. No nurse nor doctor had told me what to do, I did what I felt I needed to and I am happy to say that I am glad I did. I am also happy to report the family and I are doing well.

Chapter 4 (finally)

2009-09-17T14:47:00.003-05:00

My trip down to Anchorage was for the most part uneventful. Our Hitchhiking Ride dropped us off very near an REI store where I browsed the clearance rack for winter gear. I needed a coat and some pants. I bought a Gore-Tex coat (which I still wear) and a pair of Gore-Tex pants. From REI we perused the want-ads in search of a new used car for a couple of hundred dollars. We found a 1982 Subaru wagon about 15 miles away, we called for a taxi and went over to see the car.
The car was a yellow 4 door Subaru hatch-back with good tires and was for sale for a reasonable price, only problem was that it was a 5 speed. I had never learned how to drive a 5 speed, so Brian helped me get the car back to Fairbanks, on the way home we picked up a hitch-hiker and he camped with us in Denali. He was on his way to a hostel in Fairbanks, and we were happy for the company.
When I got back home to the cabin, Jacques was already at work and had left me an apologetic note. I ignored it, and promptly moved out. I had no where to go, so I slept in my car for a few nights. Brian had this friend who lived in North Pole, Alaska and he agreed to let me stay there and help with house work until I found a place to live. This guy, had a girl friend somewhere and he stayed with her most of the time. Now mind you Brian was still growing pot with Stina up in Gold-Stream Valley. I was still working at Denny's, and Jacques had taken our split pretty hard. He really wanted me back, but looking back on it now, I think he sensed that Brian was a bad apple.
By mid-September the leaves were off of the trees and the weather had turned cold, snow was coming and so was winter, and I still did not have a place to live. I looked in the classifieds each day, finally I found a cabin for rent back in Fairbanks and relatively close to Denny's. This creepy guy was my land lord, and he claimed he would be spending the winter in New Zealand. He gave me an address where I could send my rent, but he also gave me the creepy peepers. The cabin was nothing more than a 12x12 box with a little furnace that left everything black, because it burned oil and then it kind of leaked into the cabin, I would wake each morning kind of sooty looking.
Brian was working on harvesting his first crop and someone shot his wolf. His neighbor up in Gold Stream was tired of the wolf getting into the garbage so he shot and killed the wolf. This devastated Brian and he knew he must get this crop harvested and find another location to grow.
Meanwhile, Stina confronted me and tried to beat me up over Brian. I told Brian to leave. Stina then went up to the grow house and harvested all that could be harvested and tried to skip town. She changed the locks on the doors and when that neighbor who shot the wolf, saw Brian trying to get in, he called the cops. The cops found Brian inside the house and started snooping around, they wondered why there were rooms in this house with locks on the outside, well one thing led to another and they figured out he was growing up there and that led to a call to the Alaskan Drug Task-Force. They confiscated about $60,000.00 worth of pot and grow equipment. Now the ironic part of this is that Stina had gone in before she changed the locks and harvested quite a bit of pot, and was driving around with it in her car. When Brian caught up with her, he was able to re-coup some of the crop, but never made any money off of it.
I was at work the day this happened, Brian was not arrested, but they confiscated everything, and he came over to my cabin where he wanted to live. I kicked him out, I told him I wanted no part of this, and he left. He told me he was going back to Texas to get some money and to give me a break. I should have never let him come back. 2 weeks later I found him sitting on my front stoop one afternoon after work, and he told me he had some money and that he would take care of me. In the time that he was gone I started working for a guy who had a dog kennel who was going to let me live in his handler's cabin and learn how to maintain a kennel and most importantly have a team of sled-dogs. I did not invite Brian to live with me, he was trying all means necessary to get me back. And then I made the biggest life changing decision EVER, I let him come back and live with me.

Chapter 3 cont.

2009-06-15T15:29:00.002-05:00

By July Jacques and I had a comfortable groove going in our little shack in the woods. I could feel my need to move on though. I do not know why but there was a period in my life where I got bored in relationships and wanted more, even though what I was really looking for was right there the whole time. By the end of July and into August, I was partying really hard, I worked through the grave yard shift and had moved up to 3pm-11pm. Jacques was still on grave yard, so we did not get to party together too often.

One night I was asked by a co-worker to go tripping with him, he was in the Army and apparently LSD did not show up on drug tests or something like that. He had liquid acid, and I tripped balls strong for about 8 hours. I freaked only once, and to this day I prefer shrooms to acid. I had an awakening, and felt the need to move on from Jacques. I had a bad come down, I felt so bad, but I had to work the next day, so on top of no sleep and trippin balls, I went to work. Where I met my baby daddy.

I was still coming down while I was at work, and feeling really bad. I had just gotten into a big fight with Jacques, who accused me of being irresponsible, and although I did not see it at the time really cared for my well being. Anything could have happened to me while I was out there. Anyway I went to work feeling really shitty about myself but knowing that I needed another change. Sitting at the counter was this red headed guy I had never seen before and out in the parking lot was a piece of shit car with a wolf inside. I kid you not a real live wolf, that happened to belong to the redhaired guy. Now at the same time this new girl started working at Denny’s and she said she was with the red-haired guy. I played nice and befriended her. In hindsight it was to get to the red-haired guy. We all became friends and I quickly found out that she was not his girl friend, she was a front for the operation he had going up in the valley.

His name was Brian, he migrated to Alaska via hitch-hiking, and had set up a grow operation. He was not too discrete about his operation and told me all about it. I even went up a few times to see it. He had also bought the wolf pup off of a guy, and it was a real wolf. And not to be the antithesis of white trash, he had a red nosed pit bull dog. I really liked him though, I would see him when Jacques was at work. I told him that he was the reason for my awakening. This girl I befriended on the other hand had other ideas, she thought that she and Brian were an item, and looking back on it now maybe they were.

His Side: Her name was Stina, short for Christina. She came to Alaska with a heroine addict, and pulled into Girdwood (hippie Mecca of Alaska). Brian was living on a hill in a converted bus, and Stina just happened to pull up in front of his place with this heroine addict friend of hers, and Brian thought that he might just help them out. Well Stina’s friend left to go on a binge and Brain’s pit bull attacked another dog, all within the same time frame, so Brian needed to get the hell out of dodge. He convinced Stina that she could be a front for his grow operation and he would split whatever he made with her, plus the cost of her being the front and having a real job. So when I met them it was just a business deal.

Her Side: She was destined to meet Brian and he wanted her, so they moved up to Fairbanks and they together started a grow operation. She was going to be the front and make have the job. She was totally in love with him, and when she found out about he and I shit totally hit the fan.

During the month of August I had also saved up enough money to go down to Anchorage and get some gear for winter and buy a piece of shit car. On one of my long weekends, Brian and I took off for Anchorage. Now mind you, he had a wolf, dog, and a grow operation still going up in the valley. Stina still thought she was a part of this, and Jacques had no idea where I had gone for the weekend.

We hitch hiked down to Anchorage, we were lucky enough to get one ride all the way down. I was so scared yet elated that I was out there, doing something, that probably no one that I knew had ever done!!

Take it on the Run Chapter 3

2009-06-08T12:04:00.003-05:00

That first night we found a Laundromat for a shower and then went to Safe-Way to stock up on groceries and to set up a little house keeping. Now you may be wondering about the showering at a Laundromat, but it is true, for $2.00 you could get your own private shower for 15 minutes. So feeling refreshed we went back to our cabin and set up house. I believe this was a Thursday night that we arrived in town, and later that weekend it would be the annual Summer Solstice Celebration.

Jacques had gone to school in Fairbanks the previous semester and stored some of his stuff with various friends. Throughout the next few days these friends stopped by to drop off his stuff and to wish us well. This is when I met Tyler. Tyler was of legal age and he worked at Burger King, he rode his bike to work every day, down a big hill to work and up the big hill from work. He was like that cat you fed one time, he always knew when dinner was and he always had a little something for you if you threw some food his way. He and I hit it off really well, not in an inappropriate kind of way, in the way that young twenty- some-things often do, drink, smoke, hang out type of way. Tyler had a trailer for his bike and would haul water up to his cabin. He was always up for a good time and was an enjoyable friend.

During this transition time, Jacques and I began to look for jobs with various hours we interviewed at Fred Meyers, at Safe-Way, for Merry Maids, and at the farthest most Denny’s in the world. We both took jobs at Denny’s working different shifts. This was fine, because I would drop him off for his shift and bring the car and my bike with me to my shift and he would drive the car home and I would bike home when my shift was finished. There were bike paths everywhere and we only lived a few miles from the Denny’s. By a few miles I mean like 5 or so.

I began saving money as I was earning it hand over fist, working the midnight shift during tourist season. I was able to buy the afore-mentioned bike, and help out with rent and groceries. During this time, we also had met some phreaks that we worked with at Denny’s and began hanging out with them. They were always up for a good time when we were not working. Jacques and I also would spend hours wandering in the woods at Fairbanks University and taking car rides up to the Artic Circle and just getting out and hiking all around.

On one such journey, we drove to Circle, Alaska. It was awesome to visit a real Native village. On the way home we suffered a flat tire, and we had a spare but it went flat too. We drove about 75 miles on this flat tire, until we got back to Fairbanks, when we pulled over and were going to hoof it back home, some nice stranger stopped and took me home and took Jacques to get the tire repaired and then back to the car. This was one of the first experiences with the nice people in Alaska.

Meanwhile my dad had sent me a letter asking me to explain to my relatives back home that I was on a vacation in Alaska, and that I would be returning soon and not to worry about me. He still wanted me to come home, he was very scared for me knowing what the real world was full of, as I was yet to discover.

2009-05-09T14:40:00.002-05:00

Leaving You Behind
Chapter 2

On a very sunny Tuesday in June of 1997, I packed up my Rubbermaid boxes in the 1985 Chevy Caprice Station wagon and left my home in Illinois. I had left a note for my parents who were not at home at the time, my dad was volunteering at a local native American site and my mother was at a school administrators academy in the capital city. The note I wrote in short said that I had failed at my attempts to become a real adult in Illinois so I was leaving for Alaska with the hopes of becoming a real adult in the North Woods. We then drove to the capital city ourselves to register the car in his name and to get some supplies from a big box store for our trip. Our plan was to drive straight through. From Illinois to Fargo, North Dakota cross into Canada and take that all the way to White Horse which is just on the other side of the boarder from Alaska. Now mind you this was all pre- 911 and all you needed to cross the boarder was a birth certificate and a valid licence.

We started our trip at around 5pm on a that Tuesday leaving behind us the capital city and by 7:00 am on Wednesday we were crossing the boarder just north of Fargo North Dakota. I was done crying and was ready to start my adventure, on the way to the boarder we found a few roaches in the ashtray and had a celebration about being on the road. Once across the boarder, the country looks much the same as it does down here, rolling farm land and green pastures. By night fall we were half way there. On Thursday morning we stopped here and Jacques called his family.

They wanted to know why I came with him, they wanted to know if we were okay and that my dad was frantically looking for me and that I should call them as soon as he got off the phone with his parents. Now mind you I am 19 years old, so I called home and talked to my old man. I heard fear in his voice, I realized that the past few days or 72 hours had aged him. He was sad I ran, he wished he could have seen my anger and pain. He told me he had felt the same way when he was 19, because he was getting ready to go to war. He told me he loved me and that if I wanted when I got to Alaska that he would wire me money and I could come home. He told me he was sorry and that he was angry, but to BE SAFE, NOT GET MARRIED, and to NOT GET PREGNANT. I promised him that I would be safe, I would not get married, and that I had no plans on getting pregnant. I told him I would call him when we made it to our final destination, Fairbanks, and that I loved him but this was something that I needed to do, for me. He understood, but then told me my mother was in despair and asked how I could ever do this to her? Well, I told him that was easy, she never told me about the cancer and she fought her demons on her own so I guessed I would too!

After three days of driving straight through, we crossed the boarder at Whitehorse in the Yukon on Friday afternoon on our way to Fairbanks. We arrived Friday evening, in Fairbanks to our little cabin in the woods. It looked like a clubhouse, I wished I had pictures of it, I have other pictures but none of the cabin. We went into town to find a laundromat with showers, because we did not stop the entire time while we were on the road to shower, only for gas and to pee. We also needed water and groceries, as this cabin only had electricity.

stay tuned for more, I am nearing the end of my school year and I have been very busy, hopefully summer vacation will bring time for me to write more, it makes me feel so good!

Chapter One cont.

2009-04-23T18:05:00.002-05:00

I was doing things in my own time for the first time in my life, although my timing at this point actually sucked. In college I was making very mediocre grades. By the time second semester started in the winter I had moved out of Jane's apartment and was back home living under my parent's roof, with their rules. I was also working at McDonald's. I had alienated myself from all of the boyfriends that I had, and I got involved with a much older guy, who used to be a body builder. He was old enough to be my dad.

Let me just say that I fell for this guy hard. It could have been his awesome music collection, or his awesome drugs, or just that I was pathetic and very lonely, and most of all heartbroken that 'real life' was not really what I expected. I was short on cash, so I pawned a lot of stuff. The only thing I really had to pay for was the car, but when you party and you need gas and cigarettes you sometimes have to make ends meet to keep the car and the insurance. By the time Spring semester was ending, I was fed up with my fast food job, with my parents, with my stupidity when it came to choosing friends and boyfriends, that all I really wanted to do was leave. That is exactly what I did.

I knew that Jacques would be back for a few weeks during the summer to pick up what he needed to live in Alaska, and then he would be driving back up north. What a better adventure than to leave home and go three thousand plus miles away. I just knew that things would be better up north, and that nothing from here would follow me. I dumped the thirty- something guy, quit my job at McDonald's, kissed a girl, and planned my escape. During this time of transition, I seemed happier, I was experimenting with my sexuality, and all the while I was secretly planning my escape in June. I packed tubs and hid them in my closet, I signed up for a credit card just in case, in my mind I was setting things right. I returned all those things that I collected that did not belong to me, like books, and records and the like. I hung out with friends and let them know my plans. When Jacques came back, we planned our trip back. Now mind you his parents were totally cool with him going up north, they had no idea I was going too, and my parents were clueless about my plans until I was almost to Fargo, North Dakota.

I remember so vividily the day we left....

Chapter One

2009-04-19T14:06:00.003-05:00

I have decided to start my book on my blog. The Anti Hippie told me years ago that writing a book would be very therapeutic.

Wishing for a Pair of Long Underwear

The dream is always the same, I always wake up in a cold sweat and the neck of my sleep-shirt is usually wet with perspiration. I dreamed about him again last night. I dreamed he opened the window and carried the boy off into the night. I dreamed I was there and I could see him. Icould also hear the empty promises he made to the boy, about trips and fun. When I wake up, I usually go upstairs and check on the boy, just to make sure.

Last summer I swore I saw him at the local public pool. I was incognito in my wide brimmed sun-hat and sunglasses, and the boy does not look anything like he did when he was little, when I left. I guess my irrational fear comes from not knowing where in time and space he really is. Is he here, is he there, is he dead, is he alive, or in jail?

The boy is now ten, but this story and his story begin twelve plus years ago, when I actually left for the first time. I had an ex-boyfriend who was going to school in Alaska. Jaques had graduated early from high-school and left for school in January. I was heart broken but I was 2 years his elder and was in college, we agreed breaking up would be the best thing. While he was away in the great northern expanse, I was at home miserable. I had just been forced to move back home with my parents after a failed attempt of living on my own. I lived in an apartment I could not afford, with a friend who was addicted to prescription pain medication. I was also flunking out of college because partying and getting high were so much more enjoyable at that time in my life.

So here I was living at home, with my parents whose marriage was pretty shaky after my mother's solo battle with breast cancer and builing a brand new house, which exceeded it's budget. During the previous summer, my mother un beknownst to me had found out she had breast cancer. I was away a camp as a counselor and only found out because my brother had a big mouth and could not let me leave after the fourth of July knowing that on my birthday she would have a maestoctomy. My mother apparently did not let anyone know about the cancer, she told my dad and I guess my brother, but she did not want to burden me with her news, nor any of her friends. Whom I found out later were really alienated by her behavior. No my mother was very stoic and stayed at the hospital by herself while part of her womanhood was removed. My parents did not tell me about the cancer until after I returned from working at the summer camp. I was hurt to say the least, I was uncomfortable around either one of them. I felt betrayed, which would ultimately lead to my betrayal of them. When I got home from camp that summer, my mother actually asked me if I wanted to see her scar and if I would go bra shopping with her, I was so angry and hurt that I refused.

In my anger I moved out with Jane. Jane was an addict. She saw about 10 doctors, non of whom knew anything about the other. She took prescription medication like it was candy. I was oblivious to this, until years later when I spoke to a mutual friend, after Jane had died. Jane lived the high life, she was the heiress to a family that owned about 15 gas stations. She lived out of her means too, but on the river of denial. Jane was a fun first roommate, she was either passed out on the couch, or wanted to go shopping. She was older, but not a mother figure. We had some good times, but looking back on it now I probably could have saved Jane's life. I was so young and so naive, though.

At this time of transition, I was juggling several boyfriends. I had one in the town where the summer camp was, I had old faithful who would always be there, I had Jacques in the fall before he left, and I had the bar owner with crabs. I am really lucky that crabs were the only STD that I came in contact with during that time of being young and stupid.

Stay tuned for more..... i like it so far

Letter to random annoying people I know

2009-04-13T13:59:00.002-05:00

Dear Neighbors,

You are very sweet people, you are nice to my kids and my dogs, I cannot really complain about you except that you burned in your yard the same day I had fresh clothes hanging on the line. They were not my boys grubby clothes nor were they dog towels, no they were my good maternity work clothes. Now, I know you were cleaning out your garage but you saw me painstakingly hanging up each item, yet you still set the smelly particle board on fire, the wind caught the smoke and drew it right up to my clean hanging laundry. Now, I would not have minded this at all, because I left the clothes on the line yesterday while celebrating Easter, but in the evening before I could get them down it started to rain, so I had to go out this morning and get wet sopping laundry off of the line and wash it again. Thanks again for being nice to my kids and my dogs, but please before you burn look across the alley at my line and make sure there is nothing hanging on it.

Love, EBM

Dear B and T,

Okay first of all congratulations on the successful transplant. Miss M looks great and I am happy that you will be heading back home today, after 2 long months in Chicago for her recovery. Please remember that you are returning to your mom's house because you quit making house payments and just last week the bank took back your house. Your house which by the way was still full of your stuff, scratch that still full of stuff you borrowed or were given by various family members and friends for wedding gifts and at baby showers. You even left your $1200 wedding dress in the house. WTF? I just want to thank you for the lawn ornaments that I went over and got, and for the like new papasan baby swing that was left to mold in your garage, I cleaned that sucker up and although there are a few stains that lemon juice and the sun could not get out it is as good as new and ready for our new arrival coming in August. Which by the way brings up yet another point, YOU WANT TO HAVE MORE KIDS RIGHT NOW??? Did you not just lose a baby in the summer of '06 and just about lost Miss M? Do you not think you should go in for genetic testing first before you selfishly plan for more kids while you do not have a car and have moved back in with your mother and mother in law??
Oh yeah and one more thing that really pissed me off, YOU GOT i phones? WTF? We looked into i phones which do not have a family plan, which cost money, which once again do I have to remind you YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY!!!!

Well, I am happy that my niece is doing well and I can't wait to see you when you get home and if I do not really talk to you it is because I am biting my tounge trying to keep my freaking mouth shut.

Love to you all,
EBM

Spring Break the non-alcoholic version

2009-04-11T14:29:00.003-05:00

So break is almost over and this is when I begin my count down for the end of the school year. I did not really get much accomplished this break, what with chasing around an almost two year old and yelling at the punk who is also known as Eddy.
I did get my craft room organized and we are now able to sit in the game room and watch television. I have several piles for an upcoming yard sale and I half heartedly cleaned my house. For those of you who know me, know that I have ODC and I am factitious about having a clean house, but what is the point?
Why have a neat clean tidy house? I really have begun to let things go and I guess my house is the first thing to go!
On another note, if you ever get a new washing machine and it tells you to use the little bag for little socks and little things, please do so! The new washer was flashing an error code E-13, and I googled it and it said there was a water intake problem. When the Anti-Hippie got home from work in the morning I told him about the E-13 message, he messed with it but told me we would have to call someone to repair it! This was my brand new washer, we just got this in January. It was Saturday but I called places anyway, no one could come out until Tuesday at the earliest. I called Ace repairs and the receptionist told me that she would have her guy call me back because she did not know if they worked on Bosch appliances or not. Well Scott from Ace Repairs, called me back and told me he could come out on Monday, I told him I would see him then. Then Scott called me back and asked if I tried to unplug the washer, so I did. Still the E-13 message. Then Scott called back and asked if I tired to open the door, so I did. Still the E-13 message. Then Scott called back and this time I put him on the phone with the Anti-Hippie and Scott told him about the drain plug which could be plugged with a baby sock.
So the Anti-Hippie went to work taking apart my new washer. We found the drain plug and emptied the washer cookie sheet by cookie sheet into a dish pan, when it was finally emptied, he pulled out this really mutilated looking thing, which used to be a nursing pad. So let this be a lesson to you, if the instructions tell you to use the little mesh bag for smaller items please do so. I now have a working washer without the E-13 error code and a cute little pink mesh bag full of baby socks and breast pads!
To finish off my spring break tomorrow I will be typing some IEPs and making a new schedule for my new students who start on Tuesday. Hope y'all had a great Easter and a livlier spring break!!

The 'R' Word

2009-03-26T22:36:00.002-05:00

Last Friday I got an email from my assistant principal (my boss), asking to see me in her office when I had a minute. Right before I went to lunch I popped down to her office, and she asked me inside and closed the door. She told me she was concerned about something she had heard from two teachers about me. Well, the first thing that came to mind was that I did not tell her I was pregnant. (BTW, that is not her business!) Well, it turns out that these two teachers heard me use the R word in my classroom, once while students were present in the room.

I was in such shock that I could not even think of what to say. I would #1 never use that word in my room while students were present and #2 do not use that word, ever unless I am testing a kid who I feel would meet the qualifications for being retarded. So I sat there in her office with the door shut in total shock and disbelief. I was raised in an very open and loving home where the R word was worse than any cuss word that might slip from your mouth. I went to a local day care center with 2 boys who were, but I knew I should never talk about it and that I should be nice and caring to those 2 boys. I volunteered my high-school service hours in an Early Childhood Special Education Classroom where I met many a student who was, I volunteered at the Macoupin County ARC Camp Good Times Summer camp with many who were, I had a mother who was a special education teacher who taught those who were. I even attended the 10th anniversary of ADA 9 years ago with my own son. I am hurt at such accusations. I am hurt that my fellow colleagues could not come to me and voice their concerns with me in person, I also feel like someone is out to get me.

Well, Saturday a higher being spoke to me. On Saturday a gentleman and his grand kids came to take our fish pond away (another blog, I promise). His name is Bill. Well, Bill brought his big trailer over to pick up all the fish pond equipment, and out of his truck come his grand kids, and Gary. Gary is a down syndrome gentleman whom I worked with for many summers at the ARC camps. He remembered me! He even remembered the baby, who is now 10 year old Eddy. I know that some higher power sent Gary last Saturday to remind me that I am a good person who would never use the r word inappropriately. My boss has yet to meet with me, although I have sent her several emails about wanting to meet with her. I just want to tell her about Gary and myself.

Not now, gotta go, talk to you later

2009-03-19T21:51:00.002-05:00

It has been a long ass time since I blogged. I have no excuses except for the craziness of my life. Well we all got over being sick. That was until the 4 eye teeth decided to rupture the poor babe's gums, leaving her full of fever, runny shits, runny nose, no sleep, and now constipation. But,I believe she is milking this for all she is worth, because it means getting Popsicles, getting to nurse again, and getting away with being a complete bossy babe. I digress..

Eddy Haskel on the other hand is heading down the path of juvenile delinquency, he got 3 detentions with in a one week period. #1 was for 3 referrals for talking, served today, #2 was telling Mr. Mc the music teacher that he was not writing the punishment (insubordination) to be served next Thursday, and finally #3 for running in front of his teacher while they walked a block from school to the high school to see the play (being a jackass) to be served in two Thursdays. Eddy also played with some eggs, (vadalisim) and he tried to set the house on fire with a magnifying glass (arson). He cannot receive visitors, play video games, enjoy life, enjoy Legos, or anything for the next few weeks, or until the police come and get him. Instead of a college fund, we are saving money for bail and probably a lawyer.

Mr. Anti-Hippie is managing to piss me off too, yes I know he lives with me and he works a hell of a lot, but that is not an excuse for not having dinner atleast started when I get home, the house atleast picked up (not even dusted or vacumed) just picked up, and that is not an excuses for not having the laundry sorted, instead of piled on my bed or the couch. I know he works hard, but this time of year I am spending 10+ hours at work with all the IEP shit I have to do and all the other paper work that is necessary for my job.

Speaking of which, I really think that I am not cut out for this line of work. I get emails from parents all day long asking what their student's DRA level is, and why it is so low, and if they will be graded on the ISATs, and if I have seen Angelina's agenda, and how Corinne's behavior was, and when can they meet with me, and why did Angelina wear the skirt to school, and on and on and on... oh Did I mention all the Annual Reviews that I have and all the intials that I have and all the transitional plans that I have and all the EDCs that I have, oh yeah and I am pregnant too, and really bitchy.... oh yea and the IEP program kicks you off most of the time during the day, so that is why I stay late, so that I can finish the damned paper work. Well I only have 38 more days left and only 147 more days to be pregnant, atleast the weather is getting nicer.

Well my fair reader (s)? I must go climb into bed and stay on my side, so that he knows that I am still pissed, oh yea then I will have to go pee about 5 times.

Happy Spring

It is RSV

2009-02-15T10:30:00.002-06:00

We found out yesterday that she tested positive for RSV. She is too young for medication so we are supposed to watch her for signs of wheezy-ness. We took turns sleeping with her up right on the couch last night, the Anti Hippie even had to work today, he is such a trooper! We watched Iron Man last night and as the movie progressed so did her wheezy-ness, we plugged in 2 humidifiers and slept upright. She is still cranky today, but I just dosed her full of Motrin, and my mom has invited us over so that I can catch up on my cable t.v. and she can watch Gnat for a few hours. Even though she makes me crazy, I thought this was a nice gesture! So we are off to the 'farm'. Enjoy your Sunday, and if you have the day off tomorrow enjoy that too!

100th Positng

2009-02-14T14:44:00.003-06:00

This is my 100th posting!!! It is really the only thing I can get excited about today actually. I hate Valentine's Day, and have for a long long time. Before children and before the Anti-Hippie it always seemed that I got dumped around Valentine's Day. I love my husband every day and do not need a holiday to buy him a mushy card, I also don't want anything on Valentine's Day, surprise me and send me flowers out of the blue, because you were thinking about me! We actually do not do anything to celebrate this day around here, especially not today.

Last night, we listened through the baby monitor as Gnat struggled with a cough. This morning she woke up feeling okay but with a runny nose, by 1:00 this afternoon she had a fever of 99.9 and was so lethargic and whiny that the Anti-Hippie and she are on their way to Prompt Care in Springfield. Meanwhile the next door neighbor has called to tell me that her 2 year old has a confirmed case of RSV, they were over for a visit a few days ago. I hate to be all excitable about illness, because as you know this is not who I am, but I wanted to be proactive about this so I was the one who recommended going to Prompt Care. I am anxious as I await their call, but I know in my heart I did the right thing. I will keep you posted on this matter.

On the other hand I have some more bitching to do. My niece received her transplant last week and is doing great. I am sending white light and hoping for the best for her, but her parents on the other hand are really making me angry. I probably should not even be posting this because it seems like I am cold and heartless, but they need to get a grip they need to STOP SPENDING MONEY WHILE THEY ARE IN CHICAGO! They will be up there for at least 4 months awaiting her recovery, so if they eat out only once every day at $40.00 per day that is 40 * 120 days or $4800.00. By my calculations that is enough money to buy a half way decent used car, that is enough money to put money down on renting an apartment, that is enough money to PAY YOUR PARENTS BACK THE MONEY YOU OWE THEM!!

Okay I am sorry I ruined your Valentine's Day, but you all know that I love you, Happy V. Day!

Stupid Family (not mine)

2009-02-12T22:30:00.002-06:00

Disclaimer:
This letter is written to the Stupid Family that goes to my sitter. They have three Stupid Kids, one 9 year old hyper active girl, one 22 month old bully of a boy, and one very cute but large 5 month old. They infected my household with the pukes and shits last week, and this week they have two diagnosed cases of RSV.

Dear Stupids,
I know you need to go to work, and sometimes if your kids have the sniffles you think to yourself, who is this gonna hurt? Well Stupids it hurt my family last week, we were incapacitated for a whole 24 hours and were unable to take care of our children because we were too sick and weak to move. We actually left our 10 year old in charge of the little one. Not to mention the whole puking and shitting thing. Thanks for that.
Now, today you call the sitter as I am picking up Gnat. You call the sitter to tell her your two youngest have RSV and they were exposed to it at the sitters house? WTF??? NO ONE has been sick at the sitter's house but your dirty rotten brats!!! Now if Gnat gets RSV your gonna be in shit so deep, that I will have to....hmmmm. Bitch about this on my blog for a while. Thanks a lot. Now give your kids a bath, keep them home, and um, yeah quit getting us sick.

Love,
Earthy Birthy

WTF Wednesday one day early

2009-02-10T19:10:00.002-06:00

This is my latest edition of WTF Wednesday because my posts here have been so sporadic.

WTF Weather?
First you send us arctic freaking blasts week after agonizing week, now you want us to think that spring is here? This weather is not supposed to last, it is supposed to snow this weekend. WTF!! Also, weather you make people dress so inappropriately. I saw people in tank tops, shorts, and flip-flops today. WTF, it aint even Valentine's yet people!!

WTF Husband?
He comes in to night while I am fixing dinner, haucking up loogies, and then he says I think we need to move to Arizona because now I think I might be coming down with a cold. Um, really, you want to trade me my pregnancy congestion for a little loogy spitting? I have been snotty since before Christmas. And really, Arizona?? NOW??? WTF? Watch what you are saying to the pregnant crazy lady, m-kay??

WTF Loud Cars with missing mufflers and crappy too loud bass sub-woffers?
Do you really think you are cool driving up and down my street? This neighborhood is full of smallish children, so #1 you are probably driving too fast and b. WTF????

Finally, WTF Stupid Family from the Sitter's who has sick kids again?
Okay, I know I am not a big proponet of medical interventions or doctors for that matter, but if your kid gets my kid sick again, I am gonna...??? I am gonna blog about it with full vengence, because I think you are the stupid family, and like I said earlier do ya really want to mess with the Crazy Prego???

Long Time No See

2009-02-08T20:39:00.002-06:00

Okay, I admit it, I have not been taking very much time for me lately. I started a new job the same week the Anti-Hippie left for a 2 week stint with the Navy in New York. Leaving me at home with the 2 kiddos. That is all fine and good, except I am pregnant and full of those hormones and I just started a new job for pete's sake. When we planned this New York AT(Annual Training), #1 I was not pregnant and #2 I did not have a job, so when he called and asked how it was going, and I jumped down his throat, those are the 2 main reasons I did so.

So my new classroom is really tiny and I have 13 middle to upper class kindergartners through third graders. The community in which I teach does not acknowledge poverty, even though there is a trailer park directly across the street from the school, albeit, across the tracks too, but I digress. I came into this job because the person who had the classroom quit right after Christmas Break, there are rumors about why, but that is not my concern, my concern is getting this classroom into working order with structure and discipline.

So, the Anti-Hippie arrived back home last week and Gnat and I picked him up from the airport. He had to work the next day so I planned a girlie night with my girlie girls, in honor of the January birthdays. Mrs. Granola came, Earth Muffin was there, as was Aunt KiKi, and K. K is recently separated from her husband, and I barely recognize the woman she has become in the past 2 years of freedom. I am so proud of her for our life stories mirror one another's, and I knew she was the strong woman she is becoming!! (this is the only time I have taken for myself, I need to go get a massage and just learn to relax)

{Anyways, while the Anti-Hippie was gone, I learned that dogs who eat dirty diapers, puke up said dirty diapers and it is really gross!}

So this week was uneventful for the most part, I reconnected with an old friend on Facebook and he has been reading this blog, trying to catch up on my life for the past 14 years. Gnat got sick for the first time on Wednesday and the Anti-Hippie took such good care of her. By Thursday she felt much better, by early Friday morning I was as sick as a dog, and still had to go into work early to put sub plans out on my desk and to get my room prepped for the sub. I was sick all day Friday, UNTIL>>>>>>>> the Anti-Hippie got sick. Then I thought I better get better because who was really going to take care of stuff, now? So here it is 2pm in the afternoon, Gnat is running around the house and mama and papa are sick as dogs in bed. At 4pm I roused myself up to go get Eddy, so that he could entertain Gnat while I caught a few more winks. WRONG>>>>, Eddy wanted to eat, when Eddy wanted to eat so did Gnat, Gnat filled approximately 5 diapers with poo that night, at 7:30 I called Aunt KiKi and told her that I needed her, that the Anti-Hippie and I were dying, and that the kids were running amok. She came over, (from what I barely remember) and put jammies on the baby and rocked her to sleep, while Eddy fell asleep on the floor of the baby's room.
Now, Eddy was a champ that night, running between me and my puke bucket and the Anti-Hippie in the bathroom, updating us on each other and keeping a somewhat good eye on the baby. Saturday morning I woke up feeling much better, and started disinfecting the house. Knock on a huge piece of wood Eddy never got sick.
The Anti-Hippie is another story, I know I am dramatic, but WTF? He could win an Academy Award for his performances, yesterday and today. He actually said to me, 'how are you up moving around?", Well honey one of us has to be, because I am not reliving Friday night again, or DCFS will come and take our kids. And the house smells like sickness and I need to get it cleaned up for the week!!!!

Well, hope you enjoyed this installment stay tuned for more happenings here in V-Town, where the Mamas are pregnant and crazy!!!

I am no longer unemployed!!

2009-01-13T14:44:00.002-06:00

Having recently finished my teacher certification, finding out we were pregnant, and it being the middle of the school year my hopes of finding full time employment were none too high. Right before the new year, Aunt Ki-Ki sent me a Yahoo job notification that she received in her email in-box. I jumped on the chance to get employed at a school with just half the school year remaining. I jumped through all the necessary hoops like submitting a resume and a letter of intent. I also followed up with several phone calls to find out if the employer needed anything further from me. This lead to an interview. I really think I shined during the interview. I knew many of the 'buzz' words in education these days and was somewhat familiar with the direction that Special Education is headed these days. I immediately followed up the interview with a letter thanking the employer for granting me an interview and for taking me on a tour of the facilities. Finally, I had to ask several people for their references and if they would be willing to talk to this future employer on the telephone, they all agreed.

The last and final step was the most difficult, the WAIT. Waiting for the confirmation to come back via email that the future employer received the reference list, waiting for the phone call about whether or not I actually got the job. Waiting is really the hardest part. During this waiting part came the weekend, and of course no one is going to call you about a job over the weekend. So I waited and I waited. Yesterday while I was looking for a snake, I was waiting. Yesterday while I was getting the bird out of the house that flew down the flue, I was waiting. I waited all day yesterday. By this morning, I was tired of waiting. So tired in fact that I forgot to carry my phone with me from room to room, so I missed the call when it came. I saw I missed a call and IMMEDIATELY called them back. And yes after all this WAITING, I have a job!!! I will be a primary resource teacher in a very affluent school district just 15 miles north of here!! I will start as soon as I fill out the necessary paper work and get finger-printed! I waited and my patience paid off!

Escape Artist

2009-01-13T10:44:00.003-06:00

Recently we acquired two more reptiles for our collection. The Anti Hippie recently went to a reptile show in St. Louis where he bought a Kenyan Sand Boa and won a Ball Python in a raffle. (I believe he was the only SUCKER that bought a raffle ticket) The Kenyan Sand Boa will only grow to be about one foot long and the Ball Python can grow to be four or five feet long. I am not apprehensive about reptiles as Eddy has been an Avid Herpetologist since he was able to walk. I am however apprehensive about the said reptile escaping which is what happened over the weekend.

The Anti Hippie was working all weekend and Aunt KiKi came over for a visit on Friday Night to eat hot-dogs and play the Wii. That was the last time we saw the Kenyan Sand Boa. Sunday afternoon when the Anti-Hippie returned from work and was going to feed and water the reptiles, he came trundling down stairs only to announce that the Kenyan Sand Boa had escaped. I was very upset as I had been assured that this would not ever happen. Toddler Gnat is in to everything, and what I did not need was for her to come in carrying a snake, alive or dead! So the search was on, Eddy and his friend Austin looked all over the upstairs, as efficiently as 10 year olds look for missing items (not very thorough). The snake was no where to be found, which led Eddy to believe that Abby, our dog known for eating just about anything, ate the snake. He looked at me and said with tears in his eyes, "her breath smells like snake." Well I think it smells like ass, but whatever.

I went to bed that night full of anxiety that a.) when I got up to pee numerous times in the night I would step on the snake and b.) I would not find the snake until much later when the aroma of dead snake filled my house!

Well my fears were alleviated yesterday morning when the Anti-Hippie and I found the snake, after a very thorough search of his office and my office/craft room. I am happy to report that at 9:37 a.m. on January 12, 2009 I found the snake and put him back in to his cage with the new reinforced lid. We are going to call him Blo-Go, for the newly impeached Illinois Governor who tends to get himself out of tight situations!

I have an announcement

2009-01-03T14:33:00.002-06:00

As my two readers know I spent the past 5 months completing my student teaching. I was very busy and it was kind of stressful. There was the new baby-sitter, there was the before and after-school Eddy child-care fiasco, and then there was the actual student-teaching part; the part which I enjoyed the most!
In the beginning, the Anti-Hippie and I were faithfully taking my temperature every morning when the alarm went off. See, my BFF had given me her The Art of Natural Family Planning book and up until one weekend at the beginning of October I was successfully following the 'plan'. That is until I got, lazy, careless, fill in any number of words here, and I just stopped taking my temperature and keeping track of my monthly cycle. Around Halloween the local coffee-shop had a party where they had a fortune-teller. When I saw the fortune-teller she told me I was pregnant, I laughed my ass off because I thought it to be absurd, I think I had recently had my period and The Anti-Hippie and I were not planning on trying for another baby until August of 2009 or 2010 depending on my job situation. Well folks, I am pregnant! I go to the Doctor on Tuesday where they will do a sonagram to determine how far along I am and we shall see. My neighbor seems to think I am farther along than I think and I think I am only about 10 weeks. So if you are the gambling type we can start taking bets on when it is due and when it will actually arrive.
Oh yeah about the job situation, hopefully I will have an interview next week for a resource room position that is available, I will keep you posted on this as well as the other happenings in my life.

Does anyone else have this problem?

2009-01-02T17:27:00.002-06:00

Eddy climbs on everything! He just turned 10 it is not like he little anymore, so WTF? I catch him standing on our couch, bouncing off my furniture like he is a ninja, standing on my stools at my breakfast bar, swinging on the stairs from the landing, and climbing down the spiral stair-case that leads to the kitchen. Did he become a monkey?
I am only concerned because Gnat, is WATCHING everything he does, she likes to imitate him and I am worried about what primate she may become!

4 is Fabulous

2008-12-31T16:51:00.003-06:00

Earth Muffin tagged me to do this one and I am finally child-free at the moment!

Four places I go over and over again:

1) To my not so super sitter's house. She is nice and all but I use cloth diapers and she said she would not have a problem with using them, except she sends home poop in the diapers, yeah she does not even rinse or wipe them out.
2) To my MIL's they live right down the street and are very handy when I need a sitter, plus they have office supplies that I might need. And Aunt KiKi lives there too!
3) Cherry's IGA, because it is the closest grocery store within a 5 mile radius
4) Target, because I too hate Wal-Mart and I never go to K-Mart

Four people who mail me regularly:

1) My friend Billie in Alaska, it is always forwards though
2) The Splendid Table Weeknight Kitchen, loads of great recipes
3) Free Cycle.org
4) My BIL with the Mia Royer Newsletter

Four of my favorite places to eat, (apart from home):

1) IMO's Pizza, not another Pizza like it around here. It is a true St. Louis style pizza with thin crust and provel cheese
2) Taste of Thai, my favorite place to eat Thai
3) Darcy's Pint, great home-made chips and cold beer
4) Red Lobster, I know cheesy answer but I am craving it right now!

Four places I'd rather be now:

1) at a job interview?? I need a job so having an interview would be great
2) out with the Anti-Hippie ALONE!!
3) at the movies
4) out with my Girlie Girls!

Four favorite TV shows:

1) ER, I've watched this since the very first episode. I am with Earth Muffin on this one, I love ER and I am already sad it is almost over.
2) LOST, it starts in three weeks cannot wait
3) Criminal Minds, because I love Mathew Gubler's character and some of the shows just creep me out!
4) Arrested Development, very smart but it got canceled :(

Four movies I could watch over and over again:

1) Princess Bride, what a great movie and book
2) Almost Famous, Earth Muffin turned me on to this movie!!
3) Office Space, because everyone's had a job they hate as much as Peter hates that job. The Anti Hippie can recite this movie verbatim.
4) Gone With the Wind, because I sit down every year and spend hours watching this movie!!
and if I could get a #5 up there it would be Ferris Bueller's Day Off just because it was one of my favorites for a long time
Four people I'm tagging:

1. ?????
2. ?????
3. Help me out here!
4. Anyone, anyone??

Christmas Predicament

2008-12-20T23:09:00.002-06:00

My eldest son Eddy, is at that age where I think he has a sneaking suspicion that there is not really a Santa Claus. You know, the one who brings the gifts? Where upon lies my predicament. Do I tell him or not? Do I let him become Santa Claus on Christmas Eve and help us put out the presents? Do I really want to open that can of worms with my tell-all-to-anyone-number-one-son'?
He has a big mouth and his very opinionated. I never actually ever remember being told there was not a Santa Claus, up into my late-late teens my parents still went to great lengths to make it seem like there was really a Santa Claus. I think I figured it out when I was Eddy's age, but part of me wanted to believe, part of me still wants to believe. If I do not put out the gifts will there magically be some gifts there in the morning?
I want my children to stay children for as long as possible, because as you readers know it is a cruel-cruel world out there, and reality really does SUCK. I know he will not stay young forever, but I still want Christmas to be magical for Eddy.
I was thinking that this year because we actually have a fire place, that I would even leave ashy foot prints around the fire place. Those of you who know Eddy know what a blabber mouth he is, I think I will try and keep this one under wraps for one more year.

December Ramblings

2008-12-19T16:33:00.002-06:00

I cannot believe that Christmas is in less than one week! Where did 2008 go? Oh yeah I forgot, we had our house on the market and then it sold, I was working on my Master's degree, I had just had a baby, anything else?
Well, I have not been blogging much lately because I have been a hell-uv-alot busy these days. Even though I am not currently employed BES has called me to sub 5 out of the past 10 school days, I repainted the dinning room, I finished painting Gnat's room, I baked some cookies, I went shopping for Santa, and I am trying to keep this house in order. So, those things do not allow me much time for blogging.
I just want to rant for a moment about how I hate the Holidays, no not all of it just some of it. I, unlike my BFF, love Christmas music, I know all the classic carols and sing along when they come on the radio, I love decorating for Christmas, and if you all check your mail soon you'll see the hand-made card just from our family to yours. The things I hate are obvious, I hate spending money on 'stuff', I hate shopping in general so to actually go out and purchase unnecessary 'stuff' for other people just ticks me off, I hate crowds they make me crabby, and did I mention that I really hate shopping?
Anyway check your mail, I really do wish all three of my readers a very happy and healthy holiday season. Please stop by if you are in the neighborhood and have a beer with us, we would love to show off my new paint jobs!!

Happy Belated Birthday Eddy

2008-12-12T15:58:00.004-06:00

Summer 2008

Winter circa 2000

Eddy you are the biggest pain in my butt, but you changed my life forever that night you arrived 10 years ago. I love you and hope you grow up to be a strong man! Thank you for coming into my life and for making me see that there is more than one way to skin a cat!!

Love, Mom

WTF Wednesday

2008-12-03T19:35:00.002-06:00

WTF Parents at my son's Christmas program last night? Did you not hear the principal announce that you needed to be quiet while the students other than your own were singing. SHUT THE FUCK UP PEOPLE!!! Come on I know Little Suzie Q looked so sweet in her little Christmas dress, but did you have to get up 20 times to take her picture? I also know that when big kids sing, it is boring, but that was my big kid who was up there while you were talking on your cell phone and while your kids were running and screaming in the lobby. Did you not think that they have been practicing this since before Halloween, and that you might want to encourage the freaking arts?

WTF Teacher? No not my cooperating teacher but her BFF, I cannot stand her. She wants to be the center of attention but really no one cares. So to you SHUT UP!!! Also Ms. Music Teacher, who needs to get laid, quit smacking your food in my ear at lunch, or move to another table.

WTF Family? It is the holiday season not a competition for you to go out and buy, or better yet for you to ask for big ticket items. You know who you are! They asked for a Barbie Jeep for their baby who is younger than Gnat, and who is not even walking yet?? WTF

WTF Weather? Just snow enough to get school canceled, this icy road shit has got to go. Either let it rip and send us a blizzard or just stop!

FINALLY!!!!

2008-12-03T19:06:00.003-06:00

This week marks the end of a very long journey, I will finish my student teaching on Friday and will graduate with a Master's Degree in Education. This journey started over 13 years ago when I initially graduated from high school with hopes of becoming a teacher. I attended a private college near the town where we lived until I could no longer afford to pay their tuition. I completed most of my general studies at that private college, when it came time to transfer to a state university I found that few if any of my credits actually transferred over, which was the universities way of saying that they wanted more of my money. Needless to say, I flunked out my third year of college because I was just tired of the bureaucracy. I wanted more in my life, I needed direction. So I left.

I really ran away to Alaska. I wanted to see the world, I wanted to have an adventure, I wanted. I was naive and I trusted people and humanity too much, and I ended up pregnant and on welfare. Ten years ago next week I gave birth to my son, Eddy and my life changed forever. I needed a good paying job with benefits and I needed to get my life back together, not only for me but for this life I had just brought into the world. I came back home. I drug my no good lousy sperm donor, two dogs, and a baby back and tried to get it in order. That lasted for about a year, when I became tired of his abuse, and I left with only the baby and the truck.

Meanwhile I had started back to college albeit one night a week, but I was a trooper I went to class faithfully every week. I moved in with my parents and they assumed child care on those nights when I had class, I had also secured a job as a personal care teacher assistant for three disabled children in a local school district. I trudged on, I worked as an aide full time during the week and on the weekends I bar tended and waitressed my way through bills and tuition. In 2002 I graduated with a bachelor's degree in psychology. PSYCHOLOGY, yeah you thought I went for the teacher degree right then and there huh? Well nope, I was too proud to quit my job with full benefits and an actual income to fulfill the requirements for the teacher degree, which included quitting the said job and going back on welfare.

Well then again I found myself STUCK, I was a really good aide, but I hated my job. I hated being bossed around and found myself seeking another way out. So I started working on an associates degree in Fire Science because at that time in my life I needed more adventure and what better way to quench that need than to become a Firefighter. I broke many barriers in my pursuit of the Fire Science Degree, I was the first woman in the program to complete Fire Fighter I and II. I was the only woman in the class, and that in itself was exhilarating.

Meanwhile I joined a local fire department where I was treated as an equal and where I would later meet the Anti-Hippie. The summer after the Anti Hippie and I were married he encouraged me to get a degree that would make me happy and one that would allow me to get a job that I would be happy with. So I did, I started in the summer of 2006 and here it is a little over 2 years later and I am graduating with a degree that I am proud of and that I initially started out pursuing oh so many years ago. Well, my student teaching was one of the best things that I ever did, and I can honestly tell you I put my heart and soul into my class, my lesson plans, and my teaching. I have never worked so hard in my entire life as I have these past 4 months, and I did not even get paid for this! I am proud of myself. I am also proud of my family for supporting me over the past decade with all my career changes and wild adventures!

Happy Third

2008-11-02T00:17:00.002-05:00

Dearest Husband,

Happy third anniversary. I love you more each day, no matter how crazy it gets around here. You surprise me with your patience and understanding. I know I am not easy to live with and that I tend to get testy sometimes. Our wedding day is still one of the most special days in my entire life. In fact today with the Indian Summer like weather we are experiencing I was thinking back to that Saturday just three short years ago.
It has not always been easy for us and I expect more turbulent times ahead. Just know that I love you and that I really like being married to you. Happy Anniversary.

Love, Earthy Birthy Mama

Crabby Patty Strikes Again

2008-10-28T18:39:00.003-05:00

My mother has been bugging me for weeks about what to get the kids for Christmas/Hanukkah. I told her Eddy would appriciate a membership to the zoo, horse riding lessons, or art lessons. I told her Gnat would love a Waldorf Doll. Waldorf Dolls are made exclusively of natural fibers and the doll that I linked here is a fair trade doll, which means that the people making the dolls are treated fairly and paid a fair wage. I love this doll and coveted these when I was a little girl. They will allow so much imagination to the little girl or boy who plays with it, as they are not electronic and they encourage imaginative play.
Crabby Patty called me today to let me know that she does not like the doll and she will not be buying it for the Gnat. Okay, then why the fuck did you ask me what she wanted? Crabby Patty, being an expert in fiber art, said that the doll was too expensive and she thought it was ugly. Well riddle me this, will she be playing with the doll?
So I guess Santa Earthy Birthy and Santa Anti- Hippie will be buying the Gnat her very own Waldorf Doll.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2008-10-08T18:34:00.002-05:00

This post actually started several years ago but, I was not a blogger back then.

I was running into Target one day after Thanksgiving to get ribbon for a wreath. The wreath was for the cemetery as we decorate family gravestones each year for the holidays. While at Target I met one of Eddy's teachers I introduced myself and she told me she had a story to tell me about Eddy. I groaned thinking this was 'one of those' stories about his behavior or something. She continued, "last week I read to Eddy's first grade class, we read about Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving, you know the one where he messes up the meal?" yes.... "Well, after Charlie Brown messes up the meal he calls his Grandma, and I asked the class 'what do you think Charlie Brown's grandma told Charlie Brown about messing up the meal' and in all seriousness I called on Eddy and he said 'whaaa whaaaawaaaa' the teacher said, just like the adults on Charlie Brown talk." I was rolling on the floor! As an avid Charlie Brown fan, that is in fact what Charlie Brown's grandma would have said.

Second funny thing Eddy said happened many moons ago when he was in nursery school. I do not think they still call it that, so let me rewind and say that he was in pre-school. He came home one day in January and said we are learning about martinknewtheking, huh?? I said. You know that African American who helped give people freedom, you know mom martinknewtheking day, we don't have school that day. oh I said, Martin Luther King, yeah he said martinknewtheking. So every year in our house we celebrate the birthday of that great American freedom fighter Martin Knew the King.

Finally a funny that is not so funny, but take it in context. Before the Anti Hippie and I lived together Eddy and I lived with my parents. We watched a lot of news, Eddy watched the news with us every night, as we prepared dinner. Well with this story maybe he watched a tad to much. I recently had a class with a lady, we shall call her Jenni, who was doing her student teaching in Eddy's kindergarten class and she told me this story: One March afternoon while Jenni was in Eddy's classroom the teacher came in and told the class she had some bad news, and Eddy pipes up unsolicited and says "yeah I know Terri Schiavo died" and the teacher and Jenni who were really going to tell the class that recess was going to be inside, just looked at each other, wondering where in hell did that come from. Well folks that came from the mouth of a kindergartener who watched too much adult television.

Hope my stories made you laugh, they are much better told in person with a good glass of wine, but you get the point. Right?

This and That

2008-10-07T18:00:00.002-05:00

First of all Happy 10th Anniversary to my BFF and her Husband. She posted a lovely little note to him on her Blog, go over and check it out. I wish them the best as they travel to K.C. this weekend for a little get away!!

Secondly, I am so happy fall has finally made her appearance, summer is my FAVORITE time of year, but fall/autumn comes in a close second. I love this weather and the anticipation of the fall foliage this year, colors are supposed to be spectacular. We decorated our porch with home-grown pumpkins from our garden and corn stalks from our garden as well. I think we have finally come to a conclusion about costumes this year also, Eddy wants to go as an Army Guy, (which I think is "gay", but he gets to carry a toy gun, so he thinks its cool) and Gnat is going to be an olive!!

Finally I am happy that my household is getting along somewhat, I have not dropped the 'F' bomb all week, so knock on real wood this lasts. Last week was crazy hectic around here with all the yelling and screaming and "F" bombs. I also told my mother that she needs to quit calling so much and criticizing my parenting, Eddy is ours not hers, and I don't need her Jewish Mother guilt making me even crazier.

Hope y'all are doing great!

Letter

2008-09-28T17:55:00.002-05:00

The more I think about this the more angrier I get. My SIL in California is pregnant again, except it is a big secret. She is keeping it a secret from me and the other SIL until she is so pregnant we could not possibly steal her thunder. Yet, every time another member of the family has gotten pregnant she has gotten pregnant so she could steal their thunder. She always had more of what ever it was that the other pregnant person had, whether it was weight gain, cravings, cramps, pain, ect.. So, I just have to draft her a quick note so that this is not sticking in my craw for the rest of the week.

Dear Em,

I heard you were pregnant. Well gosh I hope I am not pregnant too, my period is seven days late, albeit that it is still pretty irregular since I am still breast feeding the Gnat. But let's get one thing straight if the other SIL or myself wishes to get pregnant then we are in no way stealing your thunder, this will be your fourth kid and you are only 26. You have not done the best job at raising the three you have, so let's think about this for a second... Do you only like them when they are babies and they constantly need your attention? Do you like the attention you get when you walk around all pregnant? Do you like the attention you get when you walk around with your troupe of three plus the baby?

WELL I sure hope my period comes soon, I would surely upstage you since I am here with all the family and all..
Think about it.
Talk to you really soon.

Love,
Earthy Birthy Mama

I have been tagged...

2008-09-28T14:09:00.003-05:00

I was tagged by my friend, Earth Muffin, this tagging happened about a month ago, but alas I have been so busy it had to wait until now. I am not tagging anyone although if you want to play just copy and paste and add your answers.

Have Fun!!

A. Attached or single?
Attached, I really like being married. There is something safe and comforting in knowing that I will always have a someone to come home to, even if we disagree!

B. Best friend?
Earth Muffin and Aunt Kiki are probably two of my closest friends.

C. Cake or pie?
I love cake, just cake no icing, I totally love cake batter too. I love bundt cakes the best.

D. Day of choice?
I love Friday afternoons, the anticipation for the weekend

E. Essential item?
chap-stick, I am totally with EM on this one, also my sunglasses

F. Favorite color?
Yellow

G. Gummy bears or worms?
I love sour gummy worms and red gummy bears

H. Hometown?
Well I grew up in A-Town, but now reside in V-Town which is really small

I. Indulgence?
Pedicures, expensive beer, wine (I drink $5.00 bottles of Illinois Cellars, Norton)

J. January or July?
I like the newness of January, but the baby' s birthday is in July so I'll take either

K. Kids?
Yes, and I want more

L. Life isn’t complete without?
My Anti-Hippie and my kids

M. Marriage date?
November 5, 2005

N. Number of brothers & sisters?
One, Uncle Nascar

O. Oranges or apples?
both, but I like green apples the best

P. Phobias?
I have OCD so I am not really scared of anything but dirt

Q. Quotes?
"The recollection of quality remains long after the price is forgotten"

R. Reasons to smile?
My family, my friends, our health

S. Season of choice?
Early Summer or maybe Spring

T. Tag seven peeps]
I can't
(Sorry, Not tagging anyone. Many of the people I read don't seem to do memes. )

U. Unknown fact about me?
I can stand up and pee!! Really, I taught myself on a camping trip, I can stand and pee, bet your jealous!

V. Vegetable?
I like most all vegetables, artichokes and avocados are my favorites

W. Worst habits?
yelling at my kid Eddy, being bitchy, saying I'm sorry when I did not do anything, oh yeah and the guilt, good old catholic guilt.

X. X-ray or ultrasound?
Huh?? I had ultra sounds with both kids

Y. Your favorite food?
Cheese and salads

Z. Zodiac sign?
I am a Leo, bossy and in charge.

Putting away Summer

2008-09-28T13:59:00.003-05:00

Well I think today might just be one of the last warm days of our Indian Summer. I have this feeling in my bones that I need to take all my beautiful flowers to the covered back porch, for some frost protection, so that I may enjoy them just a little longer. I saw the golden rod a few weeks ago, and the wives tale says with in weeks of seeing the golden rod there will be frost.
Now I am not complaining about the weather we have been having, it has been glorious, but it too must go. I have already begun to see some Sugar Maple trees start to turn. The ones I saw were a most beautiful crimson and yellow, also the hickory trees have already turned yellow.
So on this fair Sunday I am on my way outside to decorate for Halloween and to put my lovely summer flowers on the back porch. Fear not readers the flowers will return next April in all their stunning glory, until then though I will remember how they looked this past summer

WTF Wednesday

2008-09-24T20:39:00.003-05:00

Hey Peeps! It is time for another WTF Wednesday. I know I have been away for a long time, but I have a really great reason, and it is called sleep. I am so very tired when I get home from work each night, and after fixing dinner I do not feel much like blogging or even getting on line so that is that.
Before I start my WTF I must say that student teaching is going so well, I love my class and Peter my cooperating teacher.

WTF People who do not use your turn signals? If you are going to turn, put your flipping turn signal on so that people know you are going to turn. Sometimes on my drive home, I find myself using the turn signal on the one way part of the square in C-Ville. People just use it, it is not that big of a deal, how about you get off your phone to free up one of your hands and use your blinker?

WTF 9 year old Eddy? Why are your teachers calling me already? It is only the 6th week of school, could you not wait to start misbehaving until like February? Come on, quit giving your teachers a hard time and for Pete's Sake bring your fricking assignment notebook home as well as your books, okay?

WTF Family? Why do you need to eat each and every night? Why? When I come home from work I am really tired, too tired in fact to make dinner AND clean it up. Husband, dear husband PLEASE BE PROACTIVE AND FIX SOME FREAKING DINNER!!!!

WTF third grade student who gags when he gets in trouble? Please do not gag around me, do not puke around me, do not make the heaving sound around me, I HATE PUKE it will make me puke. When you get in trouble kid, you are in trouble, I caught you, you are busted, so please do not gag when I take you out in the hall to discuss your behavior.

Gosh this was to therapeutic, I need to get up here more often. Talk to y'all later.

Holy Shit Where Did the Week Go?

2008-08-21T21:18:00.002-05:00

Well I have two MeMes from Earth Muffin that I have to do, as well as a ton of other shit so that all must wait until the weekend. But I have a ton of other shit to get off my chest so here goes.

I took Baby Gnat to the Doctor this week as she needed a physical for the new babysitter. Well... um.... I am a great, wonderful, loving caring, outstanding mother but I have not kept up on her immunizations. Like, she has not had any since she left the hospital the day she was born. Now I am not trying to be radical in not immunizing my child, but for crying out loud Doctor. Do not belittle me for not doing so, she is my child and I am SUPER busy and actually we do not go to the Doctor that often so getting her immunized was not my top priority. Also, public health clinic please do not talk down to me, I am not PWT (poor white trash), and when I decline the MMR because I would like to find a Green Doctor who will give the MMR in three separate shots please do not announce to the whole group of people waiting in line that "SHE DECLINED THE MMR" while you are shouting across the room to the nurse who is setting up what vaccinations Baby Gnat will be getting. See the county Public Health Service has a clinic at various locales throughout the county on various days of the week, their set up so that when you walk in the door you sign in and get the necessary paper work filled out for the vaccinations you need, then they tell the nurse across the room what she needs to get out, then you walk across the room (this happened to be a fellowship hall at a tiny church), and you get the said shots. I am not a criminal because I didn't have my vaccines up to date. Also Doctor, if I choose to not feed Baby Gnat meat until she is older, that is okay too. She is getting all the protein she needs from my BOOBS, and from the various vegetables and dairy products that I feed her. She eats tofu, she eats beans, I eat nuts and meat. I think her dietary intake of protein is satisfactory. And no, Crabby Patty I am not starting some radical movement by not vaccinating my kid. Like I said MY KID.

Okay on to less bitchier things. I love my cooperating teacher, Pete. She has already let me teach some lessons, which have gone great. I like my class of Third Graders, they are so eager to learn and think that it is really neat that I am still in school and that they get to have 2 teachers until December. They actually listen to me and respect me like they should. YIPEE.

I bought a book that is helping me deal with Eddy's health issues and that is going GREAT. Three days of being TOTALLY CLEAN!!! He is actually behaving himself while the Anti-Hippie has been gone, and I can see that he is really trying to help me. He is a great kid with tons of potential to be a wonderful adult, and I love him dearly, I hope we are on the road to recovery and we have turned over a new leaf.

I still have not found before or after school care for Eddy but Baby Gnat's sitter is really working out. She is very patient with the fact that Baby Gnat is having some separation anxiety right now, and was so excited about Baby Gnat taking her first steps on Wednesday at her house. That makes me sad that I was not there, but I am happy it happened at Jamie's house.

I miss the Anti-Hippie so much, but when he leaves for two weeks it gives me time to assert some of my independence. I feel empowered, (I feel empowered when he is here, but right now it is just me, I have the 2 kids and I am responsible for EVERYTHING). I also am not washing 17 loads of laundry a day, nor am I washing dishes every night. I miss him and can't wait to F*** his brains out when he gets home, but being here alone reminds me how lucky I am than I have such a good guy whom is not bothered by helping out equally with housework or child rearing.

Well it seems like this week just flew by, and not that I am hoping my life away but let the next 14 weeks go by equally as fast so that I can be finished with this student teaching and I can work on getting my own classroom, or at least a job!

WHEW!

2008-08-18T18:24:00.003-05:00

My cooperating teacher cusses like a sailor and drinks beer!! My cooperating teacher whom I'll call Peter (even though she is a girl), is very nice. What was I worrying about? We have 23 third graders in a school that is less than 5 years old. So everything is new, it still looks new, smells new, and makes for a wonderful learning environment. Peter seems really cool and we ate lunch in a diner today owned by some DEADHEADS, it was way cool. Peter is willing to let me have whatever materials I need and do whatever I need to do. I am so relieved. This might just be a wonderful learning experience.

The babysitter whom I'll call Smith, is also wonderful. Baby Gnat seemed to really take to her. She took her naps at the appropriate times and was well behaved. Smith also agreed to use cloth diapers, whooohooo!! Which saves me some cash, as I will be cash strapped very soon. Also, one of my ex-boyfriends little girl goes to Smith's. When we interviewed Smith she asked me if I knew Gretchen Wilson (that is my ex-boyfriends ex-wife, he started dating her shortly after we broke up). I told Smith that I knew Gretchen (that is really who she looks like). Well today when I pulled up, I noticed this red haired little girl, and I knew right away who she was even though I never met her, because she looks just like the ex's brother Joey. Anyway Gretchen and Jake got divorced last year sometime, and I know this because I read it in the local paper, and Gretchen is a single mom with this little girl. Gretchen did not get a teaching job this year, but needed work and a sitter so they are back at Smith's house.

Anyway, all in all a good day. I really have nothing to be worried about, except Eddy's child care situation. I did call the day care center here in town and got on their wait list and I put an ad in the paper for a teenager who could come before and after school to watch Eddy. I hope this works, until then he is at my FIL's.

Hope everyone else had a good Monday or First Day Back at School.

Good Bye Summer

2008-08-17T20:23:00.004-05:00

Good Bye Summer. I really enjoyed you this year, though I really miss the pool from our old house. See, if I still had the pool, I could hang on to summer just a bit longer, but I digress.

Things I really enjoyed this summer:

Not having to get up early
Reading the newspaper and refilling my coffee cup several times while reading and doing the puzzles
My Garden
My Flowers
Watching my kids have fun and enjoy the summer (except for that time Eddy got kicked out of camp)
My new bike
Sewing ( this will be a future Blog post, some things I made need buttons)
Canning vegetables from Garden
Baby Gnat turning one
Spending time with the Anti Hippie
Some of the nice weather we have been having
Good Books

So, good bye summer, I will catch you on the flip side. Thanks for coming this year. Talk to you later. EBM

Vindicated

2008-08-16T20:42:00.003-05:00

I now feel vindicated. My Mother in Law Not Crabby Patti did not have a wonderful time in California like I previously mentioned. In fact she had a horrible time, Aunt Duckie was hormonal for the whole trip and Aunt Not So Earthy Birthy is not on her meds and was totally manic for the whole trip. The nieces and nephews are wild as ever, so I feel vindicated.

Also everyone apologized for Flakin' on me. Not Crabby Patti can help out with Eddy before school, if we need her and FIL felt really bad about not being able to help out. See his mother took care of The Anti Hippie and his three siblings when they were growing up because FIL worked all the time and Not Crabby Patti did not have custody of her 4 kids (another story for another time). Anyways everyone felt bad for Flakin' on me. But we still need to resolve the before and after school care issues for Eddy.

Maybe this too will work itself out. I feel better, I feel VINDICATED.

Why's Everbody Always Flakin' On Me?

2008-08-15T22:52:00.004-05:00

Today I had a really important meeting about my student teaching and weeks ago I asked MIL to watch the kids, she even got out her calendar and wrote us down. Well earlier this week after she got back from seeing her favorite son in California I emailed her asking her if we were still on for her babysitting the kids while I went to my really important meeting. She emailed me back and said that she did not have us written in her calendar and that she could not babysit my kids. Crabby Patty ended up babysitting and she and Baby Gnat got along fabulously, so that worked out.

Okay MIL I get it, you are upset with me over something I did or said, and instead of telling me to my face, you are going to pretend that I did not give you all the information for the date that I needed you and instead of just telling me 'no, I can't' or 'no, I do not want to', you are going to make it look like I made the mistake about the babysitting schedule. GREAT, WONDERFUL, FREAKING FABULOUS.

Now, I am also dealing with some MAJOR behavior issues with Eddy these days, and we are really thinking something is physiologically WRONG with him and we are considering counseling and even medication. I am even considering military schools, because I have had it with his behaviors. I think there is something really wrong with him and I won't go into details because I am still going through the stages of grief. Right now I am at BLAMING.

So, we had it all worked out that Eddy would go over to my FIL's house before and after school. My FIL lives really close to the school and Eddy could walk or ride his bike to and from school. WELL, my FIL told The Anti Hippie TONIGHT (FRIDAY NIGHT) that he does not trust Eddy and he would prefer it if we could find other arrangements for Eddy for before and after school. FIL is just too busy with his ever expanding business to have to watch Eddy before and after school. Now, I get it I know Eddy cannot be trusted, he lies, he steals, he gets carried away, he won't stop, he is defiant, and he has some other problems. But he waited until tonight to tell us that he just can't help us, he just can't watch Eddy, and that we need to look into getting Eddy some psychological help and we need to look into getting Eddy before and after school care.

I am in tears right now, The Anti Hippie is out of town for his 2 week stint with the military and I am starting the most important part of my schooling right now, and I am supposed to find CHILD CARE over the WEEKEND.

WELL, HELLS BELLS!

I hope this gets better.

Praise the Lord

2008-08-14T10:47:00.002-05:00

I was talking to Crabby Patty on the phone the other day, and some how the topic of who was going to take care of her in the event of something happening to my father. {I do not wish my dad any harm, I am just sayin' that my mom will probably live to be 108} Anyways she said, yeah I figured I go down and live with Uncle NASCAR in North Carolina if any thing happened to your dad.

WOOOOHOOO!!!! I am so happy for Uncle Nascar.

WTF Wednesday

2008-08-14T01:40:00.002-05:00

Okay I cannot sleep so this is technically posted on Thursday morning but WTF.

WTF Summer Vacation?
Where did you go? You came on so slow, by the beginning of May I was wondering if you would ever make your appearance. Now I only have a few precious days left, and they are flying by. I really enjoyed our time together, reading books, blogging, swimming, gardening, sleeping late, being lazy drinking too much wine, but soon you will be but a fleeting memory. This was not the best summer on record, but WTF why did you have to pass through so quickly?

WTF Laundry?
Dear Laundry Pile, go away! Love, EBM I mean seriously how do you get so big, I wash you and sometimes hang you out on the new clothes line, or toss you into the dryer, and I fold you. But, you keep on coming back. Is it the people here? Do they use a clean towel every time they shower? I use my towel at least three times if not more before I put it in the laundry. Is it the messy eating baby? I try and feed her with a bib on or I strip her to her diaper. Is it the smelly boy that lives here? Oh laundry please learn to wash your self.

WTF Neighbor Boys?
I am not an irresponsible parent, although on occasion I do let Eddy run free through out the neighbor hood, so what's up with all the boys here in the 'hood thinking its okay to come to the door and ask where Eddy is? First of all this normally happens when Baby Gnat is sleeping and secondly get on your damn bike and ride around and find him. Right now the 17 year locust are out and he is looking for them. It is not my day to keep track of him. {I really do keep track of him}

WTF Squirrels?
The Bird feeders are not for you, I put out cobs of field corn just for you. You know on those silly little seats? You are not letting the birds eat! Please, kindly move your fat asses up to the cobs on the tree. You look so cute sitting in the little chair eating your corn or trying to eat it off of that spinning thing.

WTF Poison Ivy or itchy rash all over Eddy?
The other night after Eddy mowed all the yards with the Anti Hippie he came in before bed and was scratching up a storm. I chalked it up to mowing the grass, gave him a Benadryl, told him to quit stalling, and sent him to bed. Well Tuesday morning he comes to breakfast and his face is swollen and he has a redish rash all over his neck, stomach, penis, and butt. I call the Dr. and upon seeing him pronounced it poison ivy. Dr. gave us a script for prednisolone. It seems to be clearing up but maybe not. Eddy hates taking any kind of medicine so this has been a real treat. We have gone the whole summer without getting any sort of itchy scratchy rash so WTF? Right before the craziest week of this year starts Eddy gets a itchy scratchy rash? ahhh

Putting Corn By

2008-08-12T23:02:00.004-05:00

I am canning and putting food by, all this week. Mother Nature knew this was going to begin the craziest week in my life (important meetings (3), school starts, student teaching starts, Eddy starts 4th grade, Baby Gnat starts new baby sitter, and Anti Hippie leaves for his 2 week AT with the Navy) so she decides that it is time for Earthy Birthy to harvest her garden. Every time I walk near the garden, I see more ripe tomatoes. I will be canning those bad boys tomorrow. But tonight I put some fresh sweet corn by. The title of this post and the idea of putting food by came from this book probably the BEST book for canning and putting food by ever written.
When I was a little girl, I always helped Ma and Pa Kettle (new names for Crabby Patty and Red Green) harvest the garden. When I was older I not only got to harvest but stay up and help put food by, I remember one really hot summer and Pa was gone and Ma and I canned 35 quarts of tomatoes and it was so hot by the end of the night I was in my bra peeling and coring tomatoes. That was way before children and way before they moved out to the prairie.
This year with the cost of food, I thought that I might put some food by, I always can tomatoes but this year I have sort of a bumper crop of corn so tonight I put 7 cups of corn by, and come next January when the nights are cold, I will get to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Three rows of Illini Sweet corn behind the 'tall as can be' sun flowers [aka the tall as fuck sun flowers].

Shucked corn cleaned in sink, waiting for water on stove to boil.
Said water getting ready to boil, you wouldn't know it but boiling water makes for a hot kitchen.
Supplies: sharp knife, water for hydration, wine for libation, and cookbook for the blanching times, as I cannot find my copy of Putting Food By.

Corn in water 'returning' to boil.
Corn out of boiling water and into cold water to cool rapidly.
7 cups of corn in freezer waiting for January and the next batch due later this week.

I know I blog about how much my Ma drives me crazy, but she did teach me important lessons in her kitchen and in her garden. I am proud that I can Put Food By and that I learned how to do it from her. If you want to help out tomorrow with the tomatoes let me know, I have two sharp pairing knives and some cold beers to share.

My Flowers in Picture Form

2008-08-12T10:18:00.005-05:00

Koi Pond, minus 50 or so fish. Last week we got rid of all but 10 fish, the pond is quite beautiful.

Corn plant, on my back porch. I moved all the house plants outside to the back porch and they are thriving!

This one is called a Lime Zinger and the picture does not do the color justice. It is the prettiest green I have ever seen.

Hostas that are grown in a container, it too is thriving!

Begonias.

Impatients

Tallest ever Sunflowers. They are at least 12 feet tall.

Lantanna, so pretty

Container Herb garden.

Thoughts on being honest

2008-08-07T22:28:00.002-05:00

Eddy Haskel is not the Anti Hippies' biological son. Before we got married the Anti Hippie and I discussed the adoption and felt it was the natural thing to do. Eddy did not know his biological father, and before he was two his biological father gave up parental rights and we had Eddy's last name changed to my last name. Eddy never questioned where is father was so it was never an issue for me.

The Anti Hippie and I thought that Eddy should come to the court house on the day of the adoption so that it would seem more formal in his little mind. Having never done this before I was unaware that the biological father's name would be mentioned throughout the court proceedings, several times. I worried myself sick on the way home from the courthouse about how many questions I would get from Eddy about said biological father. On the way home the boys found a turtle and all the questions never happened because of the turtle excitement. Several weeks later I sent out this email to friends and family as a script that they were supposed to follow if and when Eddy had questions.

Script:
A long time ago before Eddy Haskel was born Earthy Birthy Mama lived in Alaska, she had a baby there and his name was Eddy. Earthy Birthy Mama and Eddy lived in Alaska for a while. Earthy Birthy Mama was not being treated very nicely by a guy named Biological Father, who is Eddy's biological father. Earthy Birthy Mama called Crabby Patty and Red Green (her parents) and said that she wanted to leave and come live with them, because if Biological Father was not treating her right he probably would not treat baby Eddy very nicely either. So Crabby Patty and Red Green let Earthy Birthy Mama and Eddy live with them. Earthy Birthy Mama and Biological Father went to court and Biological Father left the court, because he did not like Eddy's Grandma Crabby Patty and Grandpa Red Green. Earthy Birthy Mama waited and waited until she met a really nice guy named the Anti Hippie. Earthy Birthy Mama and the Anti Hippie got married and the Anti Hippie became Eddy's dad when they adopted Eddy on June 14, 2006. The Anti Hippie is Eddy's Dad.

See, Eddy is a sneak and he could possibly blindside someone into giving out information that could quite possibly create a web of problems for me. So in my email I told friends and family to stick to the 'script' and if there were questions that they could not possibly answer that they should let me know and I would take care of the situation.

Everyone has been cool with the script thing, until tonight. Eddy was prying me for information, and I told him everything. I told him that I made mistakes, but he was not a mistake. I was mistreated and abused and that his biological father was not very nice. I even showed him pictures that I had been saving of what his Biological father looked like. I figured he would like me better in the long run if I was honest. We had a real frank conversation about my feelings on his biological father, and why I made choices. I made it clear that some of my choices were not right, or fair, or even legal, but they were my choices. I asked him if he had any questions and he wanted to know if I married the Anti Hippie because he was the opposite of his father? I told Eddy that the Anti Hippie respects me as a person, as a woman, as a partner, and loves me for who I am. The Anti-Hippie also loves Eddy with his whole heart as if he were Eddy's biological father and that is why we are so tough on him. That is why we expect him to be the best, because in our eyes he is the best. Eddy is the best mistake I ever made.

So being honest with Eddy tonight made me feel better. I feel like I have fewer skeletons in my closet, I feel like I don't have to be angry anymore about decisions that I made for the betterment of my family. It is time to let go of the anger I feel towards Biological Father and let Eddy become the person he is supposed to be, with the father that really truly loves him.

Open letter to White Trash Babysitter

2008-08-05T00:24:00.004-05:00

Dear White Trash Teenage Babysitters at the Pool,

Hey Girls, you looked really hot today in your brassieres (bras) that you were wearing as bikini tops. Did you know that the little boy crying at the gate of the baby pool was in your care today? The weather here is hot as an oven, we are under a heat warning for Pete's Sake. Yeah I know we are at the pool but you can still get dehydrated in the water and you can sure as heck get sun poisoning. Maybe he was crying because he was hungry, tired, or thirsty. I am sure his white trash mama gave you some money to buy him something from the vending machines at the pool. You looked really refreshed drinking that cold Mountain Dew, from the vending machines.
Oh, you did not see him crying? Is that because you were on your phone or because you were too wrapped up in your ghetto talk with your other friend to notice, the crying tired little boy standing at the gate of the baby pool. Yeah you girls sounded so ghetto to me, like you came straight out of the hood, or in our town I think we call it the Trailer Park.
I am sure you would have noticed that the other Mamas and Grand-mamas at the pool kept on giving you dirty looks if you would have put down the phone. You would have also heard us saying stuff to the little boy like "honey I am sure your mama will be here soon" and "did you eat any lunch today?" and best of all "honey who is supposed to be watching you, why are you all alone in here?"
Well White Trash Babysitter you were too preoccupied with whatever it is that you were doing to notice, but I did. Did you get a date with CJ, KJ, or TJ ? Couldn't help overhearing your conversations, as you were talking on your phone while sitting in the baby pool. Your bra tan lines look fabulous, but I wouldn't let you watch my freakin' lizards!

Yours, EBM

Happy World Breast Feeding Week

2008-08-04T18:35:00.005-05:00

Baby Eddy Haskell and Earthy Birthy Mama circa July 1999

I just visited Mamac-Ta's blog and there is the most beautiful picture of Mamac-Ta and her boy nursing. With this being World Breast Feeding Week I just wanted to give a shout out to all those Mamas who nursed or who tried to nurse. I know that some people choose not to breast feed, and I am fine with that, as you know the opinions expressed here are my own.
I just want to share the joys that I have been able to experience while I have nursed two babies. When Eddy was born, he and I had a hard time at first working it out, but once we did we were quite a team. He would choke on milk at first until he learned to wait for my let-down. He would nurse to sleep, and when he was learning to walk he fell really hard a few times and just wanted his mama to soothe his pains. Then one day when he was about 17 months old he just stopped, he did not need me anymore. He just woke up one day and realized he was an independent little man and did not want to nurse. I had recently left the "sperm donor" and I went through a sort of post-postpartum depression. I really missed those close times with him and I needed the contact, but he was growing and becoming a very independent young person. As an added bonus of nursing Eddy I was back down to what I weighed in high school!

I met the Anti-Hippie in 04 and was happy with one kiddo and thought that I did not need anymore children. Meanwhile, I touted the benefits of breastfeeding to anyone who would listen. Not many people want to breastfeed, many people think it is gross, it takes too much time, or they are too modest, or they do not want to admit that breast are really naturally designed for babies. I bought breastfeeding books for friends who were having babies and I still tell women I know who are pregnant or are thinking of getting pregnant that I will help them and give them the support that they need if they want to try and breastfeed. (I secretly want to become a lactation consultant and work with new mothers. )I digress, the Anti Hippie and I decided that when we had a baby they would be breastfed, and lo-and-behold we had Baby Gnat last summer and she is still being fed by my wonderful breasts. She is a marathon nurser, she wants to nurse all the time, in her own way. If she could she would nurse all night and all day, in between being nosey about the world around her, she likes to look around while she nurses. With the awesome babysitter I had I was able to pump and nurse at lunch and Baby Gnat was able to have breast milk almost the whole time while at R's house. R even fed Baby Gnat her bottle in a way that was similar to the way that I hold her when she nurses. I sometimes had to supplement with formula due to medication, but otherwise Eddy and Baby Gnat are both breastfed babies.

I want to thank those people who supported me and those who are still supporting me and my decisions. I also want to tell all those Mamas who nursed, who tired nursing, and who are still nursing keep up the good work, and Happy World Breast Feeding Week '08.

Not a Very Good Friend

2008-08-04T12:25:00.002-05:00

Dear Earth Muffin,

I really need to apologize for not getting back to you about last Saturday and the Live on the Levee concerts. I really meant to get back to you and tell you that we had a retirement party to go to and that I just really have run out of time this summer. I am really sorry, as I knew that you wanted some time away from your house right now. I never emailed you to tell you that I was not going to make it and we never went to the retirement party because Eddy was not being a very cooperative child and Baby Gnat is teething horribly right now.
I really wished I would have said "Mr. Anti Hippie, you can handle this" and gone to the concert. I am sorry that I never called or emailed.

Please get in touch with me this week so we can plan a "play-date" before we have to get back on schedules and the like!

Love, EBM

Found: Baby Sitter

2008-07-31T12:13:00.002-05:00

All this week I have been struggling with the fact that I have to find a baby sitter for Baby Gnat. In fact I have been struggling with this since we left the awesome sitter when the school year ended. I contacted Community Child Care Connections and they emailed me a list of providers in V-Town and G-Town. I called all the providers here in V-Town, and either they were full or they did not answer their phones nor did they call me back when I left a message.
I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to call the names of the providers on the list, in the town south of here. The first person I called had 2 spaces available and I scheduled an interview for last night. I invited Mr. Anti-Hippie to go along, as he did not really like our other sitter. See she was in the process of being licensed and this is the Anti-Hippie's first baby so he was real nervous about her being there, I on the other hand made the executive decision and she went. I loved that sitter she was the greatest. Anyway I digress, we went to the interview last night and Anti-Hippie liked her, her name is Jamie and she has been doing daycare for over 14 years. Her house is nice and seems really kid friendly. I have a good feeling about her, but I still miss R. I did not ask about cloth diapers, but she will do breast milk. Baby Gnat will be the youngest child in her care.
I am very nervous about leaving Gnat with anyone. I feel confident I did make a good choice. I am just worried about all the changes that will be happening the next few weeks. I resigned from my job, I start student teaching on August 18th, Eddy starts school on August 18th, and the Anti Hippie is on his AT with the Navy starting on the 18th. I freak out at change, even more so than a kid would, I resist change, I am scared shit- less of change. But, every new adventure starts somewhere. Right?

You do not live here anymore

2008-07-29T11:08:00.002-05:00

Dear Jim and Becki,

You no longer own this house, you sold it to Mr. Anti-Hippie and Earthy Birthy Mama. It is no longer your worry. We have two smaller children and if we want to tear up your old landscaping to make our yard bigger we are going to do so, if we want to rent a skid steer and move piles of dirt, it is our business to do so, if we want to move the rocks we can do so because we now own the house. Please quit driving by to see what we are doing. You are so creeping me out! And while we are at it tell the nosey neighbors to quit calling you every time we move a stick in our yard!

Love, Earthy Birthy Mama new owner of the house in V-Town

You're OUT

2008-07-24T11:39:00.002-05:00

I just got the call, he is outta there. I need to take some deep breaths on my way to pick him up. Get this: he was not listening!! Go figure, so much for date night tonight and one more night without him. I am so LIVID right now I could just spit. So off we go to pick him up. He was asked to not come tomorrow for the program, so Earth Muffin I won't be there :(

Letting it Roll off my back

2008-07-24T11:24:00.003-05:00

So here is where I usually post something really SNARKY about Crabby Patty, but today I am all grown up and I will not let her get to me. I am letting it roll, roll, roll, right off of my back!!

And it's One, Two, Three Strikes Your Out

2008-07-24T09:37:00.002-05:00

Eddy Haskell is at Nature Day camp this week. He is staying with my parents all this week, and he was under direct instruction not to misbehave this week, at camp and at the grandparent's house. Nature camp has a strict discipline policy that states if you get three strikes during the week they will call your parents and you will be asked to leave camp.
When I talked to Eddy on Tuesday he said camp was going well and that he could not wait until next year when the campers get to 'camp out' one night. Well, yesterday Crabby Patty calls me and tells me Eddy has something to tell me, he got two strikes. He failed to mention that one of the strikes he got on Tuesday and the other one he got Wednesday. I was so angry with him, one for being dishonest, as he has the propensity to tell people what they want to hear and two because he is such a smart kid who really should not be getting in to trouble.
So I drove up to my parents house to lecture the kid, on being dishonest and to scare the bejeebers out of him so that he won't get the THIRD strike. I laid it out that he would not be watching television, he would be going to bed early, and he would not get to go to camp early in the morning, he would be arriving at the same time as all the other campers.
So, this morning he and Crabby Patty called me to wish me a Happy Birthday. I reiterated to him once more that he does not have anymore warnings, that the next inappropriate behavior he exhibits will get him kicked out of camp.
Let's hope the phone does not ring today. And boy howdy let's hope that he keeps it in line for the next two days.

My Baby is One

2008-07-22T08:36:00.002-05:00

I have not been blogging for the past few days because:
a.) I have been busy
b.) I have been spending time with my family
and c.) Eddy left for camp on Sunday and is staying with my parents.
Yesterday was Baby Gnats first birthday, we actually celebrated it on Sunday with family, all except my parents and grandparents. See we had a party on July 4th for my Grandma's birthday and my mom and grandma gave the baby her gifts on that day. That was fine with me, except my mother Crabby Patty gave the baby an American Girl Doll, she got her Nikki the 2007 American Girl Doll of the year. Nikki is good with animals and is training a dog to be a service dog, very fitting for my mother, but WTF? Baby Gnat cannot play with this doll, not now and probably not ever, this toy is for kids 8 years and older, it says so right on the box, and this doll is not even in production anymore, so will she be worth millions when Baby Gnat is older?? Anyway it is a beautiful doll don't get me wrong, but this is like the time she bought Eddy Haskell a Fiesta Ware Tea party set when he was like 3, and he never got to use it.
Anyway we did have a lovely party the other day, she got some great appropriate outfits for the fall and winter, she got some developmentally appropriate toys that stack and sort, and Aunt Kate made her the coolest book about our back yard. Kate made this book out of fabric and she put the koi, the birds, the turtles, my garden, the dogs, everything is in this book, when I get the camera charged I need to post some pictures of this, it really kicks ass!!
Finally the cake, the cake was a huge success. I cut 3 small seedless watermelons and stacked them on a plate to make a cake of sorts, then I put some whip cream and a candle on the top and ta da, we had ourselves some cake. The baby loved it, and I even let her have the piece with the whipped cream on it and she went to town. It was a lovely party and a lovely time was had by all.
I then took Eddy down the road to meet my dad, Red Green as Eddy is staying on the "farm" for this week while he is at camp. I do miss him, as it is awfully quiet around here.
Yesterday The Anti Hippie and I went to the capital city to do some shopping and Baby Gnat hung out with us all day, I did a play by play for her as to what was happening a year ago, as it was her real birthday. We had a great day and now I cannot believe that I no longer have a baby but a one year old girl!! Happy Birthday.

Mosquitoes

2008-07-19T11:33:00.003-05:00

I was under the impression that because we had such a cold winter last year that the bug population would be somewhat diminished. Was I wrong? Apparently. The Mosquitoes here are the size of golf balls and they are ruthless, they bite and bite and bite. My legs are so very bitten right now, it is as if I were a small child again. Eddy Haskell's legs look awful, what with the scabs, the blood dripping onto his socks because he won't stop scratching, and the calamine lotion that I insist he uses.
I go outside to hang up laundry, or to take down laundry, or to water the plants, or to just be outside and I am eaten alive. Now, I have tried: rubbing myself with dryer sheets, dousing myself in Vanilla, dousing myself in Warm Vanilla Sugar body splash from Bath and Body, I bought some citronella spray from our food coop, I tried Off, I have tried Deet free spray, lotions, and homemade potions. Nothing is working, my face and neck are not safe from the mosquitoes wrath. As I have posted earlier I love being outside, although right now I am considering wearing full body armor when I venture outside.

My Name is Earthy Birthy Mama and I have an addiction

2008-07-18T22:31:00.002-05:00

I love plants. I cannot stop buying plants. It all started several years ago when Eddy Haskell and I still lived with my parents. My dad, Red Green, being a true naturalist did not want non native flowers planted at his house so I started some container gardens. My first containers were very simple, geraniums, marigolds, and some petunias. The next year I had some containers of impatiens, some geraniums, some chamomile, and some cannas. When I moved in with the Anti-Hippie he and Eddy bought me some planters and various annuals for Mother's Day. Over the years I have planted numerous annuals and now some perennials. I usually start buying plants at the annual FFA plant sale at a local high school, then I visit various nurseries, this one being my favorite. I spend a lot of money on these plants, but my flowers are gorgeous. I also spend a lot of time watering, feeding, and pruning the plants. I know I need to stop, as most won't last through the bitter harsh winters of the mid-west, but I can't. Actually I can because I am out of potting soil, and containers to put the plants in, I actually used an old tool box as a planter a few days ago, because I was out of containers. The Anti-Hippie says it has to stop as well, although I could have other habits that are far worse. When I get some time I will post some pictures of my favorites.

Poop

2008-07-17T18:05:00.002-05:00

This afternoon after Baby Gnat went swimming in her kiddie pool in the drive way and after she had eaten I laid her down for a nap. (She is still taking 2 naps a day!) I usually let her cry herself to sleep, I heard crying then I heard nothing. I got Eddy Haskell and his friend ADHD a snack as they had been busy playing video games. I heard the most blood curling screams from the pack n play where Baby Gnat was supposed to be napping. I poked my head inside to tell her that everything was alright, and what did I see? A naked baby girl covered from head to toe in poop. She managed to get her diaper off, whether this was before or after her poop I will never know. There was poop on the netting part of the pack n play, there was poop in between her toes, there was poop in her hair, there was poop everywhere. I guess letting the babe nap in only her diaper was a big mistake.
I promptly put her in the shower and cleaned her off, then I put on a fresh diaper and put her into the excer-saucer so that I could clean up the pack n play. I stripped the sheet and then took the pack n play outside and hosed that sucker off. I am here alone with the kids today because Mr. Anti Hippie had to work. Lucky guy! So now the pack n play is out drying in the warm sunshine, and I am having a beer.

I am not trying to be a bad mother

2008-07-14T17:34:00.002-05:00

Next week Baby Gnat will turn one. I have no desire to have a big ass birthday party. The night she entered the world it was just the Anti-Hippie and myself, so I see that it is only fitting that we quietly celebrate the day that she came into this world. I am planning on having a few close relatives come over and eat some water-melon, and that is about it. I am not purchasing a "Dive Cake", a cake that a baby can get messy with, I am not making a cake. The girl absolutely loves water melon so that is what I will be serving.
I am not against having a party, but parties for babies are really for the parents and the grandparents. She will not remember it, although I am sure there will be lots of photographs taken. She is very special to her family, but we are not having a big party for her. I am sure that her cousin who was born two weeks after her, will have a big she-bang of a party, but I am not that baby's mother. I think that we might have a place where guests can write the baby a sweet note that I will tuck into her baby book. I know that this is my decision, but I just got a call from Aunt Duckie and she wanted to know about the party. So next Sunday you are all invited to my house for some watermelon and a real happening PARTY!!

WTF? Wednesday

2008-07-09T18:17:00.002-05:00

#1. WTF Eddy Haskell? Are you going through puberty right now? Do you have to sass me and back talk me, and get the last word in all the time? Come on kid, I know having a sibling who takes all my attention away is not 'cool' with you, but kid you get to do everything your little heart desires. You get all the freedom in the world, just check in with me every so often so that I know that you are okay. Could you please cut out the BS, could you please just stop whining, and for crying out loud could you please stop back-talking me, or you will be in your room for the rest of the summer, enough said.

#2. WTF Mr. Anti Hippie? I know you and Eddy needed a hair-cut today, but did you have to come with me down to co-op pick up? I needed to go to B-Town for co-op pick up, then to WR to the credit union, then to BH to the grocery store to buy some meat, as I had an awesome coupon for like $10.00 off, then it was back home. I could have run all those errands in like 3 hours, but no. You needed a hair cut, which meant, that we go to co-op pick up, then to the credit union, then you are hungry so we stop at Sgt. Peppers for brunch, then you just want to look at the welding torches, so we stop, then we go get the meat, then Baby and I wait in the hot car for you and Eddy to get hair cuts, and then we take the long way home, because you want to look at the spillway at the lake. Mainly, because you want to take Eddy fishing there. Then we get home, and you are sooo hungry, and your stomach hurts. Okay next time go get a hair cut with out me, I hate being in a car when I cannot drive, so thanks but no thanks, I will drive myself.

#3. WTF Mother? So as I already mentioned I got these great coupons from the little grocery store, in the town in which I used to reside in. They still have a butcher who cuts all the meat, Wednesdays are the best days to get meat, so this being Wednesday and it is on the way I planned on stopping. Which brings me back to my original point, I had previously asked Crabby Patty to get me my meat, she lives really close to this grocery, and she shops there often. I kept on telling her, use the coupons and get me some 'riblets'. Well she had never heard of them, were they really called ribs, or spare ribs, or something else? No Mother, they are called riblets and I bought them all by myself and used the coupons, so there.

#4. WTF Summer Vacation? It seems as if I only started this vacation a few weeks ago, and really I did. But, I cannot believe that it is July 9th already. I always get panicked by July 4th, I know that it is the downward spiral towards the end of summer, yet I still have a ton of shit that is still on my "To Do List". So Summer vacation please slow down, I have just a little over a month left and then you will be gone. Please slow down, I have yet to take the kids to the pool!

Honey Do

2008-07-03T16:25:00.002-05:00

Today it is kinda wet outside to Eddy Haskell and Mr. Anti-Hippie cannot mow the grass, I however have found many things on my honey do list that my boys can do:

Take Tubs of clothes to attic

Hang some stuff

Make beds

Clean House for company

Get all laundry to laundryroom

Thanks, Earthy Birthy Mama

Tick, going for the gold

2008-07-01T09:09:00.004-05:00

Last night when I went in the bathroom to get ready for a shower, I noticed that I might be getting an ingrown hair, in my nether regions. I am quite limber so I put my foot up on the sink to get a better look. Guess what I found?
A teeny tiny baby tick had attached itself to my nether region. Of course I thought, it is warm and moist here, why not. I did not panic, but once I figured out the cause of all of my discomfort, it did make me feel a little squeamish. I tried all the home remedies that I knew to try and get it to pull his little head out, I smothered him in Vasaline, I smothered him in soap, I wiped him with isopropyl alcohol, I painted him with finger nail polish, and yet the little bugger did not pull his head out. By the time Mr. Anti-Hippie got home the tick bite really itched and my neck hurt from bending at such an angle. Mr. Anti-Hippie went right to work on helping me out, not to mention he kinda likes hanging out down there. Unfortunately when he tried to remove said tick, the tick was too small and he only got the body.
As of right now I am alternating between lemon and potato slices to try and draw the head out, the lemon is oh so fresh!! I am a very nature oriented person, so ticks do not surprise me, but ticks going for the GOLD, do!

WTF Eddy Haskel

2008-06-27T20:26:00.003-05:00

Well, Eddy did it again. He put something in his ear. Yeah he is nine years old and knows better, but he did it any way. He previously put a pearl button in his ear, when he was like 2 years old. Well, the bean in his ear must have been bothering him for a while, at first I thought it was a bug. I called my MIL who is a nurse, and asked her for the otoscope. She had let Aunt Ducky (they have a pet duck) borrow it, and she had not returned it. So I googled "things in ears" and I came up with some pretty disgusting pictures, try it sometime. None the less, the internet suggested that I use a bulb syringe and some warm water to flush it out, and I be damned if a bean/seed did not come out of his ear.
So the next time you see my boy and he has earmuffs on in the middle of the summer you'll know why.

Baby Sitter , copied from Earth Muffin

2008-06-27T15:38:00.003-05:00

As posted over at The Land of Earth Muffin, here are some reasons why the babysitter rocked:

1. As a mother of a newborn baby, the babysitter did everything I asked. From holding her a certain way when she fed Baby Gnat her bottles of breast milk, to having her ready to go the minute I walked in the door. With our busy schedule, the babysitter knew that some days I was in a hurry.
2. As mentioned by Earth Muffin she was willing to use cloth diapers. This was a big selling point for me. She sacked the diapers up each night for me to take home and wash. This saved me loads of cash.
3. The babysitter was not that expensive considering all my requests. She was $25 a day, or $100 a week, so if the baby went the whole week I got Fridays for free. Looked into sending her to TTLC, which is a pre-school day care center just a few more blocks away, and they would not do cloth diapers, breast milk, and since she was not potty trained and was in diapers it was like $175 a week, with a three day minimum. Well Mr. Anti Hippie's work schedule is so crazy there would be some weeks where the baby would attend the whole week and some weeks where she would only need care one or two days.
4. My final reasons can be summed up into one last number. The babysitter knew what it was like to be a working mother. I also came at lunches to feed the baby. I too had a nice quite place to sit and nurse. Finally, the babysitter is just a genuinely nice person, one of the nicest that I know. I will miss her, as I am looking for a new sitter because of our recent move. I know that the new sitter probably will not let me use cloth diapers, and I know because of work obligations that I will not be coming on my lunch to nurse. Babysitter, thank you. Thank you for caring for Baby Gnat as if she were your own. I miss you and I recommend you to anyone who will listen.

I know

2008-06-23T22:19:00.004-05:00

I know why I get so frustrated with my mother. It is because I always think of ways to tell her off way after she has left. I know why Mr. Anti Hippie seems so stand offish when she is around, it is because he has to pick up the pieces when she leaves, when she leaves me in a tizzy. I so wish I could just tell her that I am hostile because she is the main reason I left for Alaska 11 years ago, she is the main reason why Baby Gnat does not like her, she is the main reason why I started my period yesterday, after 19 months of not having one, Sunday morning I woke up feeling shitty. In fact, I still feel really crampy right now.

Dear Mother,

I am your daughter, you raised me to respect my elders which is why I cannot tell you to your face that you frustrate me so much, and that I moved up here because I wanted to. I love you, but I am not your BFF, I am your daughter. You should relish in the fact that I love my husband dearly, and we still sleep in the same bed, I love my Eddy Haskel not because he looks like Uncle Nascar, but because I worked my ass off to make a better life for he and I. I also love Baby Gnat, no matter how spoiled she is, I love her because Mr. Anti-Hippie and I created this beautiful life together. Oh yeah and one more thing, I want more babies. No, I do not want to be bare foot and pregnant, but I still feel like I want more children.
I really wonder what you when home and told dad the other night when you left my house, with the beer. You should be proud of me for going to school, being responsible, managing a house, and our money. Mr. Anti-Hippie and I really worked on our relationship last year when you were not talking to me, I found that if I went directly to him with the problems that we were having, the problems seemed to get fixed, we are grown, responsible adults. I still am a strong woman, and no I do not need a man to complete me, but he is my best friend and lover, he and the kids are what makes me strong, not to mention all the other hurdles that I have had to cross to get here, where I am.
I am comfortable with my life, I am not you, I will never be you. I do not ever want to be you, yes you did a great job, but cut the freaking apron strings. Have I not shown you that I can be an adult, have I not shown you that I am a fully capable person.

Love, Your Daughter Earthy Birthy Mama

P.S. thanks for not calling me today

My Yard Sale (Beer)

2008-06-22T21:19:00.003-05:00

I have finally recovered from the yard sale, it was a lot of work, but we managed to get rid of a ton of stuff. It all began when we moved into this house. As I have spoken of before, it is really large but I do not feel that it needs to be filled with clutter and things. I have been gathering items to have in the yard sale since before we moved here, yes I know I actually moved those items, but I knew that I might be able to make some money from them. So last week Auntie Katie and I started pricing and arranging stuff in the garage, as we actually were not having the sale inside the garage, but in the big drive way just off of the garage. Well we moved some of the Anti-Hippie's stuff, and we never heard the end of it.
We got all of our items priced and were prepared for the sale which we were going to have for two days. Thursday my mother came up because she was selling some of her Longaberger Baskets at my sale. She came up a day early because she had sent out invitations inviting all of her friends to come up to my house to look at her baskets, she used to sell the damn things in the late eighties and nineties, then she quit because she did not like the direction the company was going, don't ask. She came up with beer and snacks, in hopes of selling some of her baskets. See she is now into making her own baskets and the profit from this sale was going to help her pay for the basket making work-shops. Needless to say I was having a yard sale and people were looking for bargains, not baskets that were actually priced at Bentley Book value. Anyway I digress.
Katie and I set up for the yard sale on Friday morning, and we were quite surprised with the amount of people that came considering that it was a week day. We had some really interesting items in the sale, 3 big wooden boxes that really looked like pirate's treasure chests, 3 reel to reel recorders from the United States Navy that belonged to my SIL's father, a head stone that I found in my landscaping, silk clip on ties from the seventies, the list goes on and on. Well Auntie Katie kept moving stuff up to this one spot and we kept on timing how long it would take to sell once an item was placed in this one spot. There was a carpet cleaner that sold within 15 minutes of being placed in this spot, the treasure chest sold with in a half and hour of being placed in this spot, and the head stone with Jesus and the lambs sold with in 5 minutes of placing it in that spot. I have no idea where the head stone came from nor the purpose of the head stone, I found it under some vines in the landscaping, it was granite and Jesus and some lambs were on it, there was no writing, and it was not marking a pet cemetery. Like I have posted on here before, the previous owner of this house had quite an extensive rock collection, I wonder if this "stone" was part of his collection. The people that bought the stone had just lost a horse that they had as a pet for the past 19 years, so they were going to use the stone for a marker for their beloved pet. I personally thought the stone was creepy and I am glad it sold in the sale.
One of the funniest items that sold was a mock, mock turtle neck. Auntie Katie and I were sorting clothes and she made a comment about the mock turtle neck inside of a mock turtle neck and I could not stop laughing. So Friday morning while some customers were shopping I was telling my mom about the mock turtle neck that was a double mock turtle neck, and I started to laugh again, then this lady picked it up and said "well I like this, I think I want it" that prompted me to say "well I guess I cannot make fun of it anymore.
So all in all it was a good sale I made some money, my mom made me crazy, and Auntie Katie kept me sane. My mom left yesterday after the sale and she actually sold some of her baskets, but she took her beer home with her. What kind of stingy person actually does that, if I put beer in someone's fridge and there is some left after we have partied, I usually leave it there, unless they do not drink my flavor of beer. I went in to cool off after cleaning up and the beer was gone out of my fridge, she used my house for her sale, she used my sale to sell her shit, but she took her beer. WTF???

Photo Shoot

2008-06-17T10:17:00.007-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I am a really lucky person. We had been planning a 'photo shoot' for a long time, with my SIL Shelly Belly, she suggested that we do it on an overcast day as I wanted the pictures taken outside on my lawn. Friday the 13th, Shelly Belly came over to take said pictures. The kids cleaned up sort of well, and had on complimenting shirts from the Gap, BO(RED) and INSPI(RED). I was thinking this was going to be a big pain, but surprisingly it turned out great. Thanks Shelly Belly you really captured my kids, and now I have art for my wall.

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-15T16:06:00.006-05:00

Dear Mr. Anti-Hippie,

Happy Father's Day. I am very happy that you adopted Eddy and that we had Baby Gnat together. You are the best dad that our two kids could have. You are patient, kind, caring, firm yet fun, not hot headed (like Earthy Birthy Mama), and most of all loving.

Thank you and I love you,

Earthy Birthy Mama

Uncle NASCAR, A Real Momma's Boy

2008-06-12T21:25:00.005-05:00

My brother Uncle Nascar and I have this love hate relationship. I hate him because he always gets away with it, he loves me because I am an easy target and I always take his bait. My brother was in a serious car accident over 8 years ago. He was probably drunk, and he fell asleep at the wheel and rolled his mini-van, and suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). So the brother that I grew up with no longer exists.
Uncle Nascar believes he is the only one, the only one who has to work, who has to pay taxes, who has a mortgage, and who has to put up with the daily BS called life. He is the only one who works overtime, drives in traffic, shops at Wal-Mart, and listens to FOX News. He calls all the time to tell me how hard he is working, and how tough life is. But get this he is 28 years old, he lives in North Carolina and my Mother calls him every morning to wake him up. She gets up, even on the weekends and calls him and makes sure he is up so that he can go to work. I can't stand this, he is an adult, capable of purchasing alarm clocks, yet his mommy calls him every morning to wake him up.
Uncle Nascar moved to North Carolina because a friend of his lived down there, or so he says. I really cannot figure out why he moved down there, other than he likes NASCAR and he is far away from our parents. When I left home I moved to Alaska, 3000 miles away.
Uncle Nascar used to live in Illinois, and used to go to shows with me. I liked going and seeing some Hippy Bands every now and then and since I was single, I used to ask him to go with, just because I am nice. Well going to shows with me was an excuse to drink, because I would stay sober so that a.) we did not get mugged in down town St. Louis, b.) because I dance better sober, and c.) I would be the one to get him out of the truck when we got home.
This one time, Earth Muffin can vouch for me, we were at a Big Wu show and he went to the bathroom and was gone for a really long time, well Mr. Earth Muffin went in to check on him, and found him puking. Uncle Nascar gets my keys and goes out to my truck to sleep it off, when the show ends, it is starting to snow and I am banging on my own truck window for Uncle Nascar to wake up and let me in. When we finally got home, 3 hours later, I had to fire fighter carry Uncle Nascar to the porch.
Uncle Nascar, never remembers birthdays, adoption days, holidays, or anything. Every year Eddy Haskel painstakingly picks out gifts for Uncle Nascar, yet every year Uncle Nascar does not get the boy who totally idolizes him anything. Once when he came home from North Carolina, he was going to hang out at a friend's house and had brought gifts for their children, he felt guilty so he gave Eddy his pocket knife. It was the sharpest freaking knife I have ever seen, and yes I carry a knife in my pocket. But I could not let Eddy have the knife, even supervised he could do serious damage.

So upon closing this post, daily I mourn the brother that I lost that fateful night in June, 8 years ago. I am sorry that I will be the one taking care of my crazy parents, (see previous posts). And I am embarrassed for Uncle Nascar that he still needs his mommy, even though she weaned him from her breast 26 years ago.

I Forgot

2008-06-12T21:11:00.002-05:00

Baby Gnat is almost walking, and I forgot. I forgot that babies get into things that they are not supposed to get into, and they go places that are dangerous. Actually I did not forget, I just thought that maybe she would NEVER walk. The new house we moved into is not at all child-proof. When the Brady Bunch lived here their children were all above the age of 4. I think when they actually renovated the house they were trying to make it more dangerous. I have a spiral stair case from the game room into my kitchen, and I could fall through those balusters.

I forgot how babies gravitate towards danger, outlets, Grandfather clocks, Legos. I am constantly asking Eddy to pick up his Legos, because Baby Gnat loves the pretty colors and loves putting things into her little mouth. I forgot, babies who wiggle manage to get poop on their clean clothes, third outfit of the day. It is summer so most of the time I forgo and outfit, as she gets messy even without the poop. I forgot that my little baby burrito, would grow up and want to walk. I am in the safety mode here, and I will try not to let her get into it, but damn it Eddy pick up those Legos.

It's Friday and it's raining (again)

2008-06-06T14:46:00.004-05:00

Well first off a big thanks to Auntie Katie for going yard "sailing" this morning. We found some great stuff. My personal favorites are the 2 heirloom quilts that I got for $15.00 each, they totally go with this house we live in, and the wooden folding chair from the Illinois State Fair. We also ate lunch at the coffee shop here in town, owned by two gay guys. So, the food is FANTASTIC and the atmosphere is totally 'city like'.

The main reason why I am here blogging today is my MIL. I love her dearly, but right now she is sort of sick. Last week she flunked a stress test, and when the results came back she has partial blockage in an artery, like a main artery. I am not what you would call an alarmist, but I am really concerned for her, and for us. I know this sounds totally selfish, but after all the hullabaloo is over and everyone has brought there covered dishes to share, and taken their turn caring for her, guess who will ultimately be responsible?? Us. Mr. Anti-Hippie and myself. She actually told us first, we found out last week. She however waited until yesterday to drop the news to the rest of her kids.

My MIL is a very hard worker, she works as a NICU nurse and an emergency room nurse at both the hospitals in our capital city. She is a good nurse and has turned out to be a somewhat wonderful MIL. When her 4 kids were young though, she left them. She had just lost her 6 year old daughter, whom she had when she was only a teenager. Her daughter Stephanie had leukemia, and would have been 4 years older than me. The loss of Stephanie sent her into a down-ward spiral of depression and probably drug and alcohol abuse. This is all speculation, as I never broach the subject with her. All I know is that my husband and his 3 siblings were raised by their father, who was given custody. This was in the early 1980's and for a father to be given custody was sort of unheard of. So as MIL's kids grew up, she made up for not being there by giving. She gives them money and stuff all of the time, like she is making up for not being there. I do not understand this, but I love her and I love my husband.

But, I am scared that if something happens to her, or she becomes incapacitated in some way shape or form, we will be the ones to pick up the pieces and get matters settled. I know that if something happens to my parents I definitely will be the one taking care of them as my brother, Uncle Nascar is too wrapped up in his own life down in North Carolina to even think that I might need help up here in the mid-west. Anyway, I hope that I am worrying for nothing and that this all works out okay.

I love you MIL and Crazy Fucked Up Family, even if you piss me off!!

Wednesday WTF (borrowed from CDJ)

2008-05-28T22:26:00.002-05:00

WTF weather? Hey can you just pick a season and stay there? huh? This is the prairie, not some far off land that gets a monsoon once a year, could you just stop raining so that I can get the rest of my garden planted???

WTF Brother and Sister in Law? See previous posts, this one, this one, and this one. You bought a boat? You have a sick baby who has medical bills, you dear SIL are unemployed, yet you thought you would 'stimulate' the economy by buying a bass boat. Are you kidding me? You still did not apologize for not getting me some fucking coffee the other day, but you bought a boat. Real smart.

WTF turtles? Why do you cross the road during rush hour? Why do you have to cross the road? Aren't there ponds and other hot turtles on that side of the road? Why must you cross when you know I cannot possibly stop and help you? Please, find suitable mating partners on your own side of the road?

WTF nosy neighbors? Okay I know we are new to this neighborhood, but for goodness sakes my husband grew up here, we are not from a foreign country, STOP STARING AT ME AND SPYING ON ME. I know you hate dogs, but I do not hate dogs and I like picking up their turds, OKAY? I see you bouncing from window to window trying to get a better peek at what I am doing. If you really want to know, come over and ask me. I have a compost pile and wait until you get a load of my new clothes lines that I will be putting up next week when I am on summer break. That will freak you out, especially when I hang out my granny panties.

Finally Thanks Earth Muffin I had a great time getting some beers with you today, Happy End of the Suckiest School Year on Record.

Thanks CDJ for letting me borrow your WTF Wednesday idea.

Coffee, is that too much to ask

2008-05-24T15:55:00.002-05:00

Dear B & T,

I know it is your b-day weekend, but seriously. I forgot to get coffee on my way home from work yesterday, so last night we called you in hopes that you could stop by S n' S on your way home from your b-day dinner and buy us a small can of Thomas Coffee. You know it is a blue can with a cute little Scottie dog on the front of it?? Well Mother Fuckers you did not, you did not even fucking call and tell us that 'ooops we forgot'. Man that is low, that is really low. After all the shit we have done for you guys, I know it is your b-day and all, so Happy fucking Birthday.

Yeah I suck, I am pissy and grumpy from lack of Coffee

Thanks to you mother fuckers,

Love,
EBM

Murder

2008-05-21T20:37:00.002-05:00

Dear Husband,

I killed it. Remember last weekend when you brought home 2 new lizards, Uromastyxs to be exact. Well I hope you also remember that you left me in charge of these 2 new baby lizards (Uromastyxs), 1 Leopard Gecko, 25 or so Koi fish, 1 ten year old human male, 1 ten month old human female, and 2 domesticated canines. Most of these things need food and water on a daily basis, they need to have some one on one attention, they might need to be changed or bathed, and they might need a hug, kiss, or a swift kick to the ass. Well one of those baby Uromastyx died, sometime between 12am this morning when I finished blogging and 8:30 pm tonight when I came in to feed them some fresh lettuce. I do not know what killed it, all I know is that I called your step-brother to come over and remove it from the cage, as I cannot touch dead animals. I am really sorry, when you left on Sunday for your business trip and you thought I would be able to handle all of this, I think you were mistaken. I love you but I hate the reptiles you have brought into our relationship, and I am beginning to hate the pond, as I smell like algae right now.
Please do not get new baby lizards one day before you leave on business for a week. Good thing Eddy is not here tonight or I would have had to comfort him, at this time of loss.
Please call me so that I can tell you what happened, as I cannot reach you by cell phone right now. Are you at Hooters? Anyway, try not to be too mad at me, I am doing the best I can.

Love,
EBM

Six word Memoir

2008-05-20T22:55:00.004-05:00

I've been tagged by Earth Muffin to pen my six word memoir. I should be doing so many other things but here it goes:

Hard Working, Earth Loving, Assertive Mama

There are rules for this, but since I am a slacker and I did this 2 months late, I do not expect you to follow them. Thanks for reading, EBM

MeMe,

2008-05-20T22:41:00.003-05:00

My Best Friend Earth Muffin tagged me to do this meme ages ago, so instead of doing homework I will do this one last meme before I go to bed!!

5 Things

First, the rules:
1. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
2. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment letting them know they've been tagged and to ask them to play along and to read your blog.

What I was doing 10 years ago - 1998:
I was pregnant with Eddy Haskel
I was living in Alaska
I was running away from my MOTHER
I was ruining my life living with the sperm donor
I was growing up

Five things on my to-do list today:
Homework
Laundry
Get the coffee pot ready for tomorrow
Go to bed
Actually sleep

Snacks I enjoy:
Andy's Hot Fries
Ben and Jerry's Phish Food Ice Cream
Raw Veggies and Dip
Pepperidge Farm's Milano Cookies
Sour Gummy Worms

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Pay off our house and all other debt.
Travel
Set up a Trust Fund for the kids
Support local arts and music (and NPR)
Donate to the Serria Club and our local Nature Institute

Five of my bad habits:
Not exercising
Making excuses
Apologizing for things out of my control
Driving too fast
Not doing my homework

Five places I have lived:
Godfrey, Illinois
Staunton, Illinois
Plainview, Illinois
Fairbanks, Alaska
Virden, Illinois

Five jobs I've had:
Waitress
Christmas Tree Trimmer (worked at a tree farm, and during the summer we gave Christmas trees their lovely shape)
Baby Ballet teacher
Teacher Aide
Bar Maid

Five bloggers I tag:
Oh, whoever wants to do this, because I know you all have done this one before

Tag, I am it and you are next!!

2008-05-20T21:47:00.006-05:00

I was tagged by my best friend Earth Muffin to do this "Weird Facts About Myself" meme and since I dropped the ball on the last meme she sent it is about time that I do one.

The Rules:

Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 6 people to be tagged, list their names & why you tagged them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment saying “You’re it!” & to go read your blog. You cannot tag the person that tagged you, so since you’re not allowed to tag me back; let me know when you are done so I can go read YOUR weird/random/odd facts, habits and goals.

1. I am scared of heights, I am a fire-woman and I am scared shitless of heights. I cannot climb the ladder on the sliding board. I also get freaked out at the circus because I am afraid someone will fall. I cried during the bridge scene in Annie, because I was so scared for her, my mom actually got up from her seat in the theater and took me to the lobby during that scene.

2. I am a yeller. I yell at my kids and Mr. Anti-Hippie. I yell and cuss. I have a real potty mouth. I can honestly say I come by it naturally as Red Green (my dad) yells and cusses. When I was younger he would yell and cuss and it would scare the pants off of me, yet I yell and cuss too.

3. I leave used paper towels laying around my kitchen. If they have not wiped up blood, poop, snot, or barf I figure that when they dry I can reuse them, and I almost always do. I also reuse paper plates and plastic cups. You see, I buy those things at the store and they cost money and if it can be reused I will. I draw the line at dental floss and toilet paper, those are one use only products and can be thrown away after one use.

4. I love shoes and purses. When we moved I moved over 50 purses and tote bags. I have now narrowed that down to what ever will fit into my large tote bag. I also had to get rid of some shoes as my feet never went down to that pre-pregnancy size. Yeah I actually have bigger feet than I did last year, so many of my shoes went to the school nurse and the yard sale pile.

5. I am a freak about laundry. Towels need to be folded a certain way, and if they are not folded in half, then in half again, then into thirds (kinda like in the displays at Macy's) I will unfold them and refold them in the afore-mentioned manner. Socks get matched and then lay in the drawer, they never get tucked into one another, as that stretches the elastic. And T-shirts get folded like the display in Eddie Bauer or the Gap, the sides meet in the middle and then it is folded into thirds.

6. If I could eat from a cafeteria tray I would, I do not want my food to touch. I put rolls and bread on another plate, (probably a reused paper plate), I put dipping sauces into glass ramekins, and I take smaller portions so that no juices run into other things. My Great Grandmother, bless her soul, used to mix up her entire plate, and I know I am like her in many ways but I could never do that!!!

7. I hate hot dog buns and hamburger buns. Now when I have to eat fast-food or I am eating out I will eat a bun, but at home, my burgers get cut up and eaten with a fork, same goes for the hot dogs. I prefer Hebrew National hot dogs and they are so good with organic ketchup cut up into little pieces, yummy.

8. When I was 14 I tried to drive my dad's pick up truck to the mall to meet some friends, and I drove it off of our lane instead. Yeah never admitted this to anyone, but I was so in love with this guy that I was going to the mall no matter what. And guess who showed up at the same time the tow truck did? The parents. This was a dangerous stunt because if I would have gotten out on the other side of the truck, or even leaned over to the passenger side of the truck, it would have rolled down the hill, probably killing me.

9. I hate swimming in ponds or lakes. I am scared of what I cannot see, so swimming in a pond or a lake CREEPS me out. If I cannot see the bottom, then I am not swimming or even sticking my toes in. I am a great swimmer, but murky water is scary, what could be down there????

10. I hate it when someone is wearing sandals or flip flops and their toes are not painted or their nails look nasty. I hate feet, okay I wrote it. I love my feet, but looking at someone's nasty feet just does not make my day. Ladies and Gents if you are going to bare your feet, please make sure your toe nails are not long and gross, and if you are going to wear those shoes put some polish on your toes!!! I know that is so shallow of me, but if I have to look at them at least make them worth looking at.

Who do I tag?????

Charming and Delightful,
I tagged you because Earth Muffin did not tag you yet, and I think you probably feel the same way as I do about feet, and I would like to know your weird obsessions!!

Pump Room Confessions
I tagged you because I love your blog, and because I know you have some weird/random/odd facts, habits and goals. I also am running out of people to tag!!

So I need 4 more people to tag, so while I go find them please help me out!!

Love,
EBM

It is Planting Time

2008-05-18T21:54:00.003-05:00

Well we finally had a nice weekend, weather wise and Earthy Birthy Mama FINALLY planted her garden and all of those flowers that have been sitting on her porch for the past few weeks. The weather here has been crazy, winter did not want to release her grip on the mid-west, so all of my gardening attempts had not happened. But, alas today Todd and Willie came and tilled up my vegetable garden and I planted all my flowers in my containers.
I love getting dirty, I have a greenish thumb and I get very excited this time of year when all the local stores have all their plants out for sale. I always plant the staples like geraniums, petunias, Dusty Miller, and snap dragons. I love Begonias, but the weather here is sometimes too hot for Begonias. In the vegetable garden I still need to pick up some sweet potato starts and some egg-plant, but my tomatoes are in, as are the peppers, lettuce, edible sweet peas, pumpkins, squash, and the zucchini. I also planted some container herbs for my porch as the landscaping here does not yet permit me to plant in the actual ground.
I did however find a use for all those flipping rocks, Mr. Anti- Hippie put up a fence around the garden and we put almost all the rocks around the bottom to keep out the rabbits. He also helped me put down a layer of newspaper covered with straw and grass clippings to keep the weeds down. I need to buy one of those big floppy hats like the old gals wear so that the sun stays off my face and neck.
All in all it was a pretty great weekend, I cleaned off my front porch and got all that planting completed. The homework on the other hand kind of got put to the side, hopefully I can tackle that tomorrow.

Pest, oh I mean Pets

2008-05-15T20:02:00.003-05:00

Today was one of those days, one of those days that makes me wish I could win the lottery, so that I could stay home and so that I would be able to hire someone to take care of all those things that are necessary but that I dread doing. Now I am a strong capable woman, and work does not scare me. Nor am I one to think that domestic chores are gender specific, but......

When I got home today, a little later than usual, as I treated myself to a pedicure, I had and still have a ton of things to do before I can sit down and enjoy my newly painted toes. It has been raining here on the Illinois' Prairie and it is muddy outside, so taking care of our pets is quite a hassle right now. We used to have two inside dogs until one decided she would eat the one hundred year old wood work and then use the white carpet as a bathroom. So needless to say she is outside, and her pen is located very near a down spout, so her pen is full of mud and wet straw. So when I got home I had to feed her, and try not to get my toes too muddy, next came the **********(you fill in the word) Koi pond, yeah at my new house I no longer have a swimming pool, I have a Koi pond. A beautiful water feature, that needs attention EVERY DAY. You have to climb up another pile of rocks, and I am not kidding a pile of rocks to reach the first filter, that is for the water fall and then you have to clean the second filter and basket. Okay, I am not a wussy or anything, but algae ridden filters are not fun to clean, while once again I am trying not to ruin my TOES. This fish thing is a pain in my hemorrhoids. Finally I have to feed the lizard, actually if you talk to Mr. Anti-Hippie or Eddy it is a Leopard Gecko, (excuse me) and I have to get her out and hold her in one hand while I catch baby crickets in the other. Yeah and did I mention that I am doing all of this while trying to keep a 10 month old, out of the things she likes to play with like the VCR, dangerous outlets that are covered but they are on the floor, and stairs. Yeah real fun, so now I must go and uncork that bottle of Norton from the local winery and watch Grey's and LOST. So to all of you out there with pets, it could be worse!!

EBM

Open Letter to Parents

2008-05-10T13:18:00.002-05:00

As some of you may know I work as a teaching assistant at an elementary school. I have performed various duties as an assistant that include but are not limited to, being a personal care aide for two students who were in wheel-chairs, being a classroom assistant in an elementary special education classroom, being an assistant in a junior high special education classroom, and finally this year I am an assistant in the district's at-risk pre- kindergarten program. This year has been quite an eye opening experience, as these are the students who quite possibly could be identified later in their school career as needing special education services.

Dear Parents,

As this year comes to a close I must admit that I do not understand what is going through your heads, you have become the parent of this child, yet you seem so selfish to me. First of all when you drop off your student at school please put some clothes on. If you got up in enough time to see that little so and so was dressed and ready for school could you please do the same. I really hate walking down the stairs to our classroom and seeing your undies peeking out from your pajama pants. Let your child know that you value them by getting dressed and running a comb through your hair. And when you pick them up THREE hours later at the end of the morning session, please make sure you are not dressed in the afore-mentioned attire. Please get a shower and get ready for the day while your pre-k kiddo is at school.
Secondly TALK to your kids, talk to them about anything, some of the speech delays that I am seeing this year are because a.) you let them have a bottle or a pacifier for too long and b.) you never talk to them or try to help them talk and speak appropriately. Tell them about the car ride to school, talk about the weather, talk about what you will be doing after school, tell them about your job or if you do not work; tell them about daddy's job or your current boy friend's job. Just talk to them.
Thirdly, dress them appropriately for the weather we experience here in the mid-west, for crying out loud, watch or listen to a weather report. Sometimes it will be warm and sunny when they arrive at school and when they leave it might be snowing, so dress them in layers. AND do not let them wear FLIP FLOPS to school. They have a hard time walking anyway, let's not make it more difficult, no matter how cute those shoes were at Old Navy.
Finally, let them explore and create in a supervised environment, most of the three and four year olds in one of my classes cannot use scissors and do not hold crayons let alone pencils the correct or "developmentally " correct way. Let them get dressed by themselves, or if you do not have the time to show them how to snap their pants or tie their shoes, send them in ELASTIC pants and in slip-on or velcro shoes.
Parents, I know raising children is a thank-less job, it takes long hours, patience, and love. I really love your kiddos and I want them to be the best that they can be, but please do your part. I can only do so much in the three hours that I see them each day during the school year.

LOVE,
E.B. Mama

My favorite time of the year

2008-05-04T14:54:00.002-05:00

This next week is my absolute favorite time of the year. I love Spring, I also love Mother's Day. It is actually the only holiday that I celebrate. I do not want gifts on Mother's Day, maybe a meal or something. Last year when I was pregnant with Baby Gnat Mr. Anti-Hippie and I had the most romantic evening buying garden plants and planting my garden. In previous years Eddy and the Anti-Hippie have treated me to breakfast and showered me with gifts.I do not expect anything other than to sleep in and not be asked to do anything on that special day. When I was single and working as a waitress, I always hated working on Mother's Day it would bring out those people who only do nice things for their mothers on Mother's Day. I hated waiting on people who were so crabby and unappreciative, and those were always the people who did not tip very well anyway, so I never went too far out of my way with their service.
This is also my favorite time of year because I love planting flowers and my garden. This year with the grocery prices being so high, I am planning on a big garden. I am planning on tomatoes, eggplant, cucumbers, peppers, Banana and Green, pumpkins, water melon, various herbs, and lettuce.
I also secretly love this time of year because the school year is almost over, I love counting down the days until it is over, I like my job, but by this time of year I am ready to be finished.

ROCKS

2008-05-04T14:43:00.002-05:00

Eddy Haskel is a collector, he collects bugs, hats, and rocks. When he was little he would bring me "beautiful" rocks and ask me, isn't this a beautiful rock? I would say yes and keep the rock, these first rocks were little, I eventually had enough rocks that I put a smallish lamp on a smallish plate and decorated the base with rocks. Well, then Eddy started collecting rocks that were too big for the lamp on the plate, and those rocks went in the landscaping and they actually looked okay.
When we moved a few weeks ago, I found rocks in almost every corner of the house, I found rocks under the couch, under my bed, under his bed, down stairs, in the kitchen, and even in a drawer in his bathroom.
I told Eddy that from now on all rocks must stay outside, well guess what? We moved into a house whose previous owner was a rock collector, yup my whole front yard, side yard, and back yard are full of rocks. The previous owner even took some rocks with him when they moved. Apparently when he started collecting rocks he would ask friends to bring back rocks when they went traveling afar.
I love rocks, but this is too much, there are rocks from Eddy and rocks from Jim the previous owner, I do not need anymore rocks, so if you come and visit, keep your car locked or I just might send some rocks home with you!!

I am a slacker because we moved

2008-04-19T17:46:00.005-05:00

For all of those who have been waiting with baited breath, here is my first Blog in over a month. We moved, we packed up all of our shit and moved it to a new location. I am exhausted, I am tired of living out of boxes, and I am ready for the unpacking fairies to come and finish unpacking those last few boxes that I just threw stuff into so that it could be moved.
Actually, I love our new space, it is just that it does not seem like it is ours yet, although there are a few rooms that do. Eddy Haskel and Gnat were the first occupants to have a finished room. Gnat's room is purple shown above and Eddy's room is newt green and grasshopper green. Yup, those are actually the names of the colors, for those of you who do not know Eddy he is a total bug and reptile phreak!! So his room fits him to a T.

I am tired of wall paper, you know the kind that was the first wall paper that was ever invented, that they stuck to the wall with super glue? I hate wall paper, I love picking at it, and found it very therapeutic to pick at the walls, but I aint ever hanging that stuff in my house, wait until you see pictures of the decoupaged wall paper in my dining room.
Over my life time I have acquired several households plus the one that already existed when we moved in with Aaron a few years ago. So when we got ready to move we had more than enough stuff to fill our new house.

Why Would You?

2008-03-12T21:00:00.003-05:00

I bought Eddy Haskel a recorder because at school they are learning how to read music, keep time, and care for an instrument. So why in the world would he put Silly Putty up inside of the recorder? The recorder was not expensive, but what possessed him to put Silly Putty inside?
Well here it is:
Me: "Eddy why did you put Silly Putty into your new recorder?"

Eddy: "Because I wanted to see if it would come out of the holes when I put in there," pause--- "but that did not happen."

Really, did you really think that the Silly Putty would just come out of the holes, like the Play Doh toys, really?? Thanks Eddy

Speaking of putting things were they do not belong I have another story to tell on Eddy

When Eddy was younger, I often thought that there was something in his ear, he rarely ever wanted me to clean out his ears, but those who know me, know I am like a mama monkey and I am constantly picking and preening on my kids.
There came a point in Eddy's life where he developed a stall tactic when it came time to getting dressed and ready for the day. Well that kid reads me like a book sometimes; and he knew if he brought me some Q-Tips or the nail clippers this would stall the dressing process. One day while he was stalling he brought me the Q-Tips and as I was cleaning, I noticed that the Q-Tip was really not going in to his ear very well *(I know all about Q-Tips and ears, and how nothing should enter the ear canal and all, but I enjoy the way a Q-Tip feels inside my ear), I grab a pen-light and look into his ear, where I spied something!! I called my MIL because she had an otoscope and medical training. She told me she would try to get whatever it was out, but if she could not that I needed to call my ear, nose, and throat specialist. When we got up to her house, she looked in his ear with the otoscope, and removed a pearl from his ear. A real live freaking pearl. Come to find out he was playing in his Grandma Crabby Patty's button jar and wondered what would happen if that pearl went into his ear, this happened as far as I can tell when he was two years old, the pearl was removed when he was 7. The pearl was in his ear for over 4 years!!!
The pearl had a hole in it so he could probably hear, and the way the ear canal is shaped it must have just lain out of sight when the doctor would check his ears on his Well Child Visits. This was the summer that Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl was released, so for a while we ended up calling Eddy, Captian Pearl.

So now you know please do not put pearls into your ears and Silly Putty into your recorder!!

I do not want to loose my milk

2008-03-11T23:49:00.001-05:00

I am a nursing mama, I am under an enormous amount of stress right now, and I do not want to loose my milk. I need to focus on the family right now. Here is a short list of why I really should focus on the family and my milk supply:

I am working on my Master's Degree right now and the teacher and the assignments are stressing me out

We recently sold our house and I need to pack and then move

My eldest has some behavioral issues we are trying to work out

My husband supports all that I do, but for crying in a bucket he is just a man ie. (he cannot multi-task)

If it snows one more time, I think I'll just cry

This whole teacher and assignment thing is my true hang up, I think?? I just think this person has no business teaching this class, oh and did I mention the next class too. She is pretty much wasting my time and money, but these are my last two classes before I student teach

I am staying hydrated and eating a pretty balanced diet, I just do not want these stressful situations to wreck havoc on the whole nursing thing, I need to and the babe needs me!!

Thanks for reading, EBM

I Can't Stop

2008-03-10T18:47:00.002-05:00

On Friday Auntie K came and babysat for Baby Gnat, as I had some school work that I needed to wrap up. Well Thursday Night Auntie K called and told me she was still planning on sitting for us on Friday and that she had this book for me to read. She said "oh I could not put it down", so I thought nothing of it and went about my business as usual on Friday. Well she left the book and Friday night I dove head first into the book,The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. It is the Story of Dinah, told from her perspective, rather than the gratuitous rape scene of Genesis 34. I love stories that empower women, and this was no exception.
I know this book is not new, but I really could not put it down. I read until the wee hours of the morning starting Friday night. The next day I awoke, with ten thousand things to do on my To Do List, and all I could think of was that book, so alas I read. I read all day, in between nursing the babe and my eldest's requests for food, I read, I read until I finished that book. Not because I could, but because I couldn't. I couldn't STOP, I was compelled to read. This sometimes happens and I know better, I know I should make better choices, I know I should be doing my To Do List. I also know the let down I feel when I finish a good book, I know that the next few books I read will pale in comparison to the GREAT book I just read. I have several books that have bookmarks in them sitting on my night-stand right now, and I know they are good books but they do not make me feel like neglecting my Duties. So thanks again Auntie K, I loved the book, and the escape. Thanks again, it was a Great Book. Looking forward to a book discussion over a bottle of wine sometime.

Again

2008-03-05T20:39:00.003-06:00

Dear You Know Who You Are,

Your nails are "done up" again. Did you not just lose your job last week? Are you not on public assistance? Were you not the one saying at the last family function that you were upset that you were on public assistance? Yet your nails are done, you have nicer clothes than we do, and your baby always has on a new outfit. WTF?
Please go get a job at Wal-Mart or something, I am not judging you but you are healthy and you can work, go get a job, any job. I know that your family did not impart you with the WORK ETHIC that my family did, but you have a very very sick baby that needs a transplant, please go and get a job, so that when you look back on this time later in your life you know that you were not draining the system.
You drive newer automobiles than Mr. Anti Hippie and myself, and we work combined like 4 jobs, you work combined like 1. You are from that ME Generation, the ME Generation that expects someone to "help" you out, give you a hand out, if I was in your shoes I would be working like 6 jobs, you have a sick baby at home and tons of people willing to help you take care of that baby. This does not mean that they are supposed to give you hand outs or money, they will help you take care of the baby the rest is up to you.
T and B get a job! Quit living out of your means, this means start budgeting, start EATING at home, now that you are home start cooking. You got all the cookware for your wedding (20K wedding).
For those of you who have read this whole post, I know this sounds like sour grapes, but I have a job, when I could not afford certain luxuries I went without them or I worked my ass off in order to have them, and my kid came first, not my nails. I worked so that he would have the best, the best education, cause believe me TTLC (Eddy's Child Care Center) was not cheap. I drove my Ford Explorer into the ground, 250,000 miles, I gave up many things so that he could have, and it was not the best but he (Eddy Haskel) CAME FIRST. These two that I am complaining about always put themselves first. Nails, new truck, new car, new this and new that.

Please grow up, I know Baby M is on the Transplant list, but do her a favor, go out and be productive, even if it is just a job at Dollar General, quit using the system. Budget, budget, budget. Give up those luxuries, they will come with hard HARD work and determination. I vowed that Eddy Haskel would not be raised in poverty, that I would rise above it, and I did. I went to college, and went back to college, and graduated, and went back again, and in December I will graduate, again. No, I will not have a Playstation 3, nor will I own Rock Band, nor will I have a stroller or Bedroom set that matches, but I will not be on public assistance. I will own my own house, I will own 2 vehicles that are paid off, even though they are older models, I will cook dinner at home ALMOST every night, and I will love the one I am with for who he is, and I will love my kids.
I am sorry life has dealt you what it has dealt you, but remember I still love all of you and I will help you, you just need to help yourselves right now, and getting your nails "done", is not helping any of us.

Love,
EBM

SOLD

2008-03-05T15:52:00.002-06:00

My house has been on the market since September and this past weekend it finally sold. I am bittersweet about this whole thing. I love this house, albeit is too small for our expanding family, but I love it. We have a huge yard, front and back and a fenced in portion for our dogs to run. We have an above ground pool which makes Midwestern Summers that much more bearable, I have a garden, and and a wonderful recycled clothes line (we salvaged from a neighbor's yard).
Our new house is wonderful, this will be the first house I have ever purchased, and I am excited. But to get to the heart of the matter, I am resistant to CHANGE. Yeah, that six letter word scares the bejebbers outa' me. I am a creature of habit, and change makes me anxious. We have 4 weeks to be out of this house, and I had already moved some of the clutter out when we put this house on the market, and I have already begun packing, but I am scared. I am scared, really scared, I am leaving my fire department, I am moving nearer to Mr. Anti-Hippie's family, and I am moving farther from my good friend Earth Muffin. It is rumored that this new town we are moving to, does not allow girls on their fire department and that also makes me anxious. The fire department that I am leaving, is wonderful, they are supportive of all the women on the department, since we are a farming community I have been to plenty of fires where the majority of us were females. Once a guy even commented on the fact that there were 5 women on scene, and he asked if there were any men in our department. My Chief told the guy that yeah there were but the five of us were tough enough to put out any fire, and we were efficient and got the job done, but I digress. I want to be a fire fighter in the town we are moving to, but I might have to file a sexual discrimination suit first, and that also scares me.

Our new house has more square footage and it is in a nice neighborhood. We have a Koi fish pond in the back yard, and a custom kitchen with an ironing center, but I will miss this little house here in BH, and all the memories that were made here.

Having a first date here with Mr. Anti Hippie

Moving in with Mr. Anti Hippie (Eddy Haskel got his own room and bathroom)

Mr. Anti Hippie proposing to me in the kitchen August 25, 2005

Getting married (at my parent's house really close to here November 5th, 2005)

Movie Nights

Mother's Day (my favorite Holiday, in fact the only holiday I really celebrate)

Preparing for Baby Gnat's arrival

Bringing home Baby Gnat

I know that change is inevitable and it too will bring about good things, but I am a Leo I am stubborn and resistant. Over the next few weeks as I pack up our lives and prepare our new house to become our new home, I will become very sentimental as I go through boxes of memories. As I reflect upon change and changing, I hope to become less resistant over the next few weeks and with the prospect of Spring on the horizon, I can only hope that many more memories are to be made with in the walls of our new home.